Well that was…interesting. Then again, the original poem was good, albeit strange. Your representation of Snape is good, and it sticks to canon very well. I did feel that some of this poem was a bit too literal in following the original, but as a Copycat challenge, I suppose that was the point.
The imagery in this poem was very raw and it shows Snape in all his ‘glory’. By that I mean it shows that he truly does love Lily. I especially liked the line
I think that you definitely accommodated the required words well. Don’t get me wrong, the poem is very good, despite its quirks, but I just found it a bit odd. I apologise that this review cannot really do it justice.
Poetry is poetry, and there are no rules in poetry. In fact, that's the first rule, if you can get past the paradoxical nature of that statement. :)
Anyways, this was one of the most beautiful and agonizing things I've ever read, because it felt like a dream and it captured the emotions just right with its subtle simplicity. You really should consider publishing a lot of your work. No doubt that one day in the future, they will sell The Complete Works of Hestia Jones (Natalie), an it will be a best seller! Flying off the shelves, and filling children's (and adults) dreams by the millisecond. :)
Author's Response: That is the best compliment anyone has EVER paid me. :D While I won't be allowed to publish my fandom-related work, I could write raps and agonising poetry :D:D
I just want to say this poem is AWESOMEZ!
Author's Response: AWESOMEZ review. Thanks.
Why haven't I seen this poem? Is it in PA? This is lovely and so darn powerful. I need to ask you, because I don't know the original and it could be to do with that, but why are certain words like Muscles capitalised. I'm not saying it's a fault AT ALL, I just wondered (runs away in case she's hit with the Zechad Hex)
Seriously this is a beautiful poem and very evocative.
There's a reason I'm not in SPEW - this review should give you a clue - hee hee hee hee.
Author's Response: What an inappropriate and zechadly review this is! I am completely bemused and do not know how to respond. ... Heehee. This was my second entry for the Copycat Challenge. The capitalisations reflect those of the original, and I actually dunno why Dickinson capitalised hers. o.O Thanks for the lovely review, Croll! This may not be SPEWly, but it really brings a smile on my face, and is as cherished as a monstrous review!~Natalie