MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
03/11/13 3:06 · For:
Aww...poor teddy. Very well written! I could imagine him going to the shrieking shack, though I never thought of it before.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for posting a review! I think Teddy would feel really connected to the shrieking shack, because in my head canon, Harry would have told Teddy everything about his parents (so Teddy didn't have the hero complex problem Harry had with his own father), so Teddy would have felt especially connected to his father in the shrieking shack. I'm glad that was believable. Thanks again for reviewing!
(Signed) · Date:
07/03/12 19:22 · For:
Wow. You did a really good job with Teddy and Victoire. I haven't read many fics or books in second person, but this was really well written. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks very much for the review, I"m glad you liked my characterisations. I really like writing in second person, but I know a lot of people don't like it much, so I'm glad you liked that too. Thanks :)
(Signed) · Date:
11/20/11 21:29 · For:
First off, thanks so much for the wonderful review on All That's Left, and I felt I should try to thank you by reading this.
It was marvelous. I loved your personification of Teddy. It seemed real, that he could be so strong yet so sad at the same time. I love that you told it from Victoire's POV, and that made it even more emotional. I love the Teddy Era, and I felt the way you wrote his sadness was perfect. You took the reader through the entire journey of his life, and I really love the Teddy/Victoire ship. It must have been horrible for Teddy, growing up and never knowing his parents. It only makes sense that would eat at him sometimes. It was really well written.
My favorite moment in the fic was when Teddy was sitting in the Shack. Every emotion just hit me, and in truth I am sitting here with my eyes starting to water. It was really well written. :)
I hope this was helpful, but I really loved it. I always feel a strong connection to Teddy as he and I would be the same age. :) Thank you so much for your review, and I really love this songfic. The title fits it perfectly.
Author's Response: Hi Ellie,
Thanks so much for this review!! It really made my day! And sorry I'm not getting back to it til today.
I'm glad you liked this story, it's one of my favourite ones of the ones I've written. Like you, I'm drawn to Teddy, thought not because of age - I think he does parallel Harry in some ways, but he also makes me think of Neville - and yet I also think there's a side of him which is always outgoing and willing to play with his almost family, because having never had a family he really values it.
It's funny how I decided to write this... I really wanted to write a songfic with a Starkid song, and then the story just flowed, even though the song is actually a Harry/Ginny song. Somehow I find it easier to write about Teddy from a different person's perspective.
I'm glad you liked the bit in the Shack - I think Teddy really would have a strong connection to that place.
Thanks for this lovely review!!
(Signed) · Date:
08/13/11 8:24 · For:
Aw, this is so sweet! Love it
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading and reviewing!
(Signed) · Date:
05/14/11 5:28 · For:
Hi Katrina! I know I promised you a ginormous review a while back, so I'm sorry it took so long. I blame it on RL — exams and revision and exams and revision and...you get my drift.
This story was a lovely way for me to have a break, so I'm glad I chose your story to read and review. Teddy/Victoire, while not being my OTP, has always had a special place in my heart, and I was very happy that you kept him paired with Victoire. What annoys me is when people ship Teddy with anyone except Victoire, because I honestly can’t think of anyone except her to be with him.
I think I’ll get the nitpicks out of the way first, and then I shall ladle on the praise.
I saw your friends there, and I went to wave to you, but there was no sign of your turquoise hair.
It took a couple of reads of that sentence and then the next one to figure out that you meant Teddy wasn’t there at all. At first, I thought Teddy was there, just not with turquoise hair. I think it’s better if you have the sentence like this:
I saw your friends there, and I went to wave to you, but you weren’t there.
Or something like that, anyway. Just...I got the wrong impression, that’s all.
“I wonder what it was like for him to be here, all alone, scratching himself to bits, trapped inside a monster.”
I paused at this. Surely Remus did more than scratching himself? I was under the impression that Remus bit himself, not just scratched. That sounds like a bit of an understatement, to be honest, so I would suggest changing it to something a bit...stronger.
Also, the way you sometimes used Victoire’s family’s names — like Harry and Fred. I kind of feel like she’d refer to them as Uncle Harry and Uncle Fred. But maybe that’s just me, because I come from an Asian family and we have to address our elders by their titles and not their names — as in, aunty, uncle, etc.
But they’re tiny, tiny things that don't even really need changing, because what overrides my nitpicks is the style and the thoughtfulness in this piece. Lately, I've actually been getting into second person, and since you’ve pulled off second person before, flawlessly, may I add, I wasn’t apprehensive when I saw it was written in that way. And I kind of think that it wasn’t exactly in second person since you used “I”, but I'm not an expert on this kind of thing. Whatever the style is called, you made brilliant use of it.
I really like how you began it, because it just made it sound more real, the way you used just the one word at the beginning. And the way Victoire addressed Teddy throughout the story was just in such a loving and caring way. It really was like they were meant to be. The way she listed the events, how she realised why Teddy was so special to her and why she loved him...it was beautiful, honestly.
In fact, this story has a poetic quality to it, an almost lyrical one, and it’s got nothing to do with being based on a song. It’s just the words you’ve chosen and the questions Victoire asks that make me just go “Aww” every time. And the way Victoire tries to assure Teddy that he's been through so much and that he doesn’t have to live up to Harry, and that he’s her hero...that was just so sweet.
If there was one thing I could change in DH, it’s Remus and Tonks’ deaths. It really made me cry, and it saddened me to know that Teddy would be brought up an orphan, just like Harry. In the same way, though, I can’t imagine what Teddy’s life would be like if he had his parents, any more than I can imagine Harry’s life with his parents. Victoire is definitely one wise girl, and you portrayed that beautifully.
I loved how Teddy’s hair became mousy when he was upset. That’s just so incredibly Tonks, and it was a lovely tribute to her, so I smiled when you put that in. I also really appreciated that Victoire didn't make a big hoo-ha when Teddy was crying. Boys/men cry — it’s a fact. It’s far from a miracle, I can tell you, so I was very, very glad when you had him as a normal boy, or as normal as you could get, given who his parents were.
Thank you very much, Katrina, for your lovely, lovely reviews, your much-needed criticism, the praise you give me that I never, ever deserve and most importantly, for writing stories like these, which touch my heart and make me remember why I bother writing/reading fanfiction.
P.S. I'm sorry if you got two notifications for this review. First time round the formatting was messed up, so that's why.
Author's Response: Soraya, this was such a lovely review!! It really made my day!! And sorry about the slightly late response...
I have changed the first thing about Teddy's hair - I wasn't thinking about the fact that he could change it instantly when I wrote that sentence.
As for Remus - I think you're right, I didn't really capture how terrible it was... I have tried to fix it, but I still don't think it's great. Somehow it works though, because it's in Teddy's dialogue and he really can't imagine what it was like for his father... if that makes any sense. But thanks for the comment.
With the family names - this was something I actually thought about quite a lot. I'm not sure if you missed it, but in her direct speech, Victoire refers to "Uncle George". I didn't use it in the body of the text because even though I was using Victoire's voice, I wanted to focus on Teddy, and I don't think he would say uncle/aunty. Plus since I mentioned Harry quite a few times, it just sounded a bit clunky saying "Uncle Harry" repeatedly. But it was certainly a valid question.
I have no idea what this style is called, I just like playing around with different perspectives and tenses. In this case, it really came from the song. But thanks for saying that I've pulled off second person before and that whatever the style I used in this is called worked for this story as well. I have to say, I was a little bit apprehensive about it. I wrote this story in about 1-2 hours, and even though it's one of my least read, it's almost the most reviewed of all my stories.
I'm glad you liked the opening - not wanting to sound arrogant, but I do too. I think it contrasts well with the title, and it captures Teddy's emotion. I'm glad you found Victoire loving and caring and that her and Teddy fit so well together. Teddy's a character who I've always felt drawn to, and I just love the idea of him officially becoming a part of the Weasley clan, which presumably he has grown up as a part of. And I think Teddy would be one of those people who never realises how much he means to others. Mostly because his father was like that and Harry is like that, and I think in a slightly different way Tonks is too. This is also why I think he would think that he shouldn't complain or grieve, because he has it so much better than Harry did.
That you say that it's beautiful and lyrical really means a lot. I agree, Remus and Tonks' deaths are tragic, but you're right, I can't imagine Teddy not being an orphan. I'm glad you thought Victoire wise - I think seeing someone you deeply care about try to bottle up their pain when they have every right to feel it would be quite heart-wrenching. And yes, I agree. Boys/men certainly cry, though perhaps not as often as some females. And I don't think Victoire would have any weird ideas about it not being manly to cry... after all, she just really cared about Teddy.
I'm so glad that you enjoy my reviews, yours are certainly helpful and I love seeing your name appearing in my inbox. You've really given me very high praise in this story, and I can't think I deserve it. So thanks.
Also, if you read Gina's reviews below, I am thinking of writing a companion to this story from Teddy's point of view. So look out for that.
(Signed) · Date:
04/20/11 23:59 · For:
Name: Equinox Chick
I have never read Teddy/Victoire this way. It was an interesting and refreshing take.
You know, I don't really favour second-person POV - can't write it well either. But it was done nicely here. It almost sounds like Victoire is with Teddy, and thinking about this, not saying it out loud.
One thing that intrigued me about your characterisation was Victoire's Veela-temper. I tend to see her as a female version of Bill, cool and collected, and now I am thinking: why? I think it's reasonable to expect some hot-headedness from Fleur's daughter.
Teddy was great. I do think of him as a guy who doesn't shy away from crying. That scene in the Shrieking Shack was sad, though. :( I felt somewhat teary when he thought of his father's transformation.
All in all, I enjoyed reading this. Hope to read more from you soon!
Author's Response: Hi Natalie,
Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it and thought it refreshing and interesting! That means a lot.
I actually like second person a lot, I quite like trying out different perspectives and tenses, but this one sort of came from the song. So you're right, it's like she's thinking these things when she's with him.
I've read a lot of interpretations of Victoire - some where she's just like Fleur and some where she's quite different. To me, being a Weasley and part Veela, she'd probably have a temper (because even though Bill is calm and collected, the rest of his family aren't quite so good at staying calm). I think she's probably fiercly loyal and very protective of Teddy because of how much he's suffered. In a way it's like how Molly treats Harry, though obviously different because that's a mother/son sort of relationship, but that kind of thing anyway.
I'm glad you liked Teddy, I've always been drawn to him as a character because Remus and Tonks are great characters and he is, in many ways, mirroring Harry. I think he would go to the Shrieking Shack, because it's a physical place which he can connect particularly to his father.
I'm glad you enjoyed this! I hope to keep writing, I'm currently about halfway through my first Marauder-era fic, so hopefully that will be up soon.
(Signed) · Date:
04/19/11 11:16 · For:
Aww this is so sweet. I love this look at teddy's life. Although he had Harry and Andromeda, it cracks me up that he never had Remus and Tonks who remain my favourite characters in the book. I still rail at JK for offing them.
I was intrigued by the POV, because at first I thought you were writing second person - which isn't one I like much, but the first person and the fact it was Victoire was lovely.
Great fic ~Carole~
Author's Response: Hi Carole,
Thanks so much for reading/reviewing one of my fics!! I'm glad you thought it was sweet and I did justice to Teddy. I think he would feel guilty about being lonely and missing his parents, because he has Andromeda and Harry and so he shouldn't complain, so that's what I was trying to show here. I know, Remus and Tonks are great characters, I was pretty upset when they died too.
I'm glad you liked the perspective - I sort of did it in a mixture of first and second person because it follows the song. Although personally I actually really like stories in second person haha.
(Signed) · Date:
04/19/11 4:39 · For:
Sweet story nicely written. Really liked how you wrote it from Victorie's POV.
Author's Response: Thanks for leaving a review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story and Victoire's perspective.
(Signed) · Date:
04/18/11 21:21 · For:
i actually wasn't expecting it to be Harry/ Ginny, i just dont read much harry/ Ginny. I'm more of a Dramione person. thats why i love AVPS better that AVPM and why Granger Danger is my favorite song. My friends say i also have the personality of Hermione, because my nose is always in a book. this review had nothing to with the book, i just needed to get it off my chest.
Author's Response: Thanks for the slightly off-topic review lol. I only said you might have expected Harry/Ginny because the song is Harry/Ginny. Personally I don't like non-canon pairings... so I don't think you'll be seeing any Dramione on my author's page anytime soon.
(Signed) · Date:
04/18/11 20:45 · For:
i LOVE AVPM and AVPS!!!! I drive my family crazy singing Granger Danger and Get Back to Hogwarts. Anyway, now that that's off my chest, i wanted to say that this is the best songfic i have seen! It was confusing at the beginning, but it slowly made more sense.
Author's Response: I'm glad someone else loves AVPM and AVPS! I love all the songs, they're all very clever and funny, but "Not Alone" is one of my favourites because it's just such a great song. I suppose you were probably expecting the story to be Harry/Ginny, not Teddy/Victoire. Thanks for saying it's the best songfic you've ever seen! That means a lot! I hope you didn't find it too confusing... was that the perspective?
Anyway, thanks for reviewing,
(Signed) · Date:
04/18/11 20:08 · For:
I loved it. It was simple and beautiful it was sad and sweet I really l think it was perfect
Author's Response: Thanks for such a lovely review, I'm glad you really enjoyed it. I'm very honoured that you think it's perfect!
(Signed) · Date:
04/18/11 19:28 · For:
I read your response and had to say - good point about Teddy seeing the similarities between him and Harry, and then trying not to complain because his upbringing was so much better. And yet, he has every right to feel pain and sadness!
I'm curious - did he learn about the Shrieking Shack from Harry? Do you think Harry told him everything about the Marauders, ie the Animagus bit. Just curious. :)
"I hadn't thought about writing another one-shot about that scene, but now you've put the idea in my head, I might... In my mind, that was when Teddy realised it as well - as in, they had probably both had feelings but not really thought about them much and it came together in that scene."
Ooooh, that sounds great, the idea that this is when Teddy realizes as well. You've set it up so nicely here, please do write it! I've read a few Teddy/Victoire things but a scene like that would just be so romantic and emotional. Heck, I could see a short chaptered fic! ;) I like how down-to-earth your Victoire seems, since I often read her as a copy of Fleur. And I really liked your vulnerable Teddy. I want him to be happy now. Good luck if you continue with them!!
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing again! I think Harry would have told Teddy as much as he knew about Remus and Tonks (and thus the Marauders, too) because in his own childhood he constantly wanted to know more about his parents (for example in HBP, when he hoped that the prince was his father). Another reason is that Harry wouldn't want Teddy to have misconceptions (like in OotP, when Harry saw what his father was like as a teenager, and that his mother seemed to hate him, it really bothered him, because he didn't know the full story), so I imagine that Harry would have told Teddy the good and the bad (although probably mostly the good) of his parents.
Hmm... maybe I'll write another story from Teddy's point of view. I'm not that good at writing longer stories, though, so it'll probably just be a one-shot.
The Fleur we see in canon is I think how she presents herself to protect herself, because underneath she's just as vulnerable as everyone else. Obviously Bill saw more to her than the surface, and I think we see a bit of that at the end of HBP and in DH as well, particularly when the trio are at Shell Cottage. I think Victoire would still be more down-to-earth than her mother, though, because she has been brought up in the Weasley clan, and while she may have a French name, she's still a Weasley. Plus she's the oldest Weasley, which can't have been easy, because when she got to Hogwarts everyone would have known her name and had certain expectations, plus I imagine it would be hard to be the oldest of the next generation... she probably feels like being a Weasley defines her, rather than letting it just be a part of her.
Anyway... I have to go now, thanks for reviewing again!!
(Signed) · Date:
04/18/11 17:30 · For:
That was very sweet yet poignant and sad at the same time. I liked the way you approached it, almost a mix between first and second point of view. Victoire's voice (it was her, right?) came through clearly by the end and was lovely and sincere in her love for Teddy. Teddy's sadness was also very real, and yet you also gave him a bit of hope and light as well.
My favorite part was the part about the Shrieking Shack. Although I wasn't exactly sure why she smacked Teddy's friend, I could still picture her asking about him, running out after him, and finding him in the Shrieking Shack. What a powerful place for him to go and mourn! I really liked that scene and think it would make another nice one-shot. Were they together before then, or was that perhaps when Teddy realized it as well?
Lovely story for Teddy, Katrina! I enjoyed reading it. :)
Author's Response: Hi Gina,
I'm so honoured that you (as in one of my favourite authors on Mugglenet) took the time to review one of my fics, and that you enjoyed it too!
The perspective really came from the song, and I thought it would be fun to try out something new. (Yes it was Victoire's voice.) This is the first story I've written about Teddy, but he is a character I've always been drawn to... in many ways, he's like Harry - having to grow up without his parents and never really understanding what they died for. And I'm sure he would see that connection to Harry, and think he shouldn't complain because at least he doesn't have to put up with the Dursley's and there are heaps of people who love him.
I'm glad you liked the part in the Shrieking Shack - Victoire slapped Teddy's friend because she was angry that he had just left Teddy, and she feels that Teddy shouldn't have to be alone. It is an overreaction, but I sort of wanted to show how much she feels for him... plus she has a bit of a temper. I think the Shrieking Shack would be somewhere that Teddy somehow feels closer to his parents, or where he feels like he can be alone with them. I hadn't thought about writing another one-shot about that scene, but now you've put the idea in my head, I might... In my mind, that was when Teddy realised it as well - as in, they had probably both had feelings but not really thought about them much and it came together in that scene.
Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it!