Hi there,
I thought you did a really good job with James, your OC. I liked how he wasn't the stereotypical loyal Hufflepuff, and stood apart from those who knew for certain they wanted to fight. His fears and thoughts were very human, and universally relatable.
I really enjoyed how you included memories from his past (though I still want to know more about Andrew…if he's living or dead…but that's just my being overly-curious). It was a great way to give background to a character you only had so many words to describe.
What I thought was best about this piece (besides your characterization of James) was that you were able to take a short, not-too-major scene from Deathly Hallows, and turn it into a fully developed one-shot. It did a great job of giving a fresh perspective to a scene we've only seen through Harry's somewhat-distracted perspective.
Really good job with this!
xx Ariana
this story was great! a wonderful missing moment. it really gave me chills :-)
Author's Response: Thank you :] I'm glad you liked it.
I like this fic. I think James is a very interesting original character, and I like the back story you gave him with his brother and their relationship. It's easy to think there were the ones who stayed and the ones who left, with not much in the middle... but it really couldn't have been so. I like that James doesn't have the courage until the moment he DOES. Life so often feels that way to me. You are right up on making the decision you always knew you'd make, and then, in the moment, BAM, it's the other thing. Very nice.
I was a little confused by the reference to Crabbe, as I believe he was in Harry's year, and you specifically mentioned that James recognized his torturer as being in his own year... ?? Perhaps I misread this.
Very nice story, though. I especially like the character Tom, how unsavory he seems to be, and then, in the end, he has no qualms about standing to fight. You've blurred the lines between the good guys and the bad, which always keeps things interesting.
Author's Response: Thank you Lori :] I really appreciate what you said. And thanks for pointing out that thing about Crabbe - I originally wrote James as a seventh year and I must have missed that little detail in thta part when I was fixing it.
