Reviews For Close Your Eyes
Reviewer: Purple Dragon
Date: 09/25/13 21:37
Chapter: Chapter 1

Very nicely done. It tied up really well, and I think you did a good job. I can always go to you if I need a really good story

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the praise and for leaving a review. It's much appreciated. ~Carole~

Reviewer: GinevraPotter00
Date: 04/17/12 3:55
Chapter: Chapter 1

Is this HBP canon compliant?

Author's Response: It could be .... who knows? I shall ask JKR next time I see her.

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 02/25/12 22:46
Chapter: Chapter 1

I don’t wish to be repetitive of other reviews, so I’ll keep it short (as usual, it seems).
I really liked this story, and I think your writing is fantastic. I think I will have to start stalking your stories like OtterMoone. (Correction: I already have.)
I don’t really know how to describe it: intriguing perhaps? The characterization was very good, but this is one ship I will probably never look towards. I know it’s not your normal Lavender ship too though, so a brave venture. Kudos to you.
Finally got the word: exquisite...I think.

Author's Response: Thank you!! Um, yeah, it's not my usual ship - at all - but it was written for the challenge of writing something I wouldn't normally consider (I wrote Truth or Dare for the same reason - ha!). I needed a hook, obviously, and the hook was Ron because that's what they have in common, so what if Lavender was mushy over Ron to wind up Hermione?

You probably know I adore Lavender and spend a large part of my fanfic life defending her, so this was along those lines :D - Thank you for all your reviews today ~Carole~

Reviewer: Seer_Witch
Date: 01/22/12 8:54
Chapter: Chapter 1

It was weird, because I don't think of Lavender and Hermione having enough in common to even be friends, but it did fit a lot of outside pieces together. Like Hermione never being super upset or disturbed by Sirius's death, which she watched (I chalked that to Harry's absorption in his own self-pity); Lavender's non-relationship with Seamus (but I always had a crush on him); and why she was THAT upset about Lavender and Ron. Honestly, most girls don't freak that badly out when the guy they like gets snatched up, I mean, at least not to their friend's face. So much sense. I don't know why I keep reading slash, because it disturbs my minorly, but everything fit together so nicely here. I really did like it.

Author's Response: This was a bit of a challenge to myself, to see if I could make the pairing work. In the normal course of events I ship lavender/Blaise, but I wanted to explore this dynamic because of the Ron situation. Plus Lavender is so often abused in fanfic and I like writing things sympathetic towards her. Thanks for the review ~Carole~

Reviewer: OtterMoone
Date: 07/10/11 2:56
Chapter: Chapter 1

As you can probably already tell, I am stalking your stories. Hope you don't mind! :) Haha. This made me feel sort of bad for Lavender. It was definitely interesting! And I love how you tied it in with the whole "6th year predicament". That would kind of.... suck even more, huh? The two people you were/had been attracted to, snogging in public? The horror.... hahaha ;D good job, even if this isn't your normal pairing!

Author's Response: Ha, this isn't my normal Lavender pairing at all. I'm far too in love with the idea of her with Blaise to seriously consider this as a serious option, but I like playing around with the characters. However this story sparked off the Seamus part of the story in The Golden Boy, which I know you've read. Thank you for reviewing ~Carole~

Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx
Date: 06/10/11 7:52
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oops. Sorry, Carole, I should've made myself clearer -- I don't like how fanony the Seamus/Lavender pairing has become, that's what I meant. You did write it well and I did read Golden Boy. Jess wrote you a review on it and I was reviewing it for SPEW, so I thought it would be good to read the story too so that I could get a better idea on it. It was really good, The Golden Boy, and I didn't mean to insult Seamus. I know it wasn't a forced thing :) Sorry for not making myself clear on that.

Author's Response: Oh, no that's fine. I wasn't sure what you meant, that's all because Seamus in this story does come over as rather insensitive. I tend not to like Seamus/Lavender in fanon because they always seem to end up together and it seems unlikely. But I love both of them separately. I remember your review of Jess's review, now you mention it. ~Carole~

Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx
Date: 06/09/11 11:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi Carole! I seem to be getting into femmeslash lately, which is why my two SPEW reviews will be for slash stories — yours and Jess’s. I have to say, I loved this story. I mean, I love all your stories (there are only a few I haven’t read, and I will get round to reading them once exams are over) but this one is a special favourite. The best thing about it is that it fits in flawlessly with canon; it’s in character and it’s written so very well.

I'm never a fan of stories that start with dialogue. I don't know, I think I prefer description instead, and more importantly, most people tend to overdo dialogue beginnings or just do it completely wrong. But this one’s an exception, definitely, because there was just something really nice about how it started, with the dialogue, and how even though you mentioned the pairing in the summary, I was still wondering who the speakers were.

I'm also generally not a fan of stories set in GoF. But this was written so well, if I didn't know any better, I would’ve thought that this was actual canon, written by JKR herself. The fact that Hermione remained secretive about it was IC, as well as Lavender helping her with her hair. I've always thought one of the reasons Hermione’s hair is described as bushy is because she doesn’t really care about it or doesn’t know how to handle it, LOL. So I liked that it all started off with Lavender helping Hermione with her hair, especially as a thank-you.

I've never liked Lavender/Seamus. It’s always been so clichd, and I really like how you turned that pairing around. (By the way, what on earth is a corsage? It was mentioned in a song in HSM3, but I don't know what it is :D) And the way you gave little hints of Lavender feeling attracted to Hermione, right from the beginning when Lavender liked the feeling of her hair, was really good. The way Hermione confided in Lavender about her first kiss was great — it was a nice parallel, having them both have their first kiss on the same night, and the backstory of Parvati with Hilaire was amusing in how clichd Parvati seemed to describe her relationship as. Or, at least, how perfect it seemed. And I loved how Hermione’s girly side was explored in this, with the whole hair thing, and then the makeup thing. I mean, I hate makeup so I do know how Hermione must have felt, but even I wouldn’t mind someone putting makeup on me, and it would be nice to be taught how to as well :) And I would definitely be told not to take it up for a living, haha.

My favourite line, by far, was when Lavender found the lipstick on her cheek after kissing Hermione: “Don’t take this up for a living, Hermione.” That was just classic. And I liked how she referred to Pansy — I hate her too! I loved the reference to The Golden Boy, because I do think that the students would have been affected by Cedric’s death, and it was interesting that Lavender slept with Seamus as a way of drowning their sorrows and whatever. I have to say, I was mentally cheering when I read that Lavender broke up with Seamus.

If you don't mind me saying, I do think that the story is well-paced generally, but I think the middle section when you covered the events of OOTP were kind of brief. But I understand why — because of the plot. It didn't take anything away from the story, though. I just think you could have covered more in that time, maybe say something about Parvati’s backstory? I don't know, just it seemed the middle bit could do with a bit more. At the same time, I suppose there probably wasn’t much else to say.

The use of the Patronuses lesson was a great way to show how unhappy Lavender was, without saying it outright. I really liked that Lavender’s happiest memory was kissing Hermione, but even that wasn’t happy enough, because Lavender couldn’t be with her or anything. And I loved the little interlude in the hospital wing. Lavender showed she was considerate and everything, but I was wondering why Parvati didn't come along? Surely both of them cared about Hermione? Okay, obviously for Lavender it was to a bigger extent, but still, I think Parvati would want to visit her too. Just my opinion, of course.

I love the way the relationship develops. Hermione suddenly found that she needed Lavender, and I think that that was a great way to bring them closer after being pretty distant for most of the year. And I kind of feel like Hermione wasn’t lying when she said that Lavender was just there. I mean, she was attracted to her and vice versa, but I don't think Hermione would have been the one to initiate the kiss if she wasn’t feeling so vulnerable.

Finally, the best bit about this is that Lavender’s behaviour suddenly makes more sense. All this time, I thought she actually really liked Ron, but if it was a sneaky way of making Hermione jealous... I have to say, that is just genius. I'm not sure who to congratulate — you or Lavender! LOL. As a Romione shipper, while I do like this ship, I was glad that you stuck to canon until the very end, Carole, because I think Hermione probably isn’t gay, even in your story. I think it’s possible for her to just have been attracted to Lavender, and her attraction to Ron was stronger, I reckon. But that’s just the canon monster coming out :)

I really loved this story, Carole, and I’d like to see a sequel. Then again, you have so many WIPs at the moment that perhaps now’s not a great time to request? Thanks for writing, as always, because your stuff’s always brilliant to read in revision breaks.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Soraya, thank you for the lovely review.

Okay, a corsage is a flower like an orchid or something that the girl pins on her dress or wears around her wrist when she goes to a dance or prom type thing. The boy is supposed to buy it for her.

It's funny what you say about stories opening with dialogue because it is a style I probably overuse. I like it because it lands the reader directly into the action and I'm also not a huge fan of chunks of description at the beginning and tend to skip it (I am a very lazy reader)

I also quite like Seamus/Lavender but not as a happy-ever-after. It's more that I like the possibility of writing about young teenagers having some innocent fun. Although the fun here isn't innocent towards the end. Have you read The Golden Boy. Seamus side of that night is explored and it might make you feel a bit sadder for him. I wouldn;t want you to think that he in any way forced Lavender because it wasn't like that at all.

As far as a sequel goes, I really doubt it. In my canon, Lavender is with Blaise Zabini. She got together with him in their seventh year and they're still together when he's teaching at Hogwarts. I wrote this because Gina suggested the pairing when I was asking for a rare pair. Although I like the reasoning behind this because it stops Lavender being quite such a mush head over Ron, the relationship really doesn't work with my other stories so a sequel doesn't feature in my plans - Sorry. On the whole I do stick to canon - even with pairings that seem AU because I like tweaking Jo Rowlings world but not breaking it.

I didn't think about Parvati visiting Hermione in hospital, but my reasoning was that Lavender wanted to go alone and that it was a fairly impulsive thing. She brought her that rather ridiculous book, after all, whereas if she'd thought about it, she would have brought her something far more Hermione-ish.

Thank you very much for such a comprehensive review. I really do appreciate it. ~Carole~

Reviewer: DarkSunflower
Date: 05/04/11 16:50
Chapter: Chapter 1

Bahahah! Ahh, this would be an interesting way to explain how things went down. Very funny, I must admit... I quite enjoyed this, although this wasn't exactly my favorite... pairing. Well written, though. Very nice. :)



Author's Response: Thank you. I'm interested in Lavender and he motives because I think she's been dealt a bad fanfiction hand. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Sirena Desierto
Date: 04/26/11 0:47
Chapter: Chapter 1

What an amazing story! It's so beautiful, and yet so sad. You did a fantastic job of fleshing out Lavender's character. And what a twist on her relationship with Ron! (or should I say "Won-Won"?) This is one of the first stories I added to my Favorites. I love it! I read it twice in under half an hour. It's so wonderfully written - I can't wait to read more of your work! You are a tremendously talented wwriter

Author's Response: Thank you very much. If you liked this then you might like 'Eyes that Know Me', Drowning, Not Waving' and 'The Dance We Do' - all are same sex pairings - the latter is Professors rating, though. I also have a lot of other fics on the site, not all are romances, so I hope you find some other things you enjoy. ~Carole~

Reviewer: LightningBlast_99
Date: 02/01/11 8:17
Chapter: Chapter 1

That.Was.Sooo.Weird..

Author's Response: If you mean 'weird' as in Jonny Depp weird then I'll gladly take that as a compliment. If you mean weird as 'I can't grasp this concept' then I'm sorry it caused a problem but I did give it a 6th -7th rating and it's in the SSP category. Thank you for reading, though.

Reviewer: MerrryD
Date: 01/31/11 3:15
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh, Carole, I love this! I honestly didn’t know what to expect going in, mostly because I wasn’t sure how you could conceivably get Hermione and Lavender together, but wow. It went beyond my expectations. :)

I like how bold your writing is. It doesn’t feel like you’re trying to be light or sensitive since it’s a “controversial” topic, it’s just like you have a story to tell, so damnit you’re going to tell it. It also gives your story this kind of confidence that makes it seem real and natural.

The beginning is really cute and has a very slumber-party-slash-getting-ready-for-a-school-dance feel. It’s nice to see Hermione acting a bit more—like a girl, I guess. I particularly liked it because it wasn’t what I was expecting at all (not that I knew what I was expecting) and it provided a good foundation to build their relationship off of.

“Do you like him?” Hermione asked, and from her tone, Lavender knew she didn’t just mean ‘like’ as in a friend, but ‘like’ as in fancy, or ‘want to snog’.

I like this line because it again shows the Hermione that we don’t see from Harry’s point of view but had to be there. You characterization of Hermione is really good—I’m impressed with how well you balanced her logical, rational, intelligent side with the teenage girl side. But. I guess, I just always saw her being a bit more opened-minded and not “This is wrong.” I feel like that since she’d had to face prejudice for being Muggleborn, she’d be more accepting towards everyone and everything else—like Remus being a werewolf, Hagrid being half-giant, house-elves, etc. That’s just my opinion, though.

One of the things that makes this story really believable is how close you stuck to canon—especially Hermione and Ron (“Ron Weasley is an utter arse!” heehee). I guess, though, Hermione’s conflicting emotions between Ron and Lavender could explain why she hesitated and the “this is wrong.”

Parvati had been excited when she’d left, a girl in thrall to the endless possibilities of love; Lavender had felt hollow inside.

This is possibly my favourite line from the entire fic. I love the juxtaposition of Parvati’s whirlwind feelings and Lavender’s emptiness. It emphasizes her lack of feeling. It’s just really beautifully put together.

(Had something happened? She wasn’t sure of anything except that her arms were covered in goosebumps and her heart was still pounding inside her.)

Then again, this might be my favourite line. I particularly like the way this one was positioned in the paragraph, as just a tiny little aside. It felt like Lavender was trying to ignore it and just carry on.

“Why don’t you just put less on?” Hermione asked.

This is so Hermione; it’s brilliant. Also, I love the way Lavender is helping Hermione get in touch with her feminine side, for lack of a better phrase, in more ways than one. I enjoy the irony of Lavender introducing Hermione to all these stereotypical girl things while also introducing her to something that is not a very stereotypical girl thing at all.

Her expression lost its irritation and she smiled again. “Ron’s totally clueless.”

So I know I’m supposed to be rooting for Hermione/Lavender and I am! But. Just. AWWWW. Seriously. That’s so cute.

Lavender waited for Hermione’s fingers to remove the dust, but instead she stiffened when she felt Hermione’s breath on her cheek. She opened her eyes in alarm as a shivery sensation coursed down her spine. Hermione was close now, so close, and with her lips pouting as she blew away the shadow.... Lavender shifted – just a touch – and then it happened. Their mouths were a hair’s breadth apart. Hermione’s lips, painted a dusky pink, shimmering, enticing and far too close. Without fully realising what was happening, Lavender uttered a small moan and then planted her mouth on Hermione’s.

I couldn’t just pick one line. This entire paragraph is just really amazing and there’s so much going on in there. Lavender’s desire and what she feels is so palpable and beautiful. I love how you used punctuation to convey her emotions—the ellipses and the dashes have so much longing and wanting and curiosity in them. It’s amazing how much you’re saying without saying anything at all.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, and yet it felt as if this was how it should always be.

There are a couple of things about this line. For one, it really shows the way Lavender was raised—boy and girl, not girl and girl or boy and boy, and they way she doesn’t care because of the way she feels. I like the slight sense of internal conflict that we get here. I kind of feel like there should have been more, that Lavender wouldn’t have just been “well, that’s interesting, okay!” right from the beginning.

Another thing about this line is that it’s really beautiful and I love the parallel structure of it. The structure kind of becomes a metaphor for her emotions—two parallel lives she could live, one the way she was brought up, the other the way she feels.

“Night,” Lavender replied, tears trickling down her cheeks.

While this line is really sad and tugged on my heart, it seemed kind of weird to me. I guess because I never really get the sense that Lavender was more than physically attracted to Hermione. It seems more like she wants to kiss Hermione because she likes the way kissing Hermione makes her feel, rather than she wants to kiss Hermione to kiss Hermione.

And that’s when she knew that there was nothing happier. And it was no use, the memory was so fleeting that she’d never be able to conjure a Patronus.

She stopped trying after that.


This says so much about Lavender’s life with general, not just her interactions with Hermione, and that’s what makes it really heartbreaking.

This was -- not wrong, these feelings could never be called wrong -- yet it was unreal.

I really, really like this line. I could say more than that, but I don’t really want to. I mostly like this line for the words themselves and the emotions they carry, so I’m just going to leave it at that—I really like it.

Then very casually she said, “You’d better make sure you get in there then, Hermione. You wouldn’t want another witch snapping him up.”

Um. Hello, awkward dorm. How do you sleep at night? This makes Lavender less pathetic in the sixth book, which I kind of like, but it also makes her a bit more vicious and makes me feel extremely bad for Ron (since she was just using him to get back at Hermione) and Hermione (because, well, that would just suck).

The only thing about that end that I don’t really like is I still don’t feel like Lavender was really that emotionally attached to Hermione. I mean, you’ve hinted that she was, but that’s all it was, just hints. I never felt it. It seemed more physical than anything else. I just wish that there had been a little more.

Er, I didn’t realize how long this review was until just now. >.> Basically, I loved it. It was really beautiful and gave a lot more depth to both Hermione and Lavender.



--Mere

Author's Response: Wow! A one shot of a review. First of all, thank you for all the crit and the praise. I do agree with you on the 'It's wrong' comment from Hermione because I don't thnk she is judgemental, or certainly not when she 'thinks' about it. I did think about deleting that line, but instead added her next sentence of 'No ... not wrong.' because I think that summed up the Hermione of my story. She doesn;t think being gay is wrong - but she doesn;t think it's her - plus she was seeing Viktor and confused about Ron at that moment too.

I take your point about Lavender's emotions as well. What I was trying to show is that she's actually not sure how deep her feelings are for Hermione. They're not friends particularly, and I'm not sure she likes Hermione much (I would venture to say she's more attached emotionally to Seamus) because she doesn;t get that much of a chance to like/love Hermione. It's exploration, confusion and attraction between the pair.

Darn it, I think I need to write a blooming follow up now. Your review has really made me think carefully. *adds sequel to long, long list) Mere, Thank you very, very much for this review. It was certainly thought-provoking and gorgeous to read. ~Carole~

Reviewer: ProfPosky
Date: 01/28/11 16:23
Chapter: Chapter 1

You know, I despise Lavender, and this seems perfectly in character with everything I don't like about her.

How utterly satisfying!

And I can see this all happening just this way - you've got Hermione totally in character, as well. But it does raise the question - why is Hermione always attracted to people who are not quite her level? Not that Ron isn't great, and better in the books than the movies, but Hermione is AWESOME. Like, they should have to invent an entirely new type of human male just for her. And Lavender... meh.

Ah, well, we've all been young and confused...or just confused... GREAT job, Carole! Very well developed - all Lavender's emotions and actions, Hermione's emotional reaction to the MoM, the whole thing.

Author's Response: Now you see, I don't like Hermione much. Okay, I don't hate her or anything, and I don't despise her, but Hermione would have been the girl that really irritated me, and Lavender would have been the girl I liked - ha ha. Oh dear, I think we're destined not to be friends, Thea. I am glad you liked the story because I did hesitate the characterisation and the un-canonness of it. Thanks again ~Carole~

Reviewer: lucca4
Date: 01/28/11 7:12
Chapter: Chapter 1

What I loved most about this fic was how well you were able to interweave it with canon. And even though you were jumping through the years, it read so smoothly and fluently and gave more to the story since readers could see Hermione and Lavender's relationship progress.

I like the idea of Lavender/Hermione unrequited (or Lavender/Hermione-won't-admit-it), especially as you've portrayed it. I love how it was Lavender that was able to comfort Hermione after SIrius's death, and how Hermione uses that as an excuse to say that what happened meant nothing.

Hermione and Lavender's chemistry was so well-written. Their developing relationship was sad at times, because it seemed like the closer they got to confronting how they felt about one another the farther away they became. Great job with the whole dynamics of that, by the way :)

I know it's been commented on already, but my favorite part of the story is the ending. I love how you've given a believable reason as to why Lavender pursued Ron in the beginning of 6th year, and how it sort of gives a double-meaning to Hermione's vehemence against it.

This is such a good read, Carole! Amazing job :).

xx Ariana

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Since writing a few Lavender stories, I've been annoyed at the fanfic portrayal of her as this air-head who remains an airhead for the rest of her life. This story did come about through an LJ pairing conversation (ha ha) but it is now making me think about that awful necklace she gave Won-Won. There might be a sequel ... I do appreciate the read and review, Ariana, thanks again. ~Carole~

Reviewer: DaisyMaeEvans
Date: 01/27/11 18:43
Chapter: Chapter 1

I really love this! Great job on Lavender's feelings and leaving it open as to whether Hermione really changed her mind or couldn't handle the truth. Like the leadup to book 6 too.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. It seemed a bit bizarre when someone suggested the pairing, but when I thought about the Ron connection, I got my hook. Glad you enjoyed the story. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 01/27/11 17:20
Chapter: Chapter 1

Carole! I once again can't believe you took this pairing of all the suggestions we gave you. It's really fascinating, though, so I'm glad you did. Well done and super original.

I think, though, that there is a bit too much dialogue at the beginning.

Haha! Just kidding! ;)

Actually, I really liked the beginning. Starting it as a fun makeup session seemed so age-appropriate and was a perfect set-up for their accidental kiss. You know I love dialogue. :)

One thing that surprised me was that I was sort of rooting for . . . Seamus. You make him such a decent, likable guy. I felt sort of bad that Lavender wasn't completely into him. Nice job with him.

Hermione was well done also, especially after events at the MoM. I really liked that you used Lavender's point of view, though. That was the right choice, as opposed to Hermione. Great job with Lavender.

Here is what I found so fascinating: the whole set-up for the end. The second kiss, the summer writing, the rejection. And then the last line: "You wouldn't want another witch snapping him up." OH! Brutal! I mean - what an awesome twist on Ron/Lavender - it was all revenge on Hermione! That was very, very cool, and perfectly done. Great job!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Mmm, I felt sorry for Seamus, but it did spark off a whole new idea about him ... hee hee. Gina, I'm glad you enjoyed the story and the random pairing, and I hope you can understand how essential the dialogue is to this story. I thought about using Hermione's POV for some parts, but it didn;t seem to work as well as Lavender's probably because I can't write Hermione very well. Thanks for reading and reviewing ~Carole~

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