Hello! I think you have a nice little story here on a very poignant topic. You’ve done an admirably realistic job of interpreting the aftermath of these deaths on the characters who are still living. Having lost a parent, I’m familiar with the urge that children have to try and discover who their parents were and what they were like, and how the damage that one death causes in a family can affect children. I, too, have wanted to go back in time and learn about my parent when they were my age, and my grandmother also sometimes cries when I enter a room.

I also enjoyed your characterization of Teddy. He’s simultaneously mature as he observes how Andromeda handles her grief (leaving Tonks’ room disheveled, etc) and immature—a teenage boy who makes comments like the one about the “ass� in “assume.� And you’ve very subtly included traces of his mother in him, which I found very touching—his offhanded mention about his clumsiness, for example, both made me laugh and made me a little sad all at once.

There are a few tiny plot inconsistencies that I want to point out—I think you should either attempt to resolve these inconsistencies somehow, or if they’re not actually inconsistencies and I’ve just misinterpreted something, try to make it a little clearer within the narrative of the story what’s actually going on so it doesn’t appear inconsistent to other readers. First, a formatting note, everything in this story starting in chapter 2 when Tonks throws a Stupefy is italicized, so you have a broken tag somewhere that you should fix. Second, I’m a little confused how Tonks knows how she died (to save Hermione Granger). Because she hasn’t died yet, she shouldn’t know that already; it doesn’t make chronological sense. Third, Victoire says in Chapter 3 that “WE can never do this again�… why does she say “WE�? Only Teddy went back in time, not Victoire, so that pronoun was confusing to me. (Side note: I loved their interactions together and the reconciliatory interactions between Andromeda and her grandson!) Finally—this isn’t an inconsistency, but it’s something I would like to see changed—I would have loved to hear more of Tonks’ rationale for leaving behind a Time Turner in her closet. I can see her being that reckless to allow her son to someday follow her, but what did she want to achieve by him traveling back in time? Did she want to see him grown up, did she think that he needed to see her and ask her questions? What was her rationale? I think that would make the whole plot premise stronger and would characterize Nymphadora more for the readers; it would be a great way to flesh out this plot a little bit so it’s even deeper/richer.

Otherwise, you’ve really done a great, great job for your first story! I wouldn’t have ever guessed it was your first try at this. Good work, and without further ado, write on. :)

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, how did I not see this for so long? Thank you soooo much for the review! Thank you for the compliments; I've fixed the broken tag, and I think I'll change Victoire's line to "we can never go through this again", because that's more what I was getting at. As far as the backstory goes - my theory was that she'd just had them to experiment a bit, and that (given that I've always pictured Tonks as a forgetful person) she wrote a note for herself in case she forgot where they were. But I'll add something to make that clearer at some point - I'm crazy busy right now but I'll work on it soon. :) Thanks again for your review!

This was an interesting chapter and I didn't expect that to happen!! Good suspense because I've got no idea what's going to happen next.....good job and I love Teddy!

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Fantastic, I love the idea of Tonks having a couple Time Turners that weren't smashed, but then Teddy chucks it! :)

Author's Response: Like Victoire and Andromeda would have let him do anything else! :) I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reviewing!

awwww did he come at a wrong time? i vaguely remember that tonks and remus died soon after she went barreling after him.... and it would be really sad for teddy to travel all this way back only to see his parents' silent, unmoving bodies. if i am mistaken, all the better!

very interesting premise, and very interesting that tonks seemingly guided teddy to the time turner. i'm looking forward to updates! =D

Author's Response: Oh... whatever I say is going to give something away! But I will let you know that I'm not a cruel person. Hint hint. Can't wait to hear what you think of Chapter Two, it should be up any day now! Thanks for the review!