So sad, but beautiful. And very well written.
I like how you built it all from the beginning, following the progression of his life and their relationship. I maybe would have liked a little more dialogue with Marlene, just because we don't know her as well.
Author's Response: Thanks for this lovely review! I'm glad you liked it... this is actually one of my least favourite stories of the ones I've written, I think it could have done with quite a bit more work, and I see what you mean about Marlene, she could have featured more. But thanks for reading and reviewing! ~Katrina
This story was excellent! I especially loved the way that you mentioned all the facts we know about the Marauders from canon but you didn't dwell on them, thereby making it a fresh and original fic.
Poor Remus :(
Author's Response: Thanks so much for this lovely review! I tried to show a slightly different side of the Marauders to how they're usually presented in fanfic, so I'm glady ou thought it was original! I agree about the poor Remus... a lot of things go wrong for him. Thanks again for reviewing. ~Katrina
Wow! That's so sad. And it's sweet, how Remus went for her immediatley. It explains why he didn't want to marry Tonks.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it, though it is sad (I think a lot of Remus' life is sad), and I always thought there was another reason he was so tentative with Tonks - apart from the fact he was a werewolf. Thanks again for reviewing! ~Katrina
I must say, Katrina, that when I first saw the summary and read "Remus/Marlene" I almost didn't click on it, because I'm a firm Remus/Tonks shipper. It's always been Remus/Tonks, tbh, but I do enjoy the occasional guilty pleasure of Remus being with someone else. It makes a nice change :)
I thought that the story's pacing was a bit...hmm. I don;t mean this in a bad way, but I kind of felt that while it wasn't rushed, at times, things went a little too fast or too slow. I also felt that since this was meant to be a romance fic, you barely focused on Remus, and spent more time on the other Marauders, which struck me as a little strange.
But they were just little things, and overall I thoroughly enjoyed reading this fic. I'm glad you didn't get Remus to reveal all to Marlene and Lily about him being a werewolf, because that would just spoil things, to be honest, and it's quite cliched to do that. I also found it fascinating that you didn't use the whole SexGod!Sirius cliche, even though I've got a soft spot for that cliche, since I Siriusly do love him :D
I also liked Remus' uncertainty about having a girlfriend. That's very Remus-like, especially because he was quite insecure about being a werewolf and everything. Peter was portrayed well, and not Bedwetting!Peter or Loser!Peter or Can'tGetGirls!Peter, because they're all my pet peeves at the moment. I think he was probably that "fat little boy" when he was younger, so I liked your take on how he became more attractive as he grew up.
I did hesitate upon reading that Sirius told the Marauders about kissing Alexa. I mean, girls do it, because they're girls, but sure guys just like to mind their own business in that ballpark? I know you did get Remus to say that that was enough in terms of details, but still, I think it's unlikely that Sirius would tell his friends about it, considering how haughty he could be at times (or, you could say, arrogant) he wouldn't really want to tell his friends about an embarrassing first kiss. But yeah. That's just what I think :)
I wanted to leave you a review as a thank-you for reading and reviewing every posted chapter of Checkmate within the space of a day. I don't know how you did it (I spent three weeks reading all of Alex/welshdevondragon's Thin Red Lines) but I'm very grateful for your reviews, because they mean a lot. So thank you, and well done, and I hope this review puts a smile on your face as much as your reviews did to me :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much for this long and detailed review, Soraya! I'm definitely a Remus/Tonks shipper, too, but this idea came to me, and it doesn't exclude Remus/Tonks, so I thought I'd write it. I think a lot of your points are valid. To be honest, this was a very rushed story, because I knew I'd be busy and wouldn't have time to fix it up properly for a while and I prefer to finish things... if that makes sense... I'm now considering deleting it and re-writing it. Perhaps I'll re-write it more as a Marauder Era fic, because I think you're right, I focus too much on the other Marauders for this to be purely a Remus/Marlene. In a way, though, I think Remus would be very influenced by what his friends thought and believed. I'm glad you liked my characterisations of Sirius and Peter - I tried to make them a bit different. Particularly Peter, because I don't really like how in a lot of fics he seems like a loser or someone that the Marauders don't trust, even at Hogwarts. I think that's unlikely, because James and Lily (and Sirius) trusted him with their lives... so it must have come from somewhere. I wrote him like that because I think above all he admires and wants to be like James, and James couldn't get Lily so Peter was trying to prove that at least in some things he was better than James. I'm not sure about Sirius telling about the kiss... (I've never been a teenage boy lol). I think Sirius is the kind of person who hides his own insecurity by being loud and telling people more than he should. So by telling his friends this, he knows he'll put them on the back foot because they'll be embarassed and he won't have to think about the fact that he feels he failed with girls or something like that. Which is why I had James looking at him, able to read him, because James knows that Sirius has this underlying insecurity. Anyway, I'll definitely think about cutting that bit... Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'm glad you appreciated my reviews on Checkmate. ~Katrina