This is a wonderful idea for a story. You're dealing with harsh issues here - the harshest, infact - and intertwing them pretty darn well with the Potterverse.

Your style and use of language is very good and the scene setting at the beginning is so intense. I was immediately brought right into the story and the atmosphere.

there were one or two places where I thought the phrasing a bit clumsy.

But she was a Jew, and Jews were not welcomed there any longer, by the influence of Grindelwald. I think this should either be 'by the order of Grindelwald, if he's in charge. Or 'under Greindelwalds influence. I'm also not sure about the comma before 'by' but I'm not going to argue with the redoubtable Kara!

She knew the war had Grindelwald’s influence, but she had not considered the extent to which magic may be involved. This didn't make sense to me. 'had been influenced by Grindelwald, perhaps? I'm understand what you're saying, but I think there's a missing word somewhere. (Just not sure what.)

I am very intrigued by the wizard turning up at the end and have no idea who it is (unless it's Tom Riddle). I look forward to reading more. This really is a good story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much :D You're so very helpful and lovely :D