That was a long chapter. It took me two sittings to finish it, but I enjoyed every second of it. I like how you phrased Nott's questions at the end. It was a nice way of summarizing--or were you leading us down the garden path? Speaking of gardens I thought it was funny when Nott was 'deposited' in a tree. I guess that's one of the hazards of Side Apparition:D You took us on a complicated journey and then wrapped up the case very neatly. Somehow I think you are purposely misleading us. Great chapter. I can't wait to see who done it!
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm really glad you liked this chapter. I've been super busy with work and recovering, so I haven't been working on this as much as I'd like to. Once I get back from my business trip, though, I will be on this again like white on rice. ^_^
And me, misleading the reader? Never. ^_~
Paper back cover. Big breasted woman showing lots of cleavage. Smoking gun. Is this pulp Harry potter fiction?
Author's Response: I suppose it does have a pulp fiction theme to it. No big-breasted women and guns, though. :P
Wow--that was amazing. I was literally on the edge of my seat. Compared to this, my little mystery looks like a child's first picture book:D I got the earlier impression that Mary was slow and stupid--possibly mentally disabled. I had a dog like that once. A Great Pyrenees. He'd act stupid and when he had you fooled, he'd make a run for it. And, now I wonder what Kip knows. I loved the ending to this chapter. It seems that nothing fazes Theo. I like people like that. Great chapter. I can't wait to read the next one.
Author's Response: I'm in a coma for a few days and I wake up to such a lovely review. Coma? Yes, long story. I'll email you about it when my head is less fuzzy. I'm beginning to think that Nott and I are sharing a lot in common - mainly that we both seem to be getting hurt a lot. The next chapter might take a bit longer since I wasn't able to work on it this week (being unconscious and all). This will be finished, though - even if I miss the deadline. Thanks so much for the review, love. ^_^
Geez, even your characters have problems with their fingers:D This is getting stranger and stranger and more and more intriguing. I think I'd get very paranoid if I had Theo's job. I would start looking at everyone with suspicion. Lizzy's comments about her role in her family were very interesting. Her half-sister almost seemed mentally disabled as you described her--or at the best, socially inept. This whole splinching thing is mysterious. I hope he gets him thumb reattached.:D Great chapter. Can't wait for the next one.
Author's Response: I wrote this before I severed the tendon in my finger! But, yes, my characters must feel my pain. :P If you think things are strange now, they will get stranger. Hehe. I won't tell you if your suspicions are correct or not, but I will say that everything isn't always as it appears. And Mary is very socially inept. Heh. I hope you like the next chapter just as much. Thanks, Liana. ^_^
AHHH! The backstory is amazing! I loved that dream of his - so powerful. Wow, this is fast becoming addictive - so well done for that. I'm going to suspect Mary ... because ... well, even if the aunt willed her the diamonds, it doesn't help her much because she can't sell them, so she wants the house.
Or Kip, who has found a way to sell them and is making a bid for freedom.
Or Lizzie ... but not sure why.
Nott is fab in this. So different from my image of him, but that's what fanfiction is all about. The drugs are shocking, but so well written. I understand the cigarette stubbing now, but would respectfully suggest that the stubbing out still leaves a mark in his palm along with some others. It would help show his lack of feeling in the hand. (sorry, still nitpicking)
Hmm, I wonder who the old wizard is? Is it Caractacus Burke or Bourgin?
Guess I'll have to keep reading - no real chore - ha ha. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Yes, I thought since I've made him a bit of a drug addict, I should probably give a hint of a reason why. Lol. I plan to drop more subtle hints throughout, so you get a clearer picture, but I think I might just end up writing the backstory to it after. It's hard not to become addicted to Nott. ;)
Thanks so much, Caroline. I shall definitely go back and include the mark on his palm. I agree that it will add more to his sense of numbness. As for the old wizard, I just figured him to be a proprietor of one of the shops on Diagon Alley. He seems too nice for Burke or Bourgin. :P
The next chapter will be in the queue tonight. I just need to give it a look over before I submit (the woes of being your own beta reader). I do think you'll like this next chapter as Tracey is in it again, mocking Nott, and a favourite character of yours is in it too. Here, let me tease you with the title of chapter four: Blaise Zabini.
Oh, even more intriguing. I like the touch about the curse, so it has to be a family member who has them. Hmm, we've not met many people yet, so I'm not going to hazard a guess.
You're keeping up the tension very well, Lia, and your characters are well fleshed out. So well done.
One thing - does Theo really stub out the cigarette in his palm? That sounds very drastic and painful, or is he holding it in his palm and uses his wand to extinguish it. Minor point, but I did have to re-read that paragraph several times and I was still unsure. His lack of reaction bothered me. Cigarettes are so much hotter than candle flames and I'm not sure you could pinch them out (not that I've ever tried.)
Sorry, very minor ... must now get on with the next chapter.
Author's Response: No, he did stub it out in his palm with no reaction. I'm basing it on the fact that he had just shot up and wasn't feeling much of anything. Sadly, I had an uncle who did that. He was so numb from all the drugs he had taken and his hands were so calloused that he just didn't feel it. It used to freak me out. That, or he was the ultimate bad ass. Lol. I'm glad you like the rest of the story. The suspects are few, but I think you still might be a tad surprised. Maybe. Maybe not. ^_~ Thank you so much for reading and review, Carole. ^^
That's brilliant, really. I love the style of your fic-- it feels like writing that I can really sink my teeth into. It's so... rich and engrossing and has an incredibly feel. It's not just the description-- the dialogue too feels old-timey, in a good way. I can see everything in this fic happening in sepia.
About the story itself, things are definitely getting interesting. I really want to know what the deal with the picture was... Right now there don't seem to be too many suspects, but I guess they're going to happen.
The characters are lovely too-- especially Nott and his two women. Very amusing exchanges (when we're talking about Tracey) and I can totally see the romance blossoming between Lizzy and Nott. Great work, I really can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. This is my first time writing a detective story, and while the mystery aspect seemed daunting to write, I had a lot of fun playing with the characters and the atmosphere. As for the painting, you'll find out its importance soon enough. ^^ Tracey is so very fun to write, and I think you'll really like her in the fourth chapter. I'm still waiting for the third chapter to be validated. Thanks so much for reading, and I'm glad you like it so far. ^_^
I waited and waited for this to show up. Finally I got my wish. I'm getting so involved with these mysteries. I've started reading a few of them. My favorite part here was Matilda's remembrance of Harry's breaking into Gringott's. No matter that he's the Chosen One and he broke into a Death Eater's vault. She seemed to think he was just a naughty little boy. That must have happened a few years in the past. Theo sure does have his vices but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. When you're in pain you'll sometimes do anything to get out of it. I have another chapter of Bella Rosa waiting to be approved. Great chapter. Right now, I'm thinking a Goblin did it--I'm usually wrong though.
Author's Response: Hehe, yeah, it took a while to be validated. I already have chapter 3 in queue. Here's hoping that you'll like that chapter. I'm working on 4 now. :D Matilda is quite the character. Of course she'd see Harry as a nuisance. Hehe. As for Theo, most certainly does he have many vices, but he's a good guy at the end of the day. Thanks for the review, and I'll be sure to R&R Bella Rosa when it's validated. :)
Excellent start. I loved reading this first chapter. I know this is current but I had the feeling that it took place back in the 50s. I saw scenes on an old black and white telly. I saw Miss Burke wearing a suit with a pencil skirt and a hat that matched. Oh, oh, and she had real high heels and stockings with a seam down the back. And Theo was dressed in an expensive suit but didn't have the jacket on--he was wearing a white shirt and loosened tie. It seemed like one of those old mysteries--like Perry Mason. I loved it. Have you ever read "The Thirteenth Tale"? It gives that sort of impression also--you know it's a current story but it has that seedy, dusty, old feeling to it. I'm halfway thinking of joining this challenge. But, I haven't been sorted yet and I'm not sure what I'd write about. And, did I read that it has to be solved by June 13th? One thing I must say, is that you're really good at these things. The only thing I didn't approve of was Theo smoking so much. I used to smoke but I quit and I'm so glad I did. On the other hand, it did fit the story. Excellent job.
Author's Response: Thank you, love. I have never written or even read a mystery novel before (especially a detective one), so I think I just drew inspiration from films in previews or in passing. I swear it's like osmosis sometimes. As for the atmosphere, yeah, I was definitely thinking the late '30s, early '40s. It's written in a way where you can assume it's past or present. A nice mesh.
Once you're Sorted, send me a PM. My name on the beta boards is the same on here. I'm curious about what House you'll be Sorted into. We need more brilliant Claws to bring us in some points. ^_~ As for the challenge, I think it might be extended. I certainly hope so because this story will probably have ten chapters. Why - why do I write so much? :P
Oh, and I abhor smoking too, but Theo needs his vices, which you'll find that he has more than just smoking. Here's hoping that the next chapter will be validated soon. :D
I knew when I read the summary that I was going to enjoy this. It's as if I've walked straight into a Philip Marlowe story; the atmosphere is just wonderful. Really, I could picture myself in that office with Theodore and Elizabeth
In my own personal canon, Theo is gay, so I tend to start reading him with that in mind, but you quickly dispelled that from my mind and I became totally entranced by him. Oh, and Tracey, too. “Enchanté,” she mimicked, making kissing noises as she pecked at her own hand. “I, Theodore 'Desperate For A Shag' Nott, am eternally at your service.” This line is still making me giggle and I admit my eyes are watering. I could hear her voice so well, at this point.
So far ... so very good. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you, Carole. I was somewhat nervous about writing a story like this because not only have I never written mystery, I haven't read it either. I'll have to rectify the latter.
In my personal canon, Theo is not nearly this charming, but more of an exceedingly bright loner. Well, two out of three ain't bad. Lol. Tracey, on the other hand, has always been an unforgiving smart arse in my mind. She is a lot of fun to play with. I'm hopeful that you'll like the introduction of a favourite character of yours in the third chapter. Until then, here's wishing to the second chapter being validated soon.
Thank you, again, for reviewing. ~Lia