Reviewer: Phoebe Silver
Date: 05/24/11 5:09
Chapter: Hugo

UPDATE!!!!!!!!! please........ :)

Reviewer: Divess
Date: 03/31/11 14:53
Chapter: Lucy

I will have to familiarize myself with offspring. I'm not sure who is who. Lucy seems to have unresolved issues as to her being smart enough, being good enough, being pretty enough, etc. I imagine she can get out of that shell she will be an interesting person. Maybe she'll bloom once out of the constrictions of Hogwarts. Then again maybe she doesn't need to bloom she needs a taste of Albus (OMG, did I just write that?) Interesting chapter.

Reviewer: Divess
Date: 03/31/11 14:47
Chapter: Lucy

I will have to familiarize myself with offspring. I'm not sure who is who. Lucy seems to have unresolved issues as to her being smart enough, being good enough, being pretty enough, etc. I imagine she can get out of that shell she will be an interesting person. Maybe she'll bloom once out of the constrictions of Hogwarts. Then again maybe she doesn't need to bloom she needs a taste of Albus (OMG, did I just write that?) Interesting chapter.

Reviewer: Divess
Date: 03/31/11 14:46
Chapter: Lucy

I will have to familiarize myself with offspring. I'm not sure who is who. Lucy seems to have unresolved issues as to her being smart enough, being good enough, being pretty enough, etc. I imagine she can get out of that shell she will be an interesting person. Maybe she'll bloom once out of the constrictions of Hogwarts. Then again maybe she doesn't need to bloom she needs a taste of Albus (OMG, did I just write that?) Interesting chapter.

Author's Response: Yers, you need to familiarize yourself with offspring. ;) Those Weasleys and Potters produced quite a lot of children. *cough* She does need a taste of Albus, but hey! She got Lorcan. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


Reviewer: lucca4
Date: 02/28/11 19:59
Chapter: Hugo

Hey Natalie,

First of all, I am in love with the premise of your story. I really like the idea of telling each chapter through one of the next-gen character’s point of view in order to get a picture of what a day in the life is like. One of the things I like most about next-gen stories is seeing how each author portrays the characters differently, and this story looks like it will be a wonderful character study, in part (but also intriguing plot-wise). You did a great job crafting the characters. In some ways, they are like their parents, but they are also completely unique individuals and you expressed that very nicely.

Hugo’s chapter was incredibly well done. Your use of present tense is subtle and flows nicely throughout the story. This is one of the things that struck me most while reading this story — it read so easily. The tone of Hugo’s chapter is much different from Lucy’s, and I think that shows great talent as a writer for you to be able to jump first-person personalities so fluidly in the story. Hugo sounds very much like a teenage boy, and it was really refreshing to read that.

The confession in this chapter was well-done. It wasn’t necessarily surprising (but maybe that’s just because I’ve read a few next-gen slash stories and expected one of the characters in this fiction to be gay), but that fact didn’t take away from the emotion of the moment. I think it was very realistic in how Lily knew and was pressuring her brother to come out, because in my experience siblings can very rarely hide things from one another. It also gave us a good look at Hugo and Lily’s relationship as brother and sister.

I liked how Hugo chose to tell his mother, and keep it a secret from his father. I think it follows the very rigidly opinionated Ron that we know from the books, and somehow I don’t think he would be able to put his own emotions aside in this situation and be empathetic towards his son. I thought this detail was great in showing how you’ve kept the canon characters — what little we see of them, anyway — in character. It’s details like this that I feel really add to the oomph of your story.

On a side note, I enjoyed the reference in this chapter to your one-shot Cut and I’m looking forward to reading Dominique’s chapter (if it appears).

Xx Ariana

Author's Response: Hey Ariana!

WOW. Uh. This review made me speechless. :D

*so speechless it took me ages to respond D:*

First of all, Iím glad you found the characters having their own personalities, and arenít carbon copies of their parents. I think Iíve written and read enough Next-Gen to learn my lesson as far as this is concerned. Itís also great to know that the narrative tense worked! I honestly didnít mean to write an entire chaptered fic using first person, present tense, but once Lucyís chapter had been completed, I took it on as a personal challenge.

Hugoís sister would be Rose, though. :D In my story, however, heís closer to Lily as theyíre of the same age and were together at school.

While I donít plan to focus on most of the older canon generation, they do need to be there, and when they are there, they do need to be in character. Iím anal when it comes to keeping things canon. Iím encouraged by the fact that Ron has been well-received. As for Dominique, sheíll come!

Thanks for the review, Ariana. It was a complete joy to read.


Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 02/27/11 5:16
Chapter: Hugo

OOOOOOH, and we all know who that is - heh heh heh. When Hermione finds out, is she going to admit to having a dalliance with a certain person (Shrouds*)? Wow, I really must stop writing caron facts into your stories.

A joy, as always, to read, Natalie. I like the way the Next Gen children are coming alive under your touch and that they're note mere Weasley clones. Hugo is lovely and I'm pleased Hermione hasn;t gone all 'Fleur' on him - ha ha - not that she would.

Brillinat story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Brillinat. I like that.

Hermione might admit to having been tickled by a certain dragon...if someone force-feeds me liquid helium. *cough*

I do want the kids to sound very different. They were so Weasley-Weasley in my mind before, but I've thankfully grown out of that phase. Lol. Thanks for the review! More on Fleur in the final chapters. :D


Reviewer: hushpuppy22
Date: 02/26/11 17:16
Chapter: Hugo

Ah, Hugo is pretty brave, isn't he?

Author's Response: Yep. ;) He be a Gryffindor! If you want to know who he's dating, you could check out my fic "In the Back of the Shack". Thanks for the review!


Reviewer: hushpuppy22
Date: 02/26/11 17:07
Chapter: Lucy

This is a good insight into Lucy's character. It's believable that she would cling, if only in her mind, to Albus. Kinda sad that she feels so isolated in her family and, apparently, at Hogwarts...

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! (And sorry for the late reply.) Lucy will have her happy ending some day. :)


Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 02/26/11 15:52
Chapter: Hugo

I like it! What I really like is how this chapter also nods back to your other fics. I can guess who Hugo is seeing, and no, I don't think Hermione is prepared. ;)

I thought you handled Hugo's talk well. Of course Hermione would be accepting, she just seems like that sort of person. You keep referring to how Fleur reacted and how Dominique left, so I hope you write more of that (not necessarily this story, of course, but sometime.)

I did notice one technical thing: a few times you used the word 'got' and it seemed a bit awkward. For example, "Today, I really got to talk to her." I think "Today, I really NEED to talk to her." might sound better. Also, "I should have just done this before she got a chance to speak." I hear "I should have just done this before she HAD a chance to speak." But then, I still use 'gotten' sometimes and I know that drives Carole nuts. ;)

Well done, Natalie. Keep up with this one! Who's next??
~Gina :)

Author's Response: *saunters in late ungracefully*

About the technical things, I kept that to make it sound more colloquial, more 'teenagery' so that his POV was different from Lucy, who has a more 'adult' voice. And more will be coming up on the Dominique front! :D I am writing Fred now. Thanks for the review and support! <333


Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 02/11/11 20:01
Chapter: Lucy

Hi Natalie! What a neat idea, to explore all the Next-Generation kids this way. It will be interesting to see how their perceptions of each other play out. For example, Lucy gives her opinion of all her cousins, so it will be fun to see if their stories line up with that perception. Fun idea: you could take it anywhere. Are you planning on using the same day for all of them?

I already love Albus. Just the idea of him being kind to the cousin who doesn't fit in melts my heart. You mentioned something about Lucy not being very likable on LS, but I think it's more than she remains fairly enigmatic. She's not unlikable. She's unique. There are several things she says or does that make me go, Why? Now, it's probably not the scope of this piece to answer that question every time, but I would like a bit more depth to answer some of them.

I saw the kiss conversation and have to admit I did find it confusing as to whether she really did kiss him or not It could be made a little clearer that she is imagining it. Plus, I might have liked the details on her relationship/feelings with Albus to come before that to make it less out of the blue.

I LOVED the bits on Dominque and really hope you follow up on that in other chapters. And the idea of Hugo following Uncle Charlie into dragonry is great too!

Nice start, Natalie! Good luck as you continue! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Yes! Iím planning for everything to happen on the same day. :D Iíve already finished Hugo, but Iím debating if I should post him later on, and do Fredís first.

About Lucy. This actually started as a long one-shot on her character, but then as I was writing her, I felt like I had to tell what the others were doing. Their stories popped up in my head and I thought this would be a great way to introduce my personal vision of the Next-Gen kids. I know Iíll be writing other one-shots which would be off-shoots of this. Anyway, Iím planning to develop more of Lucy through the other charactersí POV, so I hope youíll stick around to read more of this. And oh! Dominique will definitely show up. :) Her story is one of the things which will remain a constant throughout the fic. Hugo, however, isnít following Uncle Charlieís footsteps. Hee hee. He isÖI suppose youíll find out soon enough.

Did you read this after Iíd edited that part surrounding this kiss? I added a few more lines to make it clearer. Iím not sure if I should make it more obvious than it is right now, though. : ( I want to keep Lucyís POV sort of distinct. She imagines a lot of things; she doesnít tell us straightaway when Albus first enters her consciousness about her attraction towards him. In her heart, she knows the Albus image she has made up is just that Ė made up. But then, sheís a human being, and as much as she wants not to dwell on this, it comes up later on when sheís alone with him. She wants it, and it happens, if only as an illusion.

This response is getting too long. Lol. Thanks for the lovely review, Gina, and for the good wishes, too. I hope I get to finish this quickly before I run out of steam again. D:


Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 02/11/11 9:22
Chapter: Lucy

Ohhh, interesting. Hmm, I suspect you'll get some fl;ak about the cousins kissing so let me just jump in here and say that I don;t have a problem with it, and it's hardly an issue in the Potterverse given the Black Family tree.

I like this story. I like Lucy as well. It's good that you have a Weasley that doesn;t feel she fits. Why would they all get on? That's unnatural. It's far more likely that there'd be a few that don;t quite fit into what they're expected.

Okay, small nit-pick. I don;t understand this exchange, “I…well, I only go to Hogsmeade when I have work.” “Work? In Hogsmeade?” “Yeah, like buy stuff.” I'm not sure what she's buying, if that's work, or if it's a typo.

Oh and YES YES YES to the PARTY house - so true, so true.

Lovely story, and I can't wait for more.

Author's Response: As we both discussed on AIM, that kiss didn't really happen. I really should get a beta for things like that. >.< In any case, you know I used to be uncomfortable with the idea of cousins getting together (perhaps because of where I grew up), but...I have thawed a bit towards this. More importantly, it was very important for the story, and for Lucy. She is almost in love with Albus - I say 'almost' because she would never fully accept she could love, even though she knew she was attracted to him for a lot of reason.

Yes, why should all the Weasleys get along? Hehehe. Glad you liked this angle; I feel this would be not so acceptable to certain fanfic-readers. But it is unnatural for everybody to be cozy with everybody else. There must be friction. And there will be when you're a Weasley and already famous before you're at school.

It would also be hard being Percy's daughter.

About that exchange, it just means she is lying. I think she is utterly lonely, and Hogsmeade seems like the kin of place you'd go to with your group of friends. And she doesn't seem to belong anywhere. Even when people invite her, she refuses because she would still be uncomfortable saying 'yes' with enthusiasm. She needs to be convinced she can have fun.

OK, I really want to write Lucy/Lorcan now. Heehee.

Thank you so, so much for the review, Carole!


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