Well, I think that you should try to give Riddle more of an edge. He seems too compliant and willing to let Bella control him, so perhaps that needs some more explanation. However, you have a good writing style, and I think if you keep working at it, this story will evolve into a masterpiece. :)
Again, quite interesting. I'm very curious to see how this turns out! Although I do wonder why he didn't show himself to someone who would have recognized him as both Tom riddle and voldemort. I'm sure that there were still loyal death eaters of his that knew him as both...
Can't wait to see what happens next!
Very interesting start. My curiosity has been piqued and I want to keep reading to see where this goes. Good job!
Great job Hayden! The story has really improved! Things make a lot more sense now! And yes, the characterizations were perfect.
So glad you reposted this! it'll be really interesting to see what course the revamped version of the story will take! :)
-claps hands excitedly-
You did repost it :) I've been checking on a not quite regular basis (in other words when I remember lol)
I enjoyed this opening chapter more than the origional and I now can't wait to see what happens next!
Looking forward to reading more :)
Jess
Author's Response: Thanks so much! The coming chapters will be different from the first version, and more exciting, I hope. Stay tuned ;) Hayden
