Author's Response: Thank you for reading! I really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)
Great shot! This reminded me of the song "Stars" from Les Miserables.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! And I could see why it might remind you of that song! Thanks for the review, I appreciate it! ~Gina :)
Wow! very well said! Great story!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it - thanks for the review!! ~Gina :)
Gina â€” that was amazing!
Honestly, I wasnâ€™t quite sure what to expect with this piece, considering its length. I didn't think it would be possible to create such a moving story (and nearly reduce me to tears in the process) within 883 words! But I clicked on this for several reasons: firstly, because I know you are a wonderful author. Also because the summary intrigued me; I always think itâ€™s a good idea to have an extract of the bigger picture in your summary, and I adored your title too. I thought that how the title fitted in with the story (and vice versa) was ingenious on your part. Well done there.
Perhaps itâ€™s because I read a lot of your James/Lily fics (I promise I will get started on Raindrops soon!) but I am really glad I chose to read this. I know this is in the Marauder Era cat, but the mood in this piece was very dark, whereas your James/Lilys are more focused on the romance aspect of it, and the use of the present tense made the atmosphere very urgent. I really liked your use of first person, too; you pulled off Siriusâ€™s voice flawlessly here.
There is a real frankness in your writing style here, Gina. Nothing is overdone; itâ€™s so easy to slip into melodrama when writing a fic that is angsty, but you sidestepped well away from that. There is rawness in your writing that I really loved â€” the absence of dialogue really worked here. I didn't even notice it at first, actually. It was as if I was in Siriusâ€™s head, and the lack of dialogue was because of how Sirius wasnâ€™t really paying attention to what was going on around him, only about James and Lilyâ€™s deaths.
Which brings me to the plot. The story of James and Lilyâ€™s deaths is an oft-explored event, and almost always, it is written from James and Lilyâ€™s point of view. I really liked your fresh take on that, and that you picked the aftermath rather than the actual thing. It is almost as if this is a prequel to Harry Potter and the Philosopherâ€™s Stone, and if I didn't know that this was fanfiction, I would have been thoroughly convinced that this was canon. I loved the part when Sirius kissed Harryâ€™s forehead, too; so very Sirius, and very sweet. Enough to make a girl swoon, I tell you.
I love your poetic use of language in this piece, as well; and from Siriusâ€™s point of view, no less. The description was artistically and tastefully executed, and was simply beautiful. I wasnâ€™t entirely sure about the over formalness of Siriusâ€™s words, at times. I know that it was written from his point of view, so it technically counts as narrative, but occasionally, the absence of an apostrophe made the dialogue slightly stilted. One example of this is the use of the word â€ścannotâ€ť. However, I don't think it sounds right or appropriate to use â€ścanâ€™tâ€ť, yet â€ścannotâ€ť sounds very formal and a little un-Sirius. Iâ€™m assuming that this was your intention, since the mood of the fic is sombre. So in that respect, I suppose it is fitting to use formal words. Never mind, I just answered my own question :)
As such a short piece, I thought it flowed very well. It was neither fast-paced nor did it drag, and you covered the events seamlessly. You put a lot in those few words, and I think that gave the piece a wonderful quality. The ending was particularly powerful, and overall, Gina, I think this ficâ€™s greatest strength is that you answered a lot of questions in canon. You added to certain aspects of canon, too, and made them more believable.
So all in all, Gina, an absolutely magnificent fic, and definitely going on my favourites list. Well done.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the amazing review! Squeeeeee! I'm so glad you read it. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm so speechless at your lovely comments I don't even know what to say. I wrote this for a TTB drabble challenge, which is why it's so short. When I decided to submit it, I really wanted to expand it, but there just wasn't anything else to say. It says what it needs to say. I think a lot of what you commented on flowed first from the very strong visual I had of this happening, and then second from the decision to write it first person present tense - which wasn't really a decision, it just happened naturally. So I'm glad it all worked, lol. And since I have been known to whine about getting Sirius right, I'm glad *he* worked, although those darn contractions and the formality/informality they lend a piece are always tricky! Really, I think I just lucked out on this one, lol. Having said that, I am suddenly curious to see if I could try for another...hm...like I need more plot bunnies...:D Thanks again Soraya!! ~Gina :)
This is a beautifully written piece, you conveyed the pure emotion of the moment with perfection. The raw anger and yet sadness and pain of loss is what you suceeded in capturing with this, however short. I think that in making it simple you made it all the more meaningful. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a nice review. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed this story and particularly appreciate your comment about how it is short and simple yet meaningful, since I was sort of worried it was too short. Thank you! ~Gina
How can you show a character going through so many emotions in less than 1000 words? You have such a wonderful grasp of Sirius' character, and what James and Lily really meant to him. I loved the line I cannot fail my friend in this one last duty, when I have failed him in all else. I think that's just so Sirius.
I loved the few one-line paragraphs you used - they really stand out and amongst all the other paragraphs it's very effective. I also liked that you didn't write any of the dialogue - even though obviously Sirius and Hagrid actually would talk, the way you wrote it sort of showed Sirius' numbness and attempt to put everything together in his mind.
Excellent story, Gina!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Katrina. You know, it never occurred to me to write dialogue. I don't know why, it just didn't. It just wouldn't fit the style I set out with when I first drabbled this piece. I'm glad you liked the one-line paragraphs, sometimes those can be as obstructive as they are meaningful. I really appreciate your lovely review. Thank you so much for reading this story! ~Gina :)
Sighhhh. This is so sad, Gina. You made me tear up. The way you moved through Sirius' emotions in this piece is so poignant and fluid, I can't even begin to explain how moving it was... Just beautiful, Gina. Beautiful.
Author's Response: Thank you so much Julia! And thank you for the nomination as well! Occasionally I can turn out some decently pretty prose, I guess, lol. ;) I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for reading and for the amazing review (and nomination!) ~Gina :)
This was an absolutely amazing story!I loved it.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it and really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)
OMP, Twin, this is so powerful. In a way, I'm glad it was so short, because it is strong and emotive as it, and Sirius's feelings are so well-drawn and potent. The way he goes from devastation, to joy at Harry's survival ,to grief over parting with his godson and at the loss of good friend, and finally to rage at Peter, it is such a perfect sequence.
And the last line is just a giant exclamation on the whole piece. Such a wonderful piece! Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the amazing review, twin! I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad I had it ready for the recents list. ;) I sort of wish there were more, but that's all: just a short glimpse of how horrible that night must have been for Sirius. So sad. Thanks for reading so quickly and again for the review! ~Gina :)