Aw, that was absolutely enjoyable! I thought your depiction of Snape was spot on and I laughed at his less-than-flattering thoughts of James. My favourite was "that obnoxious braying idiot Potter". Brilliant. I absolutely love James, so it's rare for me to be able to stomach insults that are flung at him. I could totally see James laughing like an idiot and being pompous -- I could also see how Snape's perspective acted as a lens for the reader. Because Lily can see a good side of Potter, and Snape is in love with Lily, it shows that Potter must be good, but Snape's jealousy of, and long-time feud with, James clouds his vision.
Loved it. Very well done :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm not a Snape fan - I'm a James/Lily shipper all the way - but I do like writing from his POV and it's good to threow some insults at old Prongsie once in a while - hee hee. Glad you liked the story - Carole
Oh, SOOO good!
Teary part - "When the Owls are over..."
"He laughed, not the hollow, sardonic cough he was given to uttering, but a joyful, euphoric shout of a laugh."
See, he IS capable of true joy - just not often...
And thank you for not making Lily likeable. She was. And in the sense that she was, she is here. She is exactly the sort of girl I'd probably hate, which is what I've always thought...
Shallow byotch, watching the silly Quidditch playing James as if that made him better than someone else...
Author's Response: We're never going to agree on Lily, are we? Despite you having the same shirt as her, you still don't like her *sigh*. Hmm, I thought she was rather nice, certainly she was the one that helped him off the grass when he fell. I can't blame her for finding the star Chaser attractive when she was 16 - hormones are a dangerous thing. Anyway, thank you for reviewing and I am pleased you enjoyed the story. ~Carole~
I should hand you plotbunnies more often, clearly! Nice work. Our favorite Potions Master seems the stubborn sort, doesn't he, and it tends to make him more interesting to write than those who would take a good dose of mud as a sign. (Argh. Speaking of signs, it just occurred to me that Sybil Trelawney had to take a first flying lesson too. Wonder what that looked like? Pesky bunnies.)
Author's Response: Oh, fabulous to see you here, VV. I think this is the second time I've take crit and turned it into a story. I'm glad you enjoyed the story; it has been hanging around for a while. I meant to post it on the old Potion Master's birthday, but I forgot. poor Snivelly, so often overlooked. Thanks again for reading and reviewing ~Carole~
Ooh, this was really, really nice. The ending is so sad though! It makes you feel bad for Snape :( In some ways, I feel sorry for Snape a lot because he wanted Lily so badly . . . ah, I'm just rambling now. Great story. Very enjoyable!
Author's Response: Thank you, Megan. I'm glad you liked the story because it's been hanging around for ages and I wasn't sure whether to submit it. Anyway, it seems to have got a good response (YAY) Thanks again ~Carole~
Aww, isn't that last line sad? Because we know what happened after O.W.L.s, and he never got the chance to show her.
Very nice look into Snape's teenage character, Carole! It's all so perfectly balanced - his relationship with Lily, her relationship with James, Snape's drive and ambition. I really liked how he internalized flying - it wasn't just about beating Potter or showing Lily, but he grew to like it. I could see that. He obviously appreciated the journey of hard work, which seems very in character for a potions professor.
Author's Response: Thank you, Gina. Yes, I thought the last line was sad too - poor Snivellus. I did want to make the story more than just his obsession with Lily because I think that's overplayed and he was far more than just that. Glad you enjoyed the story. ~Carole~
aww.. that was a really good one-shot!
loved the sort of bitter sweet ending..
nice one :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much. ~Carole~
This is a really interesting and believable piece. I would imagine that it would be in DH, in Snape's memories. It was written very well, as per usual, Carole, and what I liked about this the most is that you tweaked something that got rejected the first time round and actually used the critique to change things. I have to admit, though, I never thought Snape was that good a flyer, but I can understand why you think so and it is very Snape-like to start flying only because Lily was impressed with James' flying. This was a fab oneshot, so well done!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The point about Snape is not only was he able to fly well enough to referee Harry's matches in the first year (and being the referee means you have to be able to keep up with all the action), but he was also able to fly sufficiently well in the Seven Potters scene, unlike, say, Hermione or Fleur. What the Mod was trying to impress upon me was that I shouldn't have just dismissed Snape's flying as 'dreadful'. I did amend that chapter to Lily saying something like 'He's not as bad now, he practised.' This story isn't compliant with Lions at all, by the way.
Anyway, that's a long-winded response, but thank you for the review ~Carole~