I’m going to jump straight to the point, as I don’t know how else to start this review — I really liked it. Sometimes, when basing a poem off an original, it begins to feel forced, as though you are trying to fit your own words into the mold of the other poem. It definitely did not feel so here. I thought you did a wonderful job of copying the original poem’s style while still maintaining your own tone throughout. Just… amazing.
One of the things I really liked about the poem was that it covered the entire series of the Harry Potter books. It didn’t just focus on one year or one event, but rather encompassed the entire magical experience of the novels. I thought it was nice how you had it progress from book to book, from the moving staircases to the Triwizard Tournament. Throughout the poem, you managed to capture the feel and tone of the books, even though the poem you were basing this off of was not written by J.K. Rowling.
The first stanza I thought maintained the fresh excitement of the first book. Everything — from flying broomsticks to moving staircases — was new to both Harry and us as readers. Though Harry wasn’t referred to as ‘The Chosen One’ until after the fifth book, I liked that line because of the reference to love. Rowling made it quite obvious that love was one of the major themes of the book, and I thought mentioning it in the first stanza really set up the tone for the rest of the poem. It was a great way to start off the poem, and really draws in the reader.
The second and third stanzas were really powerful juxtaposed. The second I thought was more about Harry’s achievements and everything he accomplished, such as being a superb Seeker for Gryffindor as well as winning the Triwizard Tournament at such a young age. I thought the tone there was more triumphant and celebratory. In stanza three, I thought the lightheartedness of the poem began to fade, as it did in the fourth Potter book. This line really stood out to me for that reason: ‘Accio friends with weary smiles!’ I felt like here it began to show the repercussions that all the triumphs had on Harry as well as his friends by the mention of their ‘weary smiles.’ I thought it was a great turning point for the poem to go on to darker material.
The final stanza was just so powerfully written and wonderfully done. It showed that every triumph Harry and his friends had was working towards something much bigger — the ‘righteous war,’ as you called it. And most of all it ended on a hopeful note, showing why good would triumph over evil in the end — because of the pure-heartedness of the students. It was such a great way to end the poem, and I felt as though this ending sort of reflected the ending to the Potter books in that it wasn’t completely happy, but wasn’t sad and it did leave room for hope.
I admit I don’t read much poetry on the archives, but I’m getting better about clicking on them in case a gem like yours pops up. Great job with this, really!
I think it's lovely. I just read the Blake poem and think you did a wonderful job paralleling it. Reading the original helped me understand the first two stanzas, as well. I had to read those several times to get a feel for them (the Chose One of love feels awkward.) The last two stanzas work really well, particularly the Accio lines, although I wonder if a Patronus Charm would work as well as a Lumos charm at the end. Overall, I really do get a sense of joy from this poem. Great job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you got that sense of joy from it! Yeah, I can see how reading it as a poem would make some of the lines sound awkward. When writing it, I heard it to the tune of "Jerusalem," which makes the phrasing kind of weird. Thank you for reviewing! ~Virgil
This is lovely. I really liked the phrase "the chosen pne of love". The imagery and emotions are truly felt- and shared.
From one aspiring poet to another, keep writing. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!! ^_^ I'm glad those emotions came across the way I wanted them to. ~Virgil