Yay, I’m really pleased to see a sequel. Persephone was fantastic, and hopefully Elisabeth is going to match that.
Sirius and Elisabeth are an interesting coupling. He is quite the jerk towards her, and she sees that, but she gives in to him anyway. I thought she was a bit stronger willed than that, especially when she went to confront him about not coming to visit while she was ill, however then she melted. In one way I want her to follow her instincts and dump him, but on the other hand, I like the romance there. It’s passionate, even if Sirius cheats, and there’s a mutual understanding between them that makes their interaction quite realistic.
Being only chapter two, I suppose we might find out more about this as the plot progresses, but this aspect made the chapter a little disappointing for me. Elisabeth being attacked on the train is never really explored. I can understand she’s preoccupied with Sirius, but she doesn’t take a lot of time to wonder about what happened to her. Now she’s in the main school maybe it’ll be touched upon more, but her attack seemed almost random, and no one seems to question it. If anything, if felt to me like you put her in the hospital wing to develop the Sirius plotline. That’s not a bad thing, I just wish there was a little more substance and context in this chapter to show that Elisabeth was attacked, on what should’ve been a safe trip to school. She herself barely seems to dwell on it.
I was in the hospital wing for three days.
Three days, and he didn’t even come to see me.
I love that paragraph. The repetition of ‘three days’ really emphasises how she feels about his absence, without saying too much, just letting the reader imply. The bluntness shows how angry she is, which made me anticipate what was going to happen. This was a great way to start that section.
Overall, this is a good start and I look forward to reading on. I can’t wait to see where it’s going! xx
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I've been really enjoying writing Elisabeth and Sirius's relationship so far. Re: Elisabeth being attacked--it will definitely be explored more in future chapters. Right now, since nobody really knows much about what happened, and she's been separated from the rest of the school for a few days, she's focusing on Sirius instead.