I got that the second was probably Ginny and the third Hermione, but I'll have to keep working on the first. Anywho, I enjoyed reading this alot. You did a good job depicting mood and emotion as well as setting. *applauds*
Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. My intended brides were Narcissa, Molly, and Hermione. Narcissa is a depiction of how things used to be, with pure-blooded girls being married off in advantageous matches, Molly because she was marrying for love despite knowing she'd always be poor, and Hermione to show the relief that life could go on as normal after the war.
Anyway, again, thanks for dropping a line. :)
I can't believe I missed this on the Recents list! It's really lovely. The rhythm is spot on, it flows beautifully. I love the repeating last line, it really connects the "stories" of each of these brides. I have to admit I looked at the reviews to find the answer to who they might be (sorry, I'm lazy, lol) and I think it works really well for each of them.What made you chose those three? I'm just curious. Great poem - you really are a strong poet, even if you don't think so!! *hugs* ~Gina :)
This is written in ballade form, so the repeating last line is sort of the *thing* it's supposed to do. I could have kicked myself for picking the dumbest rhyming word set for the most often repeated one, but I cheated here and there and it sorted itself out... thank Merlin.
I thought of those three because I'm a failed human being. DX I wrote the poem and tried to work out which bride was which by what I had already written. The first was always supposed to be Narcissa and the last one one of the Trio Era brides, showing the tides of change and how certain things weren't an issue anymore. The rest was supreme BS and fudging on my part. Yes, I am really that shoddy, lol.
Heart you, Twin. Thanks for reading!
I think it's Hermione, Ginny, and Audrey or Angelina!
What I had in mind was Narcissa, Molly and then Hermione. The first one is of a bride in an expensive dress, which none of the Weasley brides (maybe save for Fleur) would find necessary. And then Molly was wearing a home-made gown because she's not the richest girl who is marrying the not-so-rich Arthur, and then Hermione, who dealt with prejudice due to her blood status quite a bit in the series. It also is meant to show the way things change from generation to generation, of how some of the things that might've been on a bride's mind one decade might finally be resolved in latter years.
Anyway, thanks for the review. :)
That was beautiful. The flow was mesmerizing, as with the brides’ thoughts.
To be honest, I thought all of the stanzas were of only one perspective, but as I read your ending note, it’s apparently from three different brides. For some unknown reason, I rather liked it not knowing and not guessing. The simplicity of it being anonymous makes it more beautiful for me. But since you made it out to be a challenge, I read it again and again, trying to find out who those three brides are.
The first stanza: I’m thinking Astoria. I don’t know anyone else who is of the same generation as of the Trio who can afford that much and dread her wedding day. Perhaps it’s just my stereotyping of purebloods wedding not for love. I loved the first stanza the best. I thought it was absolutely amazing how you worded the first four lines. I’m thinking of more good adjectives and clever similes to describe how I found it utterly beautiful, but I can’t think of proper ones that would adequately justify what I feel right now. It’s my vocabulary – not very much updated. I think the reason why I’m in love with those lines is because it had that old, vintage feel like those poets from way back (like Yeats, Shakespeare, or Browning). It was tricky, graceful, and clever.
The second stanza: I’m confident that it’s Ginny. Homemade gown—not enough money then, or just big on sentimentality (which is famous around close-knitted families). Couldn’t be Molly since I can’t think of any ‘obstacles that never cease’ that is strong enough to fit into that description. So it must be Ginny. Her relationship with Harry has been mostly covered with obstacles. She was hindered by her own shyness, then Cho Chang, then the war itself. I loved the whole stanza, but not as much as I do for the first one. Ginny’s current state, not just being a bride, was clearly said. It was like it wasn’t only Harry and her, but her and everything that’s been her. Brilliant words again, beautiful flow.
The third stanza: Hermione, of course! I mean if the part about the family trees relating to blood wasn’t obvious enough, I don’t know what is. Again, it was beautiful how you summed her wedding day up as something an achievement from all the trials and tribulations. It was like Ginny’s but more profound.
I loved everything. I think that’s the best thing to say. Unfortunately, I’ll have to cut this short since my mom is calling me up for bed time. I’ll continue this to AIM, if ever I’ll catch you. Thanks for writing this, Jess. It was beautiful (if you didn’t catch that already).
Oh, Dinny, how I have so failed you.
I read this review on my phone during a break at work, telling myself to respond when I got home. Guess what I forgot to do... *facepalm*
First off, idiocy disclaimer aside, I would like to smother you with adulation for your lovely review. Your tone was great, and def spew quality. It's really difficult to review something like poetry, and I think you did really well in that regard.
To be perfectly honest, your guesses for which bride was which weren't quite what I'd had in mind, but your idea actually makes more sense. For my intended brides, I had Narcissa, Molly, and Ginny planned as the brides before I started writing. I still believe that Narcissa is the correct choice because in my mind, she entered into a politically aligned marriage and ended up growing to love her husband after the fact. Of course, being a veritable princess fo the House of Black, she would have the best wedding gown that Galleons could buy.
For the second bride, I really intended Molly, since because Ginny married Harry, who had both a job and a fair sum of gold in Gringotts already, could have afforded to provide his bride to be with a nice dress. Getting her to take any sort of money from him would've been a different matter, hehe. Molly, on the other hand, married a relatively poor guy, and since nothing is really known about her premarital finances, we can assume that she was of like stock. The struggles in their relationship were because of the rapidly declining political climate and the rise of the Death Eaters' ranks. Social upheaval always does put a hamper on trying to get married. :/
The third bride was supposed to be Ginny, but looking back, I don't know what I was thinking, save for the reference to blood status meaning all of the Voldy business in general. Hermione, on the other hand, would have a far more valid reason to make such an observation. I'm glad you mentioned her as a guess, because her plugged into the scenario is just about perfect.
Thank you for your review very much, and sorry three times over for the late, late, late response. I hate being *that* author who doesn't bother to interact with reviewers.
Thank you for reading and your slightly cryptic review. :)
Happy Birthday, Teh Bookworm!!
Okay, I admit that I cheated. I looked at the other reviews before I wrote my own. ^_^ I'll be honest and admit that I was confused about the first one, though Narcissa was my slight suspicion. The second one was a toss up between Ginny and Molly for me (I thought Ginny might be wearing a dress her mother made, since I couldn't see her making one herself), and I thought the third was Hermione. I'm very impressed with the rhyme scheme you've got going, and I loved the flow. Beautiful piece!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it, and Miss Bookworm will appreciate the good wishes.
The poem was written as a ballade, which is a convoluted pain in the butt, especially with the rhyme scheme I picked, but I figured that, if Emily Dickinson can cheat on rhymes, I could too, lol.
I wanted a measure of ambiguity wiht the brides, yet still maintain an identity that, once figured out, reconciles with what you know of the character as well as the content of the poem. In fact, all of your suspicions have merit, though I would think that, unless Molly really wanted to hand-make it, Harry would just fork out the Galleons for Ginny's dress.
Anyway, thank you for the visit, and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. :)
Hi Jess (again lol),
So I don't usually read poetry... but this looked interesting, and since everything else of yours that I've read has been good, I thought I'd give it a go.
The first one... someone materialistic, who sees getting married as a pretty white dress and a comfortable future. Narcissa? I wondered about Bella too, although I can't actually imagine what she'd be like on her wedding day... it's bizarre thinking about someone to whom love means so little getting married...hence glorifying love. Anyway. I don't really think it's her, I think it's Narcissa.
The second one - I'm thinking perhaps Molly? You have a focus on family here, and I can completely imagine her in a homemade gown. It's a nice contrast to Narcissa. But if it's Molly, I wonder, what are the "obstacles that never cease"? Is it perhaps to do with the first war?
The third one seems to be someone who's been through a lot of hardship and battle... first people that come to mind are Lily or Ginny, I suppose Hermione, but someone it didn't really seem like her. But I can't decide between Lily and Ginny.
Anyway, I think you've done a great job at showing what marriage means to different people, and how their views can vary, but they are all linked by the fact that they will become a bride. I think using that line at the end of each stanza really showed that link.
So to me, even though you say you had a specific person in mind for each stanza, I think they're all representative of different perspectives in general to marriage. If that makes any sense...
As I've said, I'm not a great expert on poetry... but your rhyming and rhythm flowed really well when I read this.
I have to say, your instincts are good. I did, indeed, have Narcissa, Molly, and Ginny in mind. To me, they're all pretty much completely different. As you mentioned, Narcissa thinks of shallow things and of how her marriage would improve her lifestyle. Molly was a product of the First War political climate and was rather poor, much like she and Arthur were. Her 'obstacles' were worrying about Arthur getting involved with the war effort, as well as trying to put together a nice wedding on a shoestring budget and possibly, just maybe, having a bun in the oven. :D And then there's Ginny, who was, to be blunt, tired as hell from everything. It was her chance at a normal life for the first time since she was ten. There were no more Chamber of Secrets or diaries or Umbridges or dead professors or Death Eaters. It was relief, crammed into 64 syllables, lol.
Gahhhh, the rhyme scheme! *headdesk* It fought me like a bear with an attitude problem! The format is a ballade, which is very rigidly structured. Plus, there are very few words that rhyme with 'peace', which I never would've guessed had I not run out of ideas not derived from RhymeZone halfway in, lol. I guess you live, you learn, and you move on, hehe.
Anyway, welcome to the experience of being in my head. Strange things going on in here. :D
This is lovely :) I thought the homemade dress one was either Molly or Ginny, and the first was maybe Draco's wife, but Narcissa makes sense. Anywho, keep writing dear!
I'm glad you like it. :)
The first was meant to be Narcissa, though either Malfoy bride would fit. The second is Molly, since Ginny married Harry, who had more than enough money to buy her a dress, not to mention her own money made playing Quidditch. Plus, she was never portrayed as having domestic skills to spare that would be necessary to sew a dress (I've done it before; it's a pain!). The third bride was meant to be Ginny, but someone else pointed out that it could have been Hermione or even Andromeda, as well. I'll let you decide which fits the best. :D
Thanks for stopping in!
Hail Bookworm. *solutes* No, wait, that's me! ;D
Jess! Thank you so much! It's gorgeous! The rhyme scheme is perfect! It flows so beautifully, it's just... gah! Amazing. I'm impressed by the lack of smut/amount of fluffiness. :D
Now, for who it is.... Well, the first is obvious -- Narcissa. The second... I'm gonna go with Molly, cause of the homemade dress and the talk of family. And third, someone from the Trio era. Hermione, Ginny or Hannah, I'm thinking. Yes? No? Maybe so?
Anyway, thank you, again! This was a lovely surprise to wake up to!
Yay, you like it!
I had to stalk your review page, your author page, and your beta thread to find what you'd like the most. What I could find was family friendly and canon, canon, canon!
Your batting average is very good with the guessing. The first two are indeed Narcissa and Molly, and I had intended the third to be Ginny. However, Annie postulated that the third sounded like Andromeda, as well, so that's a possibility, as well. At any rate, it could be whichever you want.
I picked the absolute worst words for the second rhyming set (the 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 7th lines of the first three stanzas and the 1st/3rd of the last). Seriously, the only way I could've picked something like 'orange' D: I so cheated by using 'trees' and 'decrees', but it mostly rhymed, so it worked out, lol.
I'm glad you enjoyed the poem, and I hope your birthday kicked posterior!
Happy birthday to Teh Bookworm!
Jess, I like you your poems rhyme perfectly, and I don't have to double-back and say things faster or slower in my head.
OK, who are they about? I reckon the first one's Narcissa, 'cos I can so imagine her flaunting a 1000 galleon dress that's all perfect and everything. I think the third one was Andromeda, 'cos of the line about 'family trees', and how she won't let them ruin her love and all that ...
But the second one ... I dunno ... *ponders* ... someone who has a sister ...
The first one is definitely Narcissa. The second was Molly (hinted by the homemade wedding dress and being a sister and a niece. Since Sirius's parents are her aunt and uncle, she is a niece. She has brothers (Gideon and Fabian), and her being a daugher... well, duh, lol. Really, though, I picked a really stupid word set for the largest amount of rhymes. D'oh!
The third is supposed to be Ginny, but I never really thought about it. Andromeda could've been a good choice for that one, as well. The family tree reference was to signify that people could just be people again and not treated differently due to their blood status. Also, she and Harry had had their chance at a normal teenage romance stolen by the war, and she felt like, on her wedding day, she was getting some of that back.
Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and appreciated the slavery I had to endure to that rhyming set. Oh, and writing ballades is difficult! Not for the faint of heart, though a sestina would be worse.