I read somewhere that Tonks was killed by Bellatrix and Remus by Dolohov, so you're pretty close ;)
I liked it. As fat as you can like this...
Author's Response: That's right, haha; I changed it a little to make my story work, so it's not STRICTLY canon, but my brain just formulated the plot scheme like this. Thank you for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it :).
The first story that actually made me cry. thanx
Author's Response: I haven't checked my reviews in quite awhile because I'm working on my latest piece, but when I opened this page and saw this, I was so touched! Thank you for your praise, I'm glad that you enjoyed it :).
After all your lovely reviews, I think it's time I owe you one!
This story was really well-written, I especially loved your characterisation of Tonks. Her dialogue, particularly when she arrived at the battle and talked about saving Remus, was perfect for her.
I think you also did a good job with Remus - his feelings towards Tonks in this are typical, it shows how he's desperate to hang on to her as he has lost everything/one else in his life. Sometimes his dialogue didn't quite fit, though, such as calling Dolohov "Death Eater" and the line "I merely wish for you to stay safe" - this seems a little formal and thought out, I would have expected something more like "I want/need you to stay safe!"
The description of Remus holding Tonks' dead body was absolutely beautiful, and the idea that in the end, Remus welcomes death fits too, though he would never suicide, I think when he recognises the inevitable, he is no longer scared. I also loved how the ending line about the Marauders matched up with the memories at the beginning.
Great fic, Maddy,
Author's Response: Hello, Katrina!
Thank you so much for the high praise! Several people have pointed out the dialogue to me; I should have gone over it more carefully before submitting it since it's been two years since I've wrote it. A note on its unexpected formality - Remus has a difficult time recognizing his emotions (or so I believe from Jo's characterization of him). When he feels alone, frustrated, miserable, frightened, or simply desperate, I feel as if he has a very difficult time knowing what to say. But! I do completely agree with you that sometimes it just does not seem to fit.
With regards to his death - indeed, that is what I was attempting to show. One thing Remus is not short on is courage, and if he must die, then he will embrace with open arms. Everything he loved and lived for seems to precede him; when you don't have very much to live for, you won't suicide (as you said) but you will explore the life's next challenge, death.
Thank you so much for your comments and feedback, it feels lovely to receive such praise :). If I ever have the time, I plan to go back to this and edit the dialogue, because now that I'm really thinking about it, it sounds rather na´ve, since I was younger at the time. Again, I can't thank you enough! I simply hope that my writing can be as lovely as yours:).
Well done! For me, this one shot read as if written by Jo herself. I can easily picture this having been a part of Deathly Hallows that was tragically lost do to editing. Beautifully written in it's simplicity. Very well done.
With much applause,
Author's Response: Hello, Lark!
I'm thrilled that you like it! And to have someone tell me that my writing actually compares to that of the magnificent J.K. Rowling just makes my day, I am so delighted; thank you very kindly for saying so! I really do appreciate such comments, they are the greatest gift any author can receive.
Thank you so very much,
I really liked the description of action in this piece. The memories at the beginning were effectively done and the end was especially emotional. However, I do think that the dialogue wasn't the best. It sounded a bit too proper, especially for Tonks, who's known for being casual generally in the way she speaks. Sometimes Remus' speech sounds a bit redundant.
I'll give you an example.
"I'm not letting Tonks come anywhere near you, Death Eater." Erm, nowhere in canon does it say anything about Remus (or anyone else for that matter) addressing a Death Eater as such. It makes it sound overly melodramatic for Remus. Also, I think by this point Remus is used to referring to Tonks as Dora (as officially I think she's Nymphadora Lupin, not Tonks). But that's not a big issue and I suppose it depends on your interpretation of their relationship.
The other thing that interested me was the use of the whole "greater good" thing. I was under the impression that only Harry and Ron and Hermione paid that much attention to Dumbledore's life when he was younger, not Tonks or Remus, and they certainly wouldn't have discussed it so...openly.
Overall, nitpicks aside, I did like this oneshot, so well done.
Author's Response: Hi Soraya! Thank you so much for your truly constructive review. I actually wrote this piece quite some time back, before I had completely polished my writing skills (and of course, there is always room for improvement). However, I can see what you mean by the redundancy present in the dialogue, and slight AU feel of it. When I wrote this around a year or two ago, I was thinking that driven by rage, Remus would tend to act in a way that we would not expect from him. Now that I look back on it, my logic seems completely flawed. As soon as I get time (which is difficult due to schoolwork), I will go back and polish the dialogue. It could be much better and I will most certainly take your advice. As for him referring to her as Tonks, well, that's how he knew her before they got married so it doesn't really seem like her maiden name.. just her name. That was just my interpretation of it:). Now, regarding the "for the greater good" usage in this story: that phrase may have resonated in Dumbledore and Grindelwald's plans, but they are not the only ones entitled to the use of this phrase, and I believe that as a general statement, it makes perfect sense to use it. After all, the greater good that they are discussing is sacrifices made for the purpose of defeating Voldemort. However, I am glad you addressed it; I was worried that it would seem rather out of place - I suppose I just couldn't help myself. Thank you once again for your really helpful review; I will refer to it whenever I get the chance to make edits. ~Maddy
Tragic, and I absolutely hate you for making me cry! So brilliant, even with the need for tissues :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much, you have no idea how thrilled I feel right now! It is such a gift to hear such praise and I'm very glad you liked my story, thank you once again:). ~Maddy