This seems like a pretty good story so far. However, I noticed one little problem: Draco seems a bit OOC because of his somewhat low self-esteem.

Author's Response: I can see what you mean, I will try to rectify this. I think I made Draco the way he is because of the way he seems to be acting in the Deathly Hallows, he isn't as confident as he is in previous books etc. But I can see where you're coming from. I'm going to try and make Astoria the reason he gets his confidence back you see :)

An interesting premise although with slightly too much focus on dialogue. It would be more interesting to see how the characters unfold rather than having them display all their emotions through their dialogue; this goes specifically for the conversation between Narcissa and Draco. Otherwise, interesting work and I'd like to see more of this!

Author's Response: First of all, thanks for taking the time to read :) I think I focused more on dialogue in this chapter because it's what I think my strong point is. I understand what you mean about the amount of dialogue. I hope you continue to read and tell me if the amount of dialogue is getting better! :)