Yay, action! And Sirius has such a potty mouth. It pleases me. :D
I really admire how you've skimmed over the less important parts and kept the structure of the story limited to important events. It really allows me to stay immersed in the story (and jonesing for me, damn you) and stay in James's head.
I love James in this. He's contrite, and he's also a gentleman. His 17 year old self would probably not have been so honourable, but he was lovely. He wanted her to be her before anything happened (if that makes any sense at all), or it would have invariably ruined their relationship had her memory somehow returned.
I adored the flashes of the old Lily when confronted with Snape. It was rather reminiscentof SWM with the fire she showed.
Anyway, you will get a better review from me upon further updates. Gorgeous story, Twin!
Author's Response: Thanks, Jess! You sort of hit the nail on the head: I've skimmed over the less important parts because I intentionally wanted to just focus on a few key events. There are two more and then the story is done. That's it. I'm glad that worked for you. And I'm giggling that you actually like James. Are you joining our fan club now? If you read any of my other ones, you'll see how I beat up on him. He gets off easy in this story. ;) And Snape! So glad you liked that - so glad Lea suggested it! Thanks again for the lovely review. I do hope you enjoy how it wraps up! ~Gina :)
I couldn't take it anymore. I've been putting off reading this because I knew I'd love it and didn't want to wait for updates, and woehdvhdskfjh, I was right.
This story is fab. This is just so fresh and inspired, which could only come from someoen who's written James/Lily in more ways than is imaginable. I'm using this story as a warm-up, as well as One to Remember, to finally tackle Things Change. Even though canon isn't my thing, YOU are most definitely good at what you do. If I am to sugar my brain, only the best will do.
See you next chapter!
Author's Response: Wow, Jess! Thanks so much for coming to read this story! Given it's slightly different approach to both the characters and the style, it's probably a good one for you to start with in terms of keeping your glycemic index down, lol. Well, at least until the end. ;) Thank you for the compliments, I'm glad you enjoyed it even if it was James/Lily canon, hee hee. I appreciate the compliments, Twin! ~Gina :)
Lily is really a different person, isn't she? I wonder how she'll feel about her new life once her memory returns (or will it?)? I like the scene at Ollivander's. Ollivander recognizes that she is not the same person and so needs a different sort of wand. Interesting update. I am no Lily/Snape fan either. I am so glad she is showing no sentimentality toward him. Thanks for writing- it is always a pleasure to read your work.
Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for continuing with the story and for leaving such a nice review! I'm glad you are enjoying this different look at Lily. I'm hoping to wrap it up soon. Thanks again! ~Gina :)
Good inclusion of Snape here. That was a very exciting chapter. I do have a bit of a quibble with Snape. He seems to be in charge, and I'm not so sure he would be ... not yet. I do know he's a formidable wizard, but him giving the orders seemed a little bit off. Meh, that's my opinion and it doesn't detract at all from the story. I loved his reaction to Lily and staring into her eyes - just wow!
Your latest J/L is another winner. Very entertaining. Loved it ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thanks, Carole! Oh, I like the word 'exciting' because I was rather going for that. Didn't want things to get too mushy. Hm, I can see your point about Snape, but I see him as simply in charge of this mission, this little cell, nothing more. And he might be posturing a bit, too - puffing himself up to be more than he really is at this point. I'm glad it didn't detract too much. I just loved the idea of a confrontation between him and Lily after Lea suggested it. Thanks for reading this, I hope you enjoy the next part! ~Gina :)
Wonderful, wonderful story! Usually, I don't read stories with "Mental Disorders" that often, but this one is really amazing. Lily is a heart-wrenchingly sad character. I guess they sort of all are. I liked how you portrayed James, he's very believable. I know that it's mainly a story about James and Lily, but I think that you should add more about the other Marauders. They're a huge part of his life, so I think they should also play a bigger part in Lily and James' story as well. (Though I did like how Sirius and Remus showed up to save the day!!!) Again, great story! ~Olivia
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yes, I was worried that warning would scare people away, but it seemed needed. I'm glad you are enjoying it. I have to admit, though, that I don't think there will be much more of the others. I envisioned this as being a series of scenes between James and Lily and hadn't even planned on Snape appearing. I do hope you enjoy the rest. Thank you so much for the review, I appreciate it! ~Gina :)
Way to hate snape!! :D next chaptr plz!!
Author's Response: Ha, I'm glad you liked that part. I'm still waiting for a Snape fan to call me on it, though! Thanks for the review, I appreciate it! ~Gina :)
Loved this chapter! Please update soon. You amaze me over and over again! :3)
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and hope the next one doesn't take too long as it's halfway done already. Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
AH! amazing! please write more SOON! :DDDDDDDDD And I totally agree with you on the snape thing. he may have loved her, but they weren't meant for each other, and though Lily once loved him as a friend, it never grew to more for her.
Author's Response: Exactly! I have many thoughts about Snape, some of which come through here. I accept that they were friends, but when he wouldn't drop Dark Magic for the sake of their friendship, and instead called her a Mudblood, I see no reason why she should have stayed friends with him. He obviously made his choice, even at a young age. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
I have to admit I was a little hesitant when I saw the "mental disorders" warning on this one, but I'm glad I read it anyway. Your James is the only James there is to me at this point, and I like him here as much as ever. Lily is odd, but there is a reason... she is hardly even the same person as she has had to start over.
I see there is talk about the tense. I only stumbled over it one time: the first sentence of the section where they spend every day together "after that" read a little strange to me. But otherwise, the tense worked I think.
I like it. And I'm very interested to see where you take it. You are a writing machine, Gina. I envy the speed at which you turn new stories out. And brilliant stories, at that.
Author's Response: Hi Lori! Thanks so much for the review! Oh, I hate it when warnings throw people off. >.< But I figured I needed it since she had lost her memory. I'm glad you read it anyway, too. And I'm glad you liked it, even if it is different than some of my other stuff. What's life without changing things up a little, even my OTP? ;) I hope you enjoy where it goes. Thanks so much for the other compliments as well. *blushes* ~Gina :)
The first thing I noticed was your use of present tense. I was a wee bit worried that that might not be the best choice since it creates this kind of awkwardness, but I didn’t feel that awkwardness here at all. The story flowed extremely well with the tense – No kidding but I am really impressed! You pulled it off wonderfully! This is only the second story I enjoyed that had present tense writing. So really, good job. :D The opening was lovely; your descriptions for both Lily and James (in the opening) were. . . harmonious. It clicked—they clicked. Somehow, you managed to create a dramatic, but mellow scene that immediately starts the plot. You couldn’t have started this story better than what you did.
She smiles again, as if used to putting people at ease. "It's okay. I've lost my memory. I was in an accident, and I can't remember the last ten years."
Oooh, broke the ice right there. My first reaction was: ‘oh no, I can’t use that plot bunny anymore.’ And then this: ‘eh, she wrote it so much better anyway.’ It was awesome. In my opinion, I think you’re putting yourself in a lot risk here. I know you write mostly about Lily and James, but this story has a unique situation – Lily isn’t mad at James. So it’s almost like a rainbow that went out as a square or a rectangle. Your characterization of Lily would have to be convincing without her usual reaction to James. And you really did. Convince, I mean (bet you already knew that). She was kind, accepting, and open. Everything she was when she wasn’t being so ignorant of James. I wonder what would happen when she actually remembers their history. Would it draw them apart? And how about when Severus comes into the equation?
James was. . . James. You’ve got his character consistent throughout the whole chapter, but I’m eager to read more about him in the next ones. It would be nice to know how Hogwarts was when Lily left, including the Marauders’ reaction as well. James acted like a love-struck teenager (which he is), but I hope to see more of his ‘cheeky-and-troublemaker’ side. I understand how it would be for him – the girl he liked for years suddenly disappearing, then he abruptly sees her strolling on the streets. Even if this was written in third person, I really felt his emotions and also Lily’s confusion and sadness.
Overall, I loved how you started the story. You’ve got a very nice plot brewing, and I’m excited to read more. :D I hope you update soon!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much, Dinny! What an amazing review! This just made my day when I got it. I am so glad you enjoyed this story. I really appreciate all your comments, because writing something different is always a bit scary for me, and this was slightly different. Like you said, it is a bit of a risk, and I'm glad it's worked so far. I'm so glad the tense worked, because it just felt so right to write it this way. I do hope you enjoy the next part. It's not a story so much as a series of scenes from their time together, but I'm sort of excited about it. Thanks so much for reading and review this, I really appreciate the amazing review! ~Gina :)
Nice. This is really different but just as good as all your other stories. It is certainly very melancholy with Lily obviously looking for her past (even if subconsciously). I like how she immediately "recognizes" James. Her soul recognizes what her brain can not yet. I look forward to reading more. Thank you so much for sharing your stories.
Author's Response: Thank you, once again, for such a nice review! It is a bit different for me, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. "Her soul recognizes what her brain can not yet." Exactly! I'm so glad you picked up on that, that makes me so happy! That's exactly how I feel about these two. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Thanks again! ~Gina :)
different, unique i love it! i like how sweet james about making sure lily knows the old lily hated him. its cute so far please continue :)
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it, it is a bit different for me! Thanks so much for the lovely review, I do hope you enjoy the rest!! ~Gina :)
Looks like this is going to be a great story, adding it to my favorites now! X
Author's Response: Ooh, I hope it lives up, then! Thanks so much - I hope you enjoy the rest! ~Gina :)
This was really lovely! It's a very unusual way to show the change in James/ Lily's relationship- skipping any notion of a gradual change from hatred to friendship and then romantic involvement and instead having a whole clean slate. I love the way that you have Lily slip into using wizarding words without even noticing (because when you try to clean a slate you can never get the chalk off completely). It's very sweet the way James feels torn between what he feels he owes the old Lily and the possibility of a relationship with the new Lily. I'm intrigued by what actually happened to make her lose her memory and also by how she survived as a Muggle/ witch for a year. Surely having magical power and not having the understanding/ not actually using it must have made some things happen in her Muggle life?
I think the present tense works perfectly in this. It gives a sense of immediacy and emphasises that previous Lily/ James interaction no longer matters except what's contained within your story and the vague remembrances that Lily sub-consciously has. Sorry for a rambling/ jittery review- looking forward to the next chapter! Alex x
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Alex! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. You've touched on so many things, what a great review, thank you! Most of all, I'm so glad the present tense worked for you and brought out that immediacy. I'm also happy to hear you liked the different way of approaching J/L - they are my OTP so being able to do something different is fun. Some of the things you've mentioned might not be touched on much, as I did envision this as a shorter story, so I do hope you enjoy the rest of it, even if you don't get all your answers. Thanks again for the lovely review, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)
Oh, hmm, okay ... ha ha - I'm hesitant in a good way, Gina, I assure you - ha ha.
Present tense third person. I was sure this wouldn;t work, but I barely noticed it, so yes I really do think it works for this story. My reasoning is that things are happening so immediately for Lily (her lack of memory) that this tense is her. She has no past ... so no past tense. (I'm reading too much into this - ha ha)
I was chewing my lip rather at the suddenness she accepted James. If I'm honest she seemed too comfortable with him, too quickly, but I see that James was surprised too (the arm linking). I was still unsure until I came to the line about her hating the fact that everyone thinks she's dead. That made her acceptance of him much more 'acceptable' although ... it soes still seem a bit too quick, if I'm honest. (I don't mean the kissing and possible sex, I mean the initial arm taking, conversation and willingness to go off with someone who is in effect a stranger). As I got to the end, I realised it wasn't OOC because probably she's recognising the core of James' character rather than the image she had of him at Hogwarts.
Sorry, I'm wittering. I like this story, Gina. It shows a different take on the pair of them and in this overstuffed genre, that is very hard to do.
Well Done! ~Carole~
Author's Response: No worries, Carole! I'm glad it was different, though. I'll be honest and admit I had not considered what you said about Lily having no past and hence the narrative having no past tense. I did start this is past tense but almost immediately I moved it to present tense, because I just felt compelled to do so. I think you've probably articulated why. As for Lily accepting James a bit too fast - yes, I can see your point. But then you did pick up on several other things that go to it, so hopefully it's not too OOC. For one, I see this Lily as being a rather different person for not having discovered magic. Yet she knows she's lost something and is searching for it there near Diagon Alley and that is also a part of her accepting James-someone from her past who can connect her back to her former life. And like you said, she recognizes his core character and has no memory of the boy he was at school. And as a firm believer in the soulmates theory, I think that is a part of it too. I do hope you'll read a bit more to see what you think. It will be short, more a series of vignettes of their rediscovered time together. Thanks so much for the review - and thanks for the Britpicking, as usual!! ~Gina :)
I love your stories so much! You are an amazing and detailed writer who captures the reader in all of your stories. Here, your plot seems very intruging and I can't wait to see what will happen with her memory, and why her parents kept the magical world a secret from her. Can I give you my theory?
I think that she somehow was injured in a Voldemort/Death Eater related attaking and her parents didn't want her to be in danger. They didn't tell her about Hogwarts or magic because they thought that if she didn't know, she would be safe. And thats why they didn't send her back to Hogwarts over the holidays.
Haha, just my theory, but I definetely can't wait for the next chapter and hope you post soon :)
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the lovely compliments! I'm blushing and smiling. I'm really glad you enjoyed this story. I'm fascinated by your theory, but I really can't say anything else. ;) It's not a big part of the story, though--in fact, you might not get definite answers, but there will be some. This was always meant to be a short story, just a series of moments between James and Lily. I'm just about done with the second part. I do hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much for the amazing review! ~Gina :)
Can't wait for the next chapter. Im so excited to see what happens between them and to see if lily gets her memory back. And to find out what caused Lily to lose her memory in the first Place.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! This will be a short story so I don't know if you'll get all your answers, but I do hope you like what you get. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
Oh my gosh! when I go tot he part about how Lily disappeared right before Christmas 7th year and then couldn't remember anything about the wizarding world, my heart went out to James. I was appropriately surprised, so I think your story was written very well. It's different than the average James Lily fic. Good job, and keep updating! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I like hearing that you were surprised, since these two can be rather predictable at times, and I'm thrilled you found this to be different but still enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reading and leaving a lovely review! I hope you enjoy the rest! ~Gina :)
Wonderful! This really made my day! Can'y wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this, as it's a bit different than usual for me. Thanks so much for giving it a try. I'm working on the next chapter and hope you enjoy the rest! ~Gina :)