I like this a lot! I saw your authors page and want you to know that I don't ship G/D H/D either.
Author's Response: I'm sorry I'm so late in responding to this review; usually I'm a lot more on the ball, but I haven't checked Mugglenet in a long time and I'm just getting back to it. I'm glad you like this story, it was my first. And I'm also glad that you, like I, are one of the few that stick with the cannon pairings. =)
that was really sweet :-D
Author's Response: Thank you. I didn't know if it would be sweet....a friend of mine thought it kind of ansty....I like your take on it better...=)
I tottaly loved it
Author's Response: Thanks!
I loved this story. On a list of my favorite stories, it would probably be number 3 or 4.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Your reveiw means a lot to me!
Lovely!! I really enjoyed this. Keep on writing!!
Author's Response: Thanks! And I will! This is only the first fic that got posted, I have way more!
Loved it !
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm really glad you took the time to review!
Generally I think this was a good story. Your characterisation of Hermione was good - I think she would be ashamed of her scars and it would be hard for her to move past them. I wonder if perhaps you could have included a bit of how mentally she was coping? As in, something like mentioning how it's painful to remember or something like that. Anyway, that's not important. You pick up on a good point that we often forget what the rest of the characters went through while the trio were off Horcrux hunting. Personally I suspect that Ginny would have a fair few scars too from her 6th year at Hogwarts.
I liked the interaction between Hermione and Luna. I think in canon they're sort of opposites, in the way that Hermione requires everything to be logical and to be proved and Luna will accept anything, so I thought it was nice to tie them in together. I really liked your perspective, that people being tortured was a distraction from killing other people. I think that's very fitting, especially for these characters, as they both sacrificed so much for others.
To me this line Hermione, in her self-centered greif, didn't remember that she was not the only one ever to suffer. didn't quite fir the tone of this piece, as mostly you were writing from inside Hermione's head, and this is very definitely a comment from an omniscient narrator. I also think it's self-evident from your previous sentences. (Also, it's grief not greif.)
Another nitpick - when writing dialogue, if you start a new paragraph you should put a quotation mark at the start of it, even if it's a continuation from the previous paragraph.
I wondered about how Luna laughs at Hermione's outburst - I can't really see that. I think it would be more in character if she were to smile serenely in her sort of way... but laughing didn't seem right.
The door clicked, and Hermione turned away from Ginny’s mirror. She didn’t need to see her face. I really liked this sentence, it worked really well as an idea for the story.
The scene at the end with Ron was well-written too, especially the last line, although I wonder if putting this in Ron/Hermione category is really the right place? After all, to me it's not really a romance between them... yes I know it's set on their wedding day, but the focus is more about moving on after the war. Perhaps Post-Hogwarts would be a better category.
Anyway... sorry I have gone on rather a lot in this review, I think this is a great story, particularly for your first fic :).
Author's Response: Don't be sorry, I really appreciate the constructive critizism. Thanks especially for the spelling help. (I need way more help than a pointer). I wrote almost the whole thing in Word, and only added grief as a second thought when submitting. The line about Hermione from an omniscient narrator, I actually was trying to write it in third Person, and it's not supposed to be 'in her head', it's more supposed to be from an omniscent narrator. Apparently that didn't work out so well.... I do think, however, that the story does belong in Ron/Hermione, because the whole time she's worrying about what Ron will think when he sees her scars, she's afraid he'll dump her. About Ginny having scars, I do think she would have scars, but Hogwarts had Madam Pomfrey, and I think Madam Pomfrey would have fixed her up. About Luna's laughing tendency, I think that she could have smiled, or she could have laughed. She almost died laughing about Goyle looking like a 'baboon's backside'. However, I know that Hermione and Luna's relationship is touchy at best, and I had Luna laugh because I wanted the readers to remember that they are very different. In other words, I knew it wouldn't be Hermione upset without some screaming. I didn't even notice I made a dialouge mistake, (oops!) because dialouge is not my thing. I can't write dialouge that well, because I don't know the other characters beside my main one that well. Sorry if I make any more dialouge mistakes, because apparently it wasn't so atrocoius that the mod wouldn't submit it. Thanks for all your nitpicks though, I'm kinda new to writing fanfiction. Thanks for what you thought of it, and don't worry, I have way too many stories coming soon....
Good first fic, I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Author's Response: Thanks! It is my first fic to be posted, but I have way more that are still waiting! Your reveiw means a lot, I'm still kind of new to writing fanfiction.
I'm sure people will like your stories!! Interested in reading others :)
Author's Response: I hope so! Thanks again. I'm working on a couple and a couple are waiting to be validated!
I thought this was a very good story! Nice job!!
Author's Response: Thanks! This is my first published fic, I'm working on lots more! I didn't know how people would like it, so your reveiw means a lot. You're my first reveiwer ever!