Reviews For Family Matters
Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione
Date: 08/17/11 1:10
Chapter: Barty: Crouching King To Be

Hi Lovisa,

I've been meaning to read this for a while... both because I enjoyed your Snape one-shot (was it called "Education"?) and because Alex nominated this for the Dark/Angsty QSQ.

It's a great start to a story and very unique - I don't think I've read a teenage Barty Crouch before. I loved how you created the family dynamics between him and his parents as well as all the extended family/aquaintances. It's interesting because Barty Crouch Sr is so anit-dark arts, and yet seems to be pro-pureblood, whilst we usually assosciate the two. I loved the line They say shy people make great actors. I would know. because it just highlights what you'd already shown. There's great contrast in this fic between what Barty thinks and what he does/says. I think first person is ideal for this story, as you can really highlight that contrast.

I liked the idea that Barty isn't in Slytherin as well. It really suits your characterisation of him. He also struck me as an observer, so it made perfect sense that he sat in the library watching people. Interesting that he's fascinated by seeing the difference between how people act publicly and privately. Also, it's a great narrative tool to have an observant narrator, because you showed a lot of Avery, Mulciber, Severus and Regulus' characters in this, which was interesting too.

I'm quite interested in Miranda and I hope she has future appearances. This line - It was not suitable. just perfectly shows how Barty's been brought up.

Anyway, I'll leave this review here. This is a great start, and I have to say it's incredibly impressive that English isn't your first language as well... I certainly wouldn't be able to tell from your writing.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Hello :) A huge thank you for this review; that you actually took the time to write this long review makes me so happy, so thank you, really. Yes, the Snape one-shot is called Education, glad you remember it! When I read GOF the first time all those years ago I was really touched by the Crouch family. It was all so tragic and since then I've had this backstory in my head about them... Then I realised that Barty and Regulus must have known each other as they're both roughly the same age and turned out to be DEs. Regulus from the very pro-Voldemort family who eventually changed his mind and Barty, whose father seemed to be sort of the leader for the Ministry's resistance who turned out to be a devoted follower of Voldemort's... I'm glad you liked my characterization of Barty. I thought perhaps he's too likable or at least too weak but I really think he would have been an observer. How else could he impersonate Moody so well that he even fooled Dumbledore? Anyway, don't know what to write other than THANK YOU, because it's so amazing to get this kind of a review. I hope you'll keep reading.

Reviewer: loveismagicharry
Date: 08/16/11 14:51
Chapter: Barty: Crouching King To Be

Just read the latest chapter- the way you write characters is amazing. JKR has always had a magical way of making even the bad guys real, round characters, and you do a great job of that. I never thought I would feel sorry for Bellatrix... she's so insane, brainwashed even, but you can't help but pity her! And Regulus is so relatable. Keep writing, this is fantastic.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the compliments, that's so heartwarming. I try hard with the characters so I'm very glad you think it has paid off. I hope you'll keep reading, because I won't stop writing. Thank you, again.

Reviewer: ATL Lover
Date: 08/06/11 22:08
Chapter: Barty: Today We Escape

OMG i feel soo bad for them!!!!! GREAT CHAPTER!!! cant wait for the next one!!!!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! The next chapter is in the queue! :)

Reviewer: MagicMandy
Date: 08/03/11 3:22
Chapter: Barty: Today We Escape

Excellent chapter. I didn't expect that they would actually form a relationship ( although I guess it should have been obvious), but now I think that's interesting, because they understand each other so well.

Author's Response: So glad you're still reading this! Thanks for the review! The original idea for the story was the fact that these two must have known each other at Hogwarts, since they're roughly the same age and both turn out the be Death Eaters so a lot of the plot will get moving now that they've finally got to know one another :)

Reviewer: Ascendio
Date: 08/01/11 18:12
Chapter: Regulus: Black-blooded

First of all, I love how you handle your characters. At the same time they are very relatable, (Not that I'm having the pressures of whether or not to become a Death Eater, but you know what I mean :) ) yet I love the little wizarding allusions like the clarity just before catching the snitch that Regulus experiences.

I also love how you mention how all of the Black's are full of anger, even if they all handle it in different ways because this seems very true. They all seem to contain much anger and fury, whether they bottle it or bellow it.

As of now, I'm more drawn to Regulus than Barty, Barty seems to me a little bit whiny, but maybe that's because I know with his circumstances it would be much easier for him to stay on the good side than it is for Regulus.

Also interesting to see how you have Sirius going after Regulus, with Regulus choosing to leave him behind. It's nice to think that Sirius used to actually seem to like his brother, no matter how much he scorned him later on.

Very good thus far, I'll catch up hopefully soon :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for that long, lovely review! It absolutely made my day :) I'm so glad you found it good enough to comment on! I do believe that Sirius shares a few personality traits with his mother - even though their moral beliefs are opposites. I also think that Regulus, like most little brothers, adored his older brother when very young, then start to feel shunned when Sirius grows older and start to prefer his friends to his family. That's how I remember being in my early teens (and I'm the youngest of three.) And remember that Sirius DID in fact leave his brother alone with two very "difficult" (I'll use that word for now:P) parents when Regulus was only fifteen. That must have hurt a lot, because no matter how much sibling-rivalry there might be, one does expect one's siblings to stay even if things get rough. And Regulus is just fifteen. His judgement is not fully developed yet. He might think he's leaving his brother behind, but can he really? Thanks again for the review, I hope you will read the rest... And if you do, I hope you'll like Barty better! Because he is a bit of a dramaqueen inside and he is perhaps whiny, but I really do love him anyway :)

Reviewer: ATL Lover
Date: 06/20/11 10:25
Chapter: Regulus: Crossroads

GREAT CHAPTER!!! keep up the good work!!! cant wait for the next one!! :)

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! That makes me so happy!

Reviewer: MagicMandy
Date: 06/16/11 18:18
Chapter: Barty: The Prodigal Son Returns

This is getting really good. I laughed a bit when Barty was talking to the old lady and didn't know what the bible was. Anyway, I was actually quote surprised at the end of the chapter, when Miranda told him that she 'wasn't going to drag him down with her.' I'm not saying that I think it was right for her to take him along in the first place, but i felt that telling him to go back to where he belonged redeemed her somewhat. However, it's sad that she has such a low opinion of herself. Then again, isn't that why she smokes and drinks and generally doesn't take care of herself? I really like reading this, it's so thought- provoking. The general idea of the story, again, is excellent, and the characters are really interesting me. I was just wondering, are you going to make them cross paths, or are their stories completely separate?

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you find this thought-provoking, that is a great compliment for me :) Personally, I really like Miranda and I don't think she's a bad person at all. Remember that it was Barty who wanted to come along in the first place. She believes in people making their own decisions and live with it, what she told Barty at the end of this chapter was probably one of the first times she's ever told people what to do and that's because she cared about him.... And yes, Barty and Regulus will actually meet in the next chapter (which is in the queue) and they will affect one another greatly. I hope you'll still be reading then, because as their relationship develops, so does the story. Thanks again!

Reviewer: loveismagicharry
Date: 05/22/11 12:27
Chapter: Barty: The Prodigal Son Returns

Oh, my! What a good chapter. I liked the bit with the bible- that was funny. And I really like that end quote. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you like it! As you can see I haven't updated in a while but I'm still writing so hopefully it won't be too long until the next chapter :) Thanks again!

Reviewer: ATL Lover
Date: 05/15/11 20:31
Chapter: Barty: The Prodigal Son Returns

I LOVE this storie, its so awesome to think about what happend to make barty a death eater! great storie, I hope you keep writing!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm still writing but real life is reaaallly busy at the moment... I will post the next chapter as soon as I can!

Reviewer: sblack2009
Date: 04/14/11 13:20
Chapter: Barty: Crouching King To Be

hi,

I really really loved your piece. I thought that you developed believable characters for Regulus and Barty for Family Matters, and Snape for your other piece.

I especially loved the conversations between Regulus and Sirius. I never thought of how Regulus would be impacted when Sirius left the house. The first person POV made it even better.

I hope you keep writing and finish the Family Matters piece. I can't wait to read the rest. good luck!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I will absolutely keep on writing, and I am determined to finish this. See you next time!

Reviewer: loveismagicharry
Date: 03/28/11 16:36
Chapter: Regulus: Black-blooded

Brothers don’t leave.” He looked as if I’d hit him. It satisfied me.

”I left Mum and Dad, not you.”

Sorry to post another review right away (well, you probably don't mind too much; I know what it's like to beg for reviews), but I really loved that bit. Again, great story!! Lovely descriptions, as well.

"Sure, I pitied them, but not their pride." Like the Malfoys!

"The star had resigned and there was a vacancy at the theatre. I chose to step on stage."

Author's Response: Haha, don't worry I love the encouragement! Thanks! I'm glad you like those lines, espacially the first and the last ones. They were actually among those who came first and then I went from there. Thanks for the appreciation, truly makes me happy. Hope to see you next time! :)

Reviewer: loveismagicharry
Date: 03/28/11 16:30
Chapter: Regulus: Black-blooded

"It was cruel, but beautiful. Like nature."
>Loved that!!

Lovely, again! You used the wrong "every one" once and I caught that, but really, really good. I enjoyed how unsentimental it is (in a good way, similar to Jo's, but it still manages to convey emotion, and I struggle with being too sentimental) and how relate able you make the characters. It really makes you wonder what they were like when they were all children....
Thanks and keep writing!!

Author's Response: Ah, thanks, I'll fix that. I'm glad you think it's unsentimental, because it's easy to slip into that "he's evil because he had a tragic childhood" but I still think there are reasons for these two that might explain a few choices they made... Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: loveismagicharry
Date: 03/28/11 16:25
Chapter: Barty: Crouching King To Be

Lovely! I found myself relating to Barty Jr. a lot, as he and I are shy and enjoy watching and studying people, and sometimes just want to be left alone. I can't wait to read the rest! Again, great job, thank you, and keep on dreaming and writing and scheming :D

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you like it. Barty's shyness is really a very exaggerated reflection of myself when I was younger. Thanks, I will, you too! :)

Reviewer: MagicMandy
Date: 03/27/11 18:34
Chapter: Regulus: Black-blooded

This story is pretty good. The characters you chose (Regulus and Barty) have a lot in common, which is something that I never really thought about. Anyway, nice job, and I'll be waiting for updates.
:D

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you'll like the rest..;)

Reviewer: Heiress of Marauders
Date: 03/23/11 19:07
Chapter: Barty: Crouching King To Be

I've never read anything from Barty Crouch Jr.'s POV before. I really like this so far, as it gives a more 3-dimensional portrait of him. The way he sees things is quite interesting to read.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Barty's always intrigued me, and I think the story of his family in canon is one of the most heart-breaking. Thanks again!

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