Perfectly concise and funny. A nice little marauder story that fits perfectly into canon.
I LOVE this story, I have to say. The characterization was especially good with Sirius, I thought. (I had to read the Toothpaste/Elvendork part multiple times because it made me laugh so much.)
But the real reason I'm commenting on this is that I've been trying to contact you through email, but the address isn't working anymore. If you're still interested in beta'ing "We'll Be Young Forever", I'd LOVE to work with you again :) I tried your contact on here unsuccessfully and I couldn't find you on the Beta Boards. I'm posting here in the vain hope that this will somehow get to you.
I know it's been a while, so it's likely that either you're not interested or you've changed your email, but I would still really love to have you as a beta. I'm going to wait a while, but if you don't respond to this I think I'm going to, by and by, put up a thread for a new beta. Though just know that even if you find this two years from now (assuming I'm still working on this), you're always welcome to start again!
Again, great story!
Lots and lots of love,
Author's Response: Firstly, thanks for the review! Secondly, ASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKL I HAD NO IDEA THAT EMAIL HAD DIED OFF. I AM SO SORRY. email@example.com Sorry sorry sorry!
Cute story! Please write more!
Author's Response: Thankyou :D And there may or may not be something currently in the works ...
LOL especially about your chapter end notes.
Author's Response: hahaha thankyou! :)
I love this story. It's perfect. That's all I can say.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Miss B! I'm glad you liked it so much! ~Annie
This story really made me smile, Annie. At first when I saw the title and the R&J quote, I thought this was going to be a cliched 'two people from opposite houses fall in love' sort of story... so I'm glad you took that quote and used it in another context.
As Soraya said, the dialogue in this is so well-written. The characters really come alive through it. I smiled constantly at how opinionated and picky James and Lily were, but it was sweet at the same time because they wanted something to be perfect for their little baby.
There are a fair few fics around which are James/Lily and quite light, which seem to ignore Voldemort and the war entirely, which seems unrealistic (especially considering how dark things get in the last 3 HP books... and the characters say it was worse last time), but this story is more one of those "finding the good times amongst the bad" moments. Because you mention the war, and not wanting to bring a child up in it, and you mention Death Eaters and the Order, and yet the characters are also able to have fun.
Just a small little nitpick - you've written There’s eight days to go., when it should say "there are..."
Anyway, I loved this fic. The dialogue was excellent as were the characters and the humour.
Author's Response: Thanks very much for your review Katrina! I'm glad it made you smile, 'cause believe me, it was a lot of fun to write. Yeah, I did want to try and write something Lily/James that hadn't really been done before, for fear of falling into clichéd plotlines. Regarding the nitpick, I will fix that as soon as I submit this response. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ~Annie
brlliant story. I just LOVED Sirius, you know?? I was laughing most of the time, it was... just fantastic. :D
Author's Response: I'm glad you LOVED Sirius :) Thanks for reading and reviewing, glad you enjoyed it :D
This was a wonderful story! I'm still laughing. And when they brought up Elvendork, I almost died. "What's nice about that one is, you can use it for a boy OR a girl," and all that. Also, Elvendork Potter and the Philosopher's Stone has a certain ring to it.... Anyway, Elvendork aside, this was great and I loved your characterizations of James, Lily, and Sirius.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yeah, the characterisations were pretty tough for a while there, tbh, but once I got the plot together the characters started forming alright. I'm glad it made you laugh, it's a really good feeling to know that I made someone probably very far away "almost die" laughing :D
Why didn't you name him Earwig Edwin the Rolling Purple Unicorn Heartbreaker?
Love the story, though. =)
(Snowlily is in no way, shape or form affiliated with this review, although she did type it.)
Author's Response: I guess I wanted to keep things canon, and I'm pretty sure it's not "Earwig Edwin the Rolling Purple Unicorn Heartbreaker and the Philosopher's Stone" that was released :P I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks very much for the review :)
That was so, so, so good and funny and all around enjoyable, especially the end note. This name story is very sweet and I loved it very much. It is going on my favorites! =)
Author's Response: Oh, a favourite? Thanks heaps, Snowliliy! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Annie, it seems like a lifetime ago that I beta’d this fic. But I’m glad I did, because it was a truly delightful read, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it a second time round.
The thing with James/Lily stories is that because it’s such a common pairing, there are lots of clichés that are created, so it was really nice to see something more original than the usual stuff. I loved the idea of a Shakespeare quote at the beginning — it’s one of my favourite sections of Romeo and Juliet. (That is where it’s from, right? Unless my English Literature is failing me... :S)
This is a dialogue-heavy story, and I think dialogue is definitely your strength in writing. In fact, it was so good that I only remembered the story was written in present tense at the end. You have a knack at creating perfect Marauder banter, as well as, most importantly, James/Lily banter, because that was what kept the characters in character the entire time. What’s more, the dialogue is realistic, and that made the story realistic along with the plot.
Speaking of which, the concept was just ingeniously simple and tied in with the title perfectly. I loved how you linked it back with the quote, and how the plot was uncomplicated and easy to understand and follow. I did pause at how it sort of jumped from Lily being not-very-pregnant to eight months pregnant. I just felt it was a big jump for me, and made the story sound just a little hollow in the middle.
I also think that one thing you could watch for next time is the use of words like “grin” to describe how somebody’s speaking. For example, ‘Hey, Lily,’ he grins, kissing me on the cheek. You can’t really “grin” a word. But anyway, that wasn’t a big deal, and it definitely didn't detract anything from the story, don’t worry. I just thought I’d point it out since I was your beta ;)
The humour included in this piece made me laugh out loud at times. James and Lily’s over-fussiness of names was really funny, yet so believable too; I know a lot of people who are even fussier with names. The reference to JKR’s short piece she did for charity was just hilarious, and I love how you included that. Sirius’ comments were very funny as well, and this use of humour in the form of dialogue, mainly, was good for the story’s flow. At no point did the story drag; there was always something interesting or funny around the corner.
I thought the connection between Neville and Harry was really interesting. The depiction of Alice pre-torture was rather heartbreaking, frankly; yet, the thing I liked most about this story is that you didn't portray the Longbottoms or the Potters as perfect couples as their sons probably think they were.
And then, the ending segment was simply beautiful. You had the description there, but it wasn’t over the top or melodramatic or anything, and I really appreciated that. Then, James ends their moment of bliss by demanding a name — so typical James! I loved how the whole name debate kind of became the story’s arc, and it was never overused or anything — and it’s always easy to go overboard with stuff like that.
In this story, Annie, you had the right mix of romance, angst and humour. In doing so, you also ensured every character’s characterisation was spot-on, seemingly flawlessly, as well as having a proper plot. The premise of this story was intriguing from start to finish and it was simply a lovely read.
P.S. You may or may not have noticed that I’ve also nominated this for the Best Humour QSQ. :D
Author's Response: Soraya, thank you so much! Yeah, the quote's from Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet (which, in all honesty, I didn't like very much, but the quote was good). You've commented on everything that I wanted to get across, seriously, thank you. You were, or course, the most amazing, fabulous beta in the world. A QSQ nominationation? Are you kidding me? omg, I can't stop smiling. Thanks so much! Annie x