Login
MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For We Were Soldiers

Name: Ascendio (Signed) · Date: 08/14/11 13:47 · For: Chapter 1: Sixth Year
Ohh, very good so far!

The beginning reminds me a bit of JKR's style of beginning the books to be honest, describing the setting and everything in detail before setting out the action.

One nitpick is it's a bit difficult to keep up with all the characters in the Great Hall as you kept referring to them only by their physical appearence. You refer to one as the "boy with greasy looking black hair and dark beady eyes," and then have "the skinny dark eyed boy" say something. Are they both the same person? I'm assuming both are Snape, but it can get confusing.

Sonja seems like a well-developed character. Quiet, seems smart, mixed opinions about her fellow classmates. She definitely seems like a Slytherin, but not a Pansy Parkinson type Slytherin if you know what I mean ;)

Interested to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you! That's quite a compliment :) I always like stories with a bit of action right at the beginning, so thought it fitting. Yes I see what you mean, I was trying to describe without going over the top, if that makes sense? I'll be sure to keep an eye out for that in future chapters should it arise. Thank you :) it's always hard intergrating an OC into the fray whilst trying to make it believable. I'm hoping I get the balance of her character just right so she seems like a true Slytherin, without her being to stereo-typed. Thank you very much for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter, which should be up soon!


You must login (register) to review.