i like rose... she has.... chutzpah. at least it looks like she could have. awesome so far.
I'm not really impressed over this one. It didn't manage to pull me in like many other fanfics do, possibly because it's basically just a short version of the original books, told from a more boring view. Your characters are mind-readers and sometimes know things no one has told them. I'm sorry, but this fic did not satisfy me.
Author's Response: Ah, well... as Dumbledore says, "If you are holding out for universal popularity, I'm afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time."
I'm really bummed that Rose never told Harry that they are twins. :'(
Author's Response: Aww, don't be bummed.
Even though this story is essentially another perspective on the events of HBP (well sofar, anyway), I think you do really well at not making it repetitive, because Rose's perspective is so different. I like the way she pre-empts things that Harry does (eg shout when Dumbledore announces Snape as DADA teacher), because from her side it's almost as if he's a friend, but he doesn't particularly know who she is.
Valentine seems to be an interesting character - she makes me think a little of Theodore Nott, the other Slytherin loner. She's not technically on the class list, but that's not really canon and obviously you're not using anyway because neither Rose nor Sammy are on it. Anyway.
I didn't really like the ending of this chapter, for a few reasons - firstly, I thought it unlikely that Rose and Sammy would have been leaving the village at precisely that time, and secondly they didn't seem very affected by what happened. She screamed and moaned and writhed, but Hagrid picked her up and carried her off, and the other four students trailed after him. I don't think this really describes what it would have been like to watch this event, even from a distance... I think it would have been more terrifying.
Also, Sammy clearly doesn't know who brought Rose up - but surely Rose must have told her something...
I couldn't change what Sev brought upon himself. I thought this was an interesting line, because sofar in this fic Rose has completely defended Sev, so it's interesting that her attitude has changed somewhat.
Rose's comments about Hermione also make me smile, and I think they're true.
Author's Response: "From her side, it's almost as if he's a friend, but he doesn't particularly know who she is." ~You have been paying attention! I like to picture Rose watching from the sidelines all through school, cheering Harry on through everything that happens to him. She's been watching him- hopefully not in a creepy way, hee hee. Valentine was almost a total accident. She built more and more as I wrote the story, and she's become one of my favorites. As for the whole thing with the locket, you have to keep in mind that A) I'm still learning a lot about writing, and B) this was one of the chapters I wrote at one o' clock in the morning (I'm a slave to inspiration...). But you're absolutely right, I did skim over book six Moments almost too much. I just wanted to get through the repeat and get on with Year Seven. Also- yeah, she told Sammy something, it just wasn't necessarily the truth. I think it's mentioned a bit later... Pay attention to Rose's thoughts on Snape, you're on the right track there. And Rose's comments about Hermione are pretty much the same as mine. Remember, Rose is basically me, only tweaked a bit. :) Review again soon!!
Sorry that it's taken me so long to read more of this story. I also only got your response from my last review today, as my inbox decided to put it in my junk folder, which I don't check regularly. Anyway.
A few points from your response - I agree, I don't think Harry would make a connection between Rose and himself, but I would be surprised if Hermione didn't, but I suppose with school and everything Harry gets up to I suppose she's rather busy.
Also Snape - I think in a way he is a bit of a tragic hero, and people often view him in that way, but at the same time he did treat Harry terribly and refused to see anything other than his father in him. I read the other day that Potter fans have voted him their favourite character, which I suppose makes sense, since he's probably the character with the most depth in the series. Anyway, I digress. I think it's interesting that Rose is blind to how Sev acts, such as the line Honestly, it wasn't favoritism; Sev was above that sort of thing.... I think this is interesting, because it really highlights how two peoples' perspectives on one person and their actions can vary greatly. For example, Snape sees Harry as arrogant and mediocre because it's what he expects, other teachers see something different. It makes you wonder how accurate Harry's presentation of all the characters in canon is...
I liked the awkwardness between Rose and Sev when she left his house - as in that they're both awkward with showing emotion.
I think it's interesting every time you write the words "my brother", because in a way, there's so much more to being siblings than biological relationship, and I get a feeling of sadness for Rose, particularly with that scene at the end, that she's never been able to talk to her brother and share her life with him.
I also liked how you sort of paralleled Rose and Harry's experiences with Apparition - both going Side-Along with Dumbledore and having a similar feeling afterwards.
Author's Response: YAY! I'm so glad you're back reviewing me again, I'm loving the super-long in depth stuff you're telling me! It's like Author Heaven... Yeah, I was counting on Hermione being too busy with Harry to pay much attention to Rose. As for the Snape-Rose relationship, again, that's exactly what I was going for. Rose turns a blind eye to Severus as much as she can- and who can blame her? The man raised her, after all. Keep in mind that that makes Rose about as biased as Harry's presentation is. That's why she's so clueless about Snape as a villain. Awkward Moments are my specialty, having participated in several over the course of my fifteen years. :) Again, with the "my brother" thing- spot on! And I put in Side-Along Apparition as a bit of comic relief. :) Glad you're liking this!
hi - i only started reading this now. this story is brilliant and you must be very talented, though i would have harry figure out that rose is his sister and ask her for the full details. other than that, it was fantastic!
Author's Response: Thanks! I try not to get too cocky about my "strange talents".... As for poor ol' Harry, I don't really set much store by his intelligence... *sheepishgrin*
Nice I also like how you skiped all of tha boring parts, that would have been a DRAG to read. No offense ;)
Author's Response: None taken. The boring parts would have been a DRAG to write too, ya know. ;)
Bloody brilliant! I would have liked it better though if you would have added inbwhere Rose does tell Harry, but I did like the ending where rose and sev talk and how its similar to the end of deathly hallows. :) great job
Author's Response: Thanks! And, since you used my favorite Ron Catchphrase, you get a gold star for the day! (My second favorite is "Wicked!" They're both so useful.) :)
I usually am not a big fan of alternate, non-canon fan fics because I feel like a lot of time the author doesn't know how to pull it off right, but you definitely knew the balance here! It was the perfect "what if" story for me; it was developed enough to make you want to pay attention to Rose, but also to make you think about what if this was the way Harry's story went? I liked reading Harry's story from a different perspective. Really great work! I hope you keep writing!
Author's Response: I can totally identify with you there- as a rule, I shunned AU as well, preferring canon to stories that seemed cheesy and implausible. But I started making exceptions (there's exceptions to EVERY rule, of course), and I've found that AU has so much more wiggle room! If you do thorough research so that it fits in neatly enough, it can turn out wonderfully. My worst fear that this story (which essentially started out as a "what if" to keep me occupied in boring algebra classes) wouldn't have a balance, that it wouldn't fit seamlessly into Harry's story. So reviews like this give me a HUGE boost! Oh, and I never stop writing. EVER. I'll have something new up eventually (I've been toying around with next-gen since May), so till then sit tight! Thanks for the review!
great really great story
Author's Response: Thank you!
wow i have never read such a great and sentimental story
Author's Response: Thanks! Sentimental? Yes, that it is. I've said it before: Rose is basically a better version of me (i.e. the Me I Wish I Was). Rosie and her crew have been with me all through Freshman Year. I'll have another story up soon, but I've been on vacation and recently switched schools, so it might be awhile. Thank you so much for the review!
Fantastic. I was flipping through some of the stories when the description of yours caught my eye. I'm really enjoying this :)
Author's Response: Thanks!
Loved the start and very nice ending i really hope that you can please make a pre-epilogue/post-DH story!
Author's Response: Ha ha! Thanks! Who knows what I'll be doing? My summer has gotten a little crazy, but I'm dabbling in different ideas, and something may be out soon. :)
Ughh now i wish i hadent finished
Author's Response: I wish it was longer, too.
That was really good! I'm sad that it's over. I'm still a little disappointed that Harry never got to know, but I'm happy that she's happy. :D
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm sad it's over, too... :(
That was a great ending.
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
Still awesome! I guess that soon brother and sister will re-unite? Will she be the one to defeat the dark lord? The mystery continues, also with the one how Sev could be a good father. Love it!
Author's Response: Thanks! Sev as a good father was interesting to write about for me. It gave me a whole new perspective of his character. As for the rest of your questions- well, "Don't count your owls before they are delivered." Thank you for reading and reviewing!
This is great! Who would have thought to stop and think if Harry had a twin!!!! I can't wait to continue reading!!!
Author's Response: Thanks! Apparently, I would stop and think of that. :)
Well I am sad that it is over!! I really interesting fanfic and I know I certainly enjoyed it :-)
Author's Response: Thanks! I enjoyed writing it. I'm kind of sad it's over too, but there are other stories out there for me to write. I think I ended Rose's story pretty well. I'm just hoping I didn't peak too soon! :)
Nice ending except I hope none of her kids and Harry's kid fall in live together. That's about the only complication I can see if Harrys not going to know they are related!
Author's Response: It's doubtful that will happen... I didn't even think of it, actually. Wow, you'd think I would have thought farther ahead than the start of Sev's school year. Hee hee, thanks for reviewing!