I happen to read this on Memorial weekend! I think that pretty much says it all, an how can I follow up your poem with my harsh, terse comments? They just don't do your story justice!
But you captured the battle so well, and I especially like the last two lines, where it says that we still live on, continuing to push forward, even though we've had heavy losses. It's a great message for everyone to have. :)
Author's Response: Thank you, once again for reading and reviewing. Ah, what a day to read this poem on! I'm honoured you liked the message. :)
Ooooh, this was really good! You didn't seem to make things too metaphorical to the point of cheesiness, but you use eloquent language so that it sounded like legit poetry and not some ten year old rhyming basic words ;) Well done!
Author's Response: Lol! Love this review to bits. Thanks, and I am sorry for being a twat and replying so late. I genuinely forgot to do it. ~Natalie
Nice one, Natalie! I like the rhyming, because I like poems that rhyme, of course. They trip lightly over the tongue, even when they are dark and sad like this. I like how it tells the story so chronologically too - it sums up the battle perfectly.. And it was a lovely ending, looking toward hope but mourning the dead.
Oh, and I loved the shout-out to Neville. :D
Author's Response: I fail at responding to reviews. >.< Thank you for reading and reviewing, Gina. I had a feeling you'd like this because of the rhyming. :D ~Natalie
Then came the hour of dark despair, The Boy Who Lived was now no more; Yet Neville swung his mighty Sword, And brought hope back to the fore.
Gah, never quite thought of it like that. Despite seeing harry dead, Neville carried on fighting.
I think I love him.
Natalie, this is a great poem. It flows exceptionally well and the tension holds throughout the poem. Well done. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Gods, I fail. :( I forgot about these reviews. Thanks for the read and review! I love Neville, too. ~Natalie