Slash stories have always had a soft spot in my heart. And I always thought that Remus and Sirius would go good together. This story just reminds me of that even more, and makes me surer that they would be a fantastic couple.
Good job with the description, and the thoughts of the two men. It can be awkward for anyone’s first kiss, and theirs is definitely not an exception. I think it would be more so because they haven’t seen each other in so many years and had both mistrusted each other due to extenuating circumstances. So, very realistic in that aspect.
Also, it paints a good image in my mind of what is going on. Your story is full of visuals, which is good. I can also hear the creak in the stairs. I love any sort of imagery in a story because it really just makes it come to life so much better. Most stories could always use more description and imagery. Most though, not all.
Just a little nitpick. Too silent, wasn't Remus down stairs? There should be a period after silent and capitalize the w for wasn’t.
You did a good job with this one shot.
Hey Ash, it's Annie :)
You're really good at writing. I loved the awkwardness between R and S.
Hope to read more from you soon!
Author's Response: Thanks Annie :D im working on a J/L fic so keep your fingers crossed for me (: speak soon Ash xx
i liked this a lot!! you do the chemistry/awkwardness really well, although i do think you could have flushed out the waiting/wanting part a bit more; you could make a really good chaptered story out of this (your moment is so climactic, i felt like i wanted a whole story to support it). that said, i enjoyed it immensely; you're a great writer!!
Author's Response: Thanks very much :D I don't know if I could make this a chaptered story though... I love that you like it though!!