I was wondering, as I read this, if you'd had to discuss with your partner the idea of fitting this to the rest of your stories. I'm a sucker for continuity, so the fact that you've made most of your writing fit the same timeline has been great. On the (slight) downside, reading so much of your writing has made me want to accept that as the timeline to which my imagination now adheres.
Your timeline aside, this was a really good piece. I like the voice you gave to Michael, something which worried me, since the mind of an Unspeakable must be a crazy place. I think you've done a good job sharing his personality through his actions and the tone of his inner monologue (or is it outer?), rather than trying to describe it third-person. I enjoy your writing, and I really look forward to where this story is going.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I honestly can't thank C_A_Campbell enough fo allowing me to channel her ideas into my timelineI wanted Michael to be something of an obsessed, mad-scientist type. I hope I succeeded.
This is a very interesting collaboration.
I like the way you have linked the characters to your other stories.
Hermione being the only person with enough knowledge to follow Michael's theory was very apt.
Terry is going to marry Fenella!!! Great news, (I have a great weakness for Fenella.)
Like the contrast of two obsessives - Toni and Michael.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you.
I'm grateful to C_A_Campbell for allowing me to fit this story into my timeline. It restricted the her choice of both victims and protagomists.I reckon Luna would understand it, too.
Terry/Fenella was going to happen the moment I finished Summer of '97.They are both obsessed, aren't they?
Oh that was scary!
Can you do bad so good comes of it?
An interesting ethical point.
Very interesting start, look forward to finding out more about Toni.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and sorry for the delayed reply. Suddenly, I can respond.
The questions you ask are those we were trying to discuss.-N-
Very dark and disturbing. I enjoy a good vigilante story. I'm afraid, however, that this unknown woman (or man... Toni is somewhat gender vague) has become the monster. Her mission sort of reminds me of Nazi Hunters, yet she does not take these surviving Death Eaters to prison. She exacts her own justice, which is supposed to be blind. But it is obvious that she has her own motives: revenge.
Her deteriorating mental state disturbs me, and I'm rather curious to find out who she is. Is she really Toni Alden, or is that a cover? Hmm. I eagerly await the next chapter. :)
Toni's gender becomes less vague in the next chapter, and hopefully we explain her motives too.
Thanks for the review-N-
Deep. Intriguing, and though I seriously question the protagonist's mental stability, I can see how he thinks he is doing right. I see his 'justice', though I do believe that killing, in any form, is not justice. Life in prison, maximum security, something like that, would suit me better. But I could understand, very clearly, the protagonist's motivation. I liked the story a lot!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Your concerns about the protagonists mental stability are justified. I agree regarding judicial killing, although I can't speak for my co-author. Which is one of the things which made writing this so interesting. -N-
This promises to be a fascinating study of mercy, justice, and humanity. :)
Author's Response: Thanks, that's what we were striving for. -N-
Author's Response: Thanks -N-
An amazingly intense first chapter, and I'm very much looking forward to the rest. Your character is fascinating, and as a mystery it works very well and definately hooked me!
Author's Response: Thanks. I hope that you enjoyer the resto f the story. -N-
Amazing take on a vigilante taking out the remaining Death Eaters. Especially impressed by Jugson's last moments when he is forced to realize that he is in the very position he put others in and that no one will mourn him. Rather grim how Toni merely serves Justice, but that's his character I guess.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. This was C_A_Campbell's chapter, not mine, she certainly got inside Toni's head. -N-
Wow, this is a really interesting concept, and your character fascinates me. This seems like it's going to be an intense story, looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Suddenly, I'm able to respond to these reviews. Thanks for your comments. -N-