Ah, I think I understand. The 3 words were dreams, lie, and cold, right? And each time, each word would move "down" (if you can understand what I mean...) . Am I right, or am I just observing waaaay too much? Haha, very nicely written, though!
Author's Response: Yes, you got it. The tritina form of poetry has a specific structure where you have to repeat the end words in a certain order and then write the last line using all three words. I've written another one on this site which I can't for the life of me remember the title of ... quick search ... Frozen Silence - there you go. Thank you for your reviews today, they're really making my morning. ~Carole~
I think this is rather tragic. It's just so sad to think this happens to Hannah and Neville. Are they done for good? I don't know anything about tritinas, but I'm assuming three words must repeat? As sad as they are, your three words work together perfectly. I especially like how they can have double meanings.
Very melancholy, but very well done!
Author's Response: Yes, the three words do have to repeat and in a certain order. I rather like it as a form of poetry but it can be tricky getting it to sound unforced. I feel very guilty for writing this, actually because I think Neville deserves happiness ... so perhaps their estrangement only lasted a short while.
Thank you so much for the review. ~Carole~
The poem is beautiful. I love the way you effortlessly do the jive around these villainous poetic forms. The imagery is perfect for portraying a marriage gone sour, especially the last line: Each day they lie, too cold for dreams..
My only complaint: WHY NEVILLE? Boy deserves a happy marriage. *sob*
Author's Response: I know ... I'm sorry. I didn't want him to be unhappy, but ... it was the Laureate's fault. Thank you for leavingme a review. I was nearly forced to review it myself *snort* ~Carole~