Reviews For Bits of Him
Reviewer: Padfoot Patronus
Date: 02/01/11 0:12
Chapter: Chapter 1: Old Benjy

You did not!

What is it with you, lady? You're killing off potential pairings, you are! First Leo, then Benjy. Unforgiveable.

I'll write something more detailed later, when I'm not relishing this off somebody's else' computer. The reason why I missed your other story I suppose is that you've written it under this penname which I'd forgotten about entirely.

The story was brilliant. Your style shone through of course. It was interesting to observe that Benjy and Minerva they are quite similar personalities aren't they? They are equally reluctant (the way they try at least) and eager (but they wouldnt say) to be with each other. Also the way Benjy spoke to Sirius and James about how the Order recruitment was not a game, I couldnt help but thinking that after Minerva warns Harry in OOTP about Umbridge, she'd go back in her room and think about Benjy of this evening in a london bar. They don't understand is what both of them seem to be saying inwardy.

I can't love you enough for including Sirius and James and Lily ("put you hand down! - ingenious) and it just made the story longer and enjoyable of course.

I always see that you don't describe things in too detail. But even as the story started, I had such a vivid idea of families waiting on the platform for their men to appear. Yes, my imagination there might not be totally my own, of course I couldnt help but picture the movie Peal Harbour, but with regards to writing, I think it takes some measure of talent and hard work to be able to knock the reader with the right details from head on so they can fill in the other blanks by themselves. I think those are the stories where readers usually find themselves totally engaged. Have I been to a platform waiting for a father, brother coming back from duty? No. But I knew what it was like when MInerva was there.

Thank you for this beautiful read!

Akay

Author's Response: Well, I've taken forever not responding to this. Sorry. Yeah, the Pearl Harbour thing. Oodly enough, that's the only thing remotely tied to my 'history'. I'm Japanese-American, so whenever I write anything tied even slightly to WW2, I go back there. Always. I'm really, really glad you liked this. It was, surprisingly, easy to write, and that hasn't happened to me ever. Okay, I lie, I went through a couple drafts, but the idea never shifted. It's scary how we're on the same page here, Akay, on so many things. I'm weird, okay, but whenever I read HP and matched calendars, I realised all the wars meshed together and that was creepy. Yeah, as I say, a Marauder fic is so difficult to write and polish off. That is, if that happens at all for me. It's weird that you mention Leo because I've been struggling on how to rewrite that one so it blends with this. I'm so glad that you like it and that you get it. Thank you for reading it and not thinking I'm insane.

- Jenn

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