Great story! So Hermione-ish and that Ron keeps her from living inside her own head by reminding her of the love in families- even if there is a witch/mortal divide to cross. Would have loved seeing how ron was accepted by the grangers, as we've already seen how hermione was accepted by the weasleys. I thot it was ok that there was a time lapse from the end of the war to Hermione looking for her parents because of the time it would have taken to restabalize the wizarding world- catching remaining death eaters, rebuilding etc. hermione would have wanted to keep her parents safe until she knew everything really was ok in England. And i can see her wanting to help in the aftermath clean-up/ rebuilding of lives as well.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Seems I never have time for fun writing during the semester, but it's still nice to come back to this website during vacations and see that someone had been reading my little one-shots. Happy New Year!
Firstly, I would like to comment that I simply love the interaction (or the bashful way they tease each other) between Ron and Hermione. It seems entirely natural and not awkward at all – unlike other stories.
“Bill told me you didn’t until you were nearly five.”
I really like the humour portrayed. It gives a light touch to the entire story.
“Hermione Granger,” And I really like the way Ron emphasises on her surname- as if to remind Hermione that she is a part of the Granger family and is no stranger to her parents.
The descriptions of the Christmas decorations put up by Hermione’s parents also helped me to visualise the scene which helps a lot. And the fact that you linked the decorations back to her childhood home really serves to emphasise the past.
‘’The sun was juxtaposed oddly against the Christmas decorations, giving them an orange tinge. ‘’
I really like the way you made use of juxtaposition. The direct contrast between the two scenes seems almost vivid. It’s a really clever technique which you made use of.
Generally, this piece of writing was extremely enjoyable. Keep on writing !
Signed the Order of the Ravenclaw House Elves
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing Jane! I love Ron/Hermione, so I'm glad you thought their interaction was realistic... I definitely thought a lot about how to make it cute but not silly. I'm so happy you enjoyed it! -Claire
Lovely story! You've done quite a bit of research and it showed. Your story flowed very naturally through all the Quidditch talk, which can be hard to do. ;) It lends a nice depth to a story, though.
I liked the idea of Hermione going to her parents at Christmas, and of Ron going with her. I did have a question, though: why did she wait so long? The final battle was in May, 1998, so I'm just curious why she waited over a year and a half to go to them. You did mention her trepidation about their new life being better, but addressing the lag in time might be worth adding as well.
I wasn't sure about Ron and Hermione being recognized all the way down in Australia, but it did set up a nice moment for Ron to remind Hermione of her real name - not the name (Wilkins, I assume?) that she had created for her parents. That was a good line.
Their reunion was nicely done - I just would have enjoyed a bit more! It was sweet and very much like I would picture it. I'm hoping her parents will be just as happy with their old life back as they were with their new life.
~Gina via The Order of the Ravenclaw House Elves
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing, Gina!! Yes, I know there is a huge tine lag, but I kind of thought that initially she would have been very eager to find them, and then it would have taken some time to do so and once she did, that's when she would have been more hesitant about actually approaching them. As in, she sees that they're in fact safe and happy, and she starts to question whether she should break em out of the little happy bubble she's created. I sort of see Hermione as someone who can be secretive when she's unsure of herself, instead of asking for a lot of advice, so she's keep finding excuses not to approach them until she realizes she has to eventually...does that make sense at all?? Anyways, I'm so glad you liked the story and I definitely believe te Grangers will be very happy to get their memories back!! :) -Claire
I thought this was an interesting idea and you wrote it really emotionally - I loved the part where Hermione confessed to Ron what she'd been doing, as well as the ending. I also thought you had a good grasp on the characters of Ron and Hermione and your dialogue was good.
I would have liked a few more details, such as how long Ron and Hermione had been in Australia and where they were in Australia - I assumed it was meant to be Sydney or Melbourne because you said Kowari Square was the biggest wizarding market place in the country. Also I think you could have focussed more on the heat and the humidity (unless this was set in the dessert- which would be unlikely as hardly anyone lives there - it's usually very humid at Christmas) and how it was so drastically different to England - I know you touched on this, but I thought perhaps yo ucould have explored it more.
Also, I found the ending quite rushed - from when Hermione confessed to Ron until the end, I felt like I barely understood what had happened and suddenly the story was over. I would have liked to have seen a bit more between Ron and Hermione and a fuller explanation or something.
Anyway... I hope this long-winded review makes some kind of sense. I really enjoyed this fic :).
Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing!! :) I agree the end was rather quick - I spent a lot of time trying to decide what to add and take out, so I definitely understand where you're coming from. In the end, I decided I liked it how it is haha...a more quick moment compared to the long deliberation preceding... but yeah, feedback is appreciated! Anyways, thanks for coming by and for all your comments! They will definitely be helpful for any future stories I write.
*Tears* That was beautiful. :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it :) Come back soon!