Hey, Alyssa. ;) Good for you, choosing to use original characters for this. So many students in this story whose stories would never be known. I like that you actually did have them leave, and then return. At first, I thought he wouldn't go with her, and she would still go alone, and then would die. Not so happy.
I'm glad you let him man-up and return to the battle as well. Did they make it? Or aren't you telling? Hehe.
I like the Lavender connection, though it made me very curious.
Nice job, and always good to read a different take (OC's).
I enjoyed being in class with you!
Good job with this story, Alyssa! You did a really nice job with the prompt and putting your own spin on it :).
I liked your OCs, Robert and Lauren, a lot. The chemistry between them was well-done, and I liked reading their interactions. I thought it was interesting that they took the passageway from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade -- it was great to see this from a point of view other than Harry's.
There were many unanswered questions in this, such as what Lavender was thanking Lauren for, and if Lauren and Robert survive the Battle (I really hope they do!). Because this is being made into a chapter fic, it's especially good and I'm definitely curious for chapter two.
xx Ariana
Author's Response: I am so happy that you lime Lauren and Robert! Their characterization came easily, but I wasn't sure how well they worked together. I'm trying to work on characters together. Here's a secret: I have no idea how I want it to end. So anything is possible! I find it fun to write like that. Anyway, thank you for reviewing!
i liked this a lot, and i also liked what someone said before, (the fact that these characters really slip into the world we already know.) question: when robert is saying goodbye to his parents to go back to hogwarts, do they try to keep him from leaving because they know whats going on there now? or are they still half asleep and what he says doesnt really sink in for them until hes gone? just curious. :D
anyway, i hope u add on to this, id love to see what happens next. :)
Author's Response: I am pretty sure that you questions will be answered in the next chapter, so it would be unwise of me to tell you now! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but hopefully within a few weeks! Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Hii,
Lyss, I already told you, but I like this a lot :D I like how the characters slip in so easily with the world we know, as if they were always there. Good job.
And you're welcome (although I do realize that doing it over AIM was more difficult than just sending the word doc back... >.>). My pleasure -
Andi
Author's Response: Thank you so much Andi! And yes, it would have been so much easier to send the doc back to me, but it doesn't matter now. :P
