Awww! I love it!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you do! Thanks for R&Ring. -Maddy
Author's Response: Glad you think so! Thanks for reading&reviewing. -Maddy
Hey, take a wild guess who this might be (ie. your favourite cousin). I'm glad you finally posted one - it was very cute and made me smile. I hope you write more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, fave coz :) Do you know, I'm quite glad I finally posted one too! I do indeed plan to write more, you'll have to wait and see.. :) -Maddy P.S. Muahaha, now I know your penname. It's brilliant, by the way.
This was a very sweet story, and I thought you did a pretty good job of characterising Lily and James, especially Lily. I liked how it took her longer to mature than James, because she's always thought she was the mature one.
I also thought that having their best friends start dating was a good idea, however I would have liked to have seen more of Lily and Pilar's relationship. Although the narrator explained that their differences had never caused them a problem, it seemed to me that Pilar irritated Lily a bit and they didn't seem really close.
I also thought the last sentence was a little superfluous - I know it tied back in with the title and the main idea, but you had already made that point through James' dialogue, and I would have preferred the previous line as the last one (although that's just my opinion!).
I liked that Lily overheard Lacey and Alice's conversation, that was a great plot device, but Alice didn't sit quite right with me. I know she never appears in canon (well at least, not properly), but as she was Neville's mum, this kind of gossipy side didn't quite fit, I thought. But obviously it's possible that she matured a bit later or something.
So anyway, great job, especially for your first fic :).
Author's Response: Do you know, the points you bring up are things I considered; Pilar didn't irritate Lily because she was very sweet, and Lily was fond of her, an almost mothering tendency I'd gleaned about Lily's character. However, you're right, Pilar did annoy LIly a little. I did think the story was long enough without putting additional scenes with Pilar and Lily, though. I had so many issues deciding on the last line! You're quite right, the second last would have worked quite as well. I went with the one I had because it tied back to the title, although you're right, it does sound superfluous seeing as it is in James' dialogue. I was trying to feature an Alice that was a teenaged girl, so yes she was a little bit gossipy, although I tried to counter that by making her seem like she was genuinely happy for her friend. Lacey was supposed to be rather dislikeable, but if Alice was as nice and loyal as I pictured her, she wouldn't spot that. Since Lily had always seemed to hate James, Alice wouldn't have thought it was hurting her. Lacey was jealous of James' attention on Lily, so she would have had a vindictive pleasure that James might be interested in Lacey and not Lily. Thank you for your review, it's quite helpful ! It is my first fic after all, so I'm glad you think I did a good job. -Maddy
I really lyked it
It was cute
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! :) Thanks for reading, -Maddy