Reviews For Hope for Merope
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 11/20/12 16:02
Chapter: Hope for Merope

This was a rather interesting summary of what happened to Merope. She has become one of my favorite characters, and I have to say that your poem captured her rather well. :) The simple rhyme scheme actually made sense to use, because Merope is a rather simple character, and I found that the rhyme helped characterize her in that way. I was rather impressed that the rhymes didn't feel all that forced.

In this stanza, though, I think the rhyme could change: Only the baby to keep her alive/Onto London's streets she was whirled/She sold the precious necklace/Which would one day come back to haunt the world. I rather like the ending part, so perhaps if you changed "whirled" to "hurled," it would flow better. However, I really think that it would work better with a different word choice.

There were some points when the rhythm was jagged, like in the second stanza. Perhaps it would better as this: Slaving all day/She never had a chance/She yearned to be free,/Escape this meaningless trance.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this ditty. :) There should always be hope for Merope, because I think she deserved better. Great job! Keep it up! ~Nagini

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 07/28/12 20:31
Chapter: Hope for Merope

The premise of this poem is good, and your characterisation of Merope is great too. Her story is one not often told, so this was nice to read.

Your rhymes in this poem work well, and the repetition of hope throughout the poem showed a strong central theme. You clearly show that this hope and lack of it are central to Merope’s story. It was a sad poem, although I felt that more emotion could've been conveyed if you had used a few more emotive adjectives.

However, I think that some of the stanzas are rather awkward to read out loud, due to the syllables on the lines. This does get better throughout the poem, but at the beginning particularly it is a problem. This is not actually a big problem, and is easily fixed. Take the second stanza, for example. The line lengths are very different, and the syllable count for each line goes 4, 8, 6, 11. This is quite a mouthful to read, but if you were to even out the lines a bit to make the number of syllables on each line more equal, it would read a bit more easily. For example:

Working all day, she was

never given a chance

She wanted to be free; instead

she lived in a meaningless trance


This poem would also benefit from some punctuation. The entire poem has none, and this makes it difficult to distinguish between ideas. You do a good job of this with your stanza separation, but if you were to punctuate the poem it would be much easier for the reader. The easiest way to sort out your punctuation is to read the poem as if it were normal prose and punctuate it the way you would prose. Also, you don’t need to capitalise each line (I have been told).

Overall though, I think that this is a good poem. It is built on an interesting premise and it does work. It just has some room for improvement, but the potential for a very good poem is there. :)

Reviewer: The_Dream_Team
Date: 07/20/11 0:15
Chapter: Hope for Merope

This was really well done :D I love Merope's story, so this was really interesting to read! Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: OtterMoone
Date: 07/05/11 12:38
Chapter: Hope for Merope

Wow.... very good, and very sad! And it sums it up perfectly :)

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