This is a cute little poem, and I like the overall feel of it. The repetition of colors is nice touch. I think of Draco and Hermione when I read this. Maybe because I’ve seen a lot of that pairing lately, but is it meant to be them?
I’m not that keen on the format of this poem. Each new line of poetry is meant to start with a capital letter, even if it’s a continuation from a previous sentence. You have stanzas that don’t even start with a capital letter. That just looks strange.
The flow is also a bit awkward. Personally, making a poem flow right is very difficult for me, but it’s one of the most important things about poetry. Poetry is meant to sound in sync when you read it. I don’t get that feeling with this poem. The lines just don’t seem to fit together to make a musical sounding poem.
Overall, I like the idea, but I think the format could use some more work.
Bravo! I thought this was great! But just one question...is this about Draco and Hermione or Draco and Ginny?
Who's it about? At first I thought Lily/Scorpius...but it's Draco/Ginny, isn't it?