Ooh I liked this one it was fitting of Snape's Feeling toward Lily.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. ~Carole
Oh, Carole. This is just... I love it. I'm never going to be in SPEW because when I read something like this I can't even articulate any particular thought well enough. Beautiful job. Well done :)
Author's Response: Awww, thanks Julia. I adore this song so much and Snape seemed the only choice as the bitter character. ~Carole~
Very nice job. I can really see a fifteen year old Snape feeling exactly like this. I'd thought he'd taken his mark later, but that's probably based on Chapter 15 of In the Eyes of Others, as I do not believe canon actually gives a particular date.
I find "I gave you my soul; you gave me a ... scarf," particularly heartbreaking. And while she probably did see his interest, I doubt she understood, as a person loved by many people, just what her friendship and love meant to him, a person so isolated and lonely.
You know, as you've written it, you really show what a prick Lily was.
Not that Severus wasn't reading things into the friendship that might or might not have been there. (JKR did apparently say once that if things had been different Lily might have loved him romantically) or that what he said was all right, but really, she GAVE UP on him.
Real Gryffindors do not give up. They throw effort after effort and good money after bad when they've got a "Project" going. "The best way out is always through" is pure Gryff. I think Lily had a very SlytherClaw moment here, and if you look at it a certain way, she ended up paying for it with her life. I mean, what if she had not given up, and Severus had relented just a bit, and somehow he had never ended up being a Death Eater?
Severus may be a _____ (Fill in with word of one's choice) but it is an undeniable fact that the unkindness of other people helped push him in that direction.
Hm...Maybe I need to write another chapter of that Snape!Fluff.
Oh, yeah, great job! Normally I don't read anything like this, but since it was yours I gave it a shot and I am glad I did.
Author's Response: Oh, Now, I disagree. I think Lily had already thrown too much effort at Snape. There are some points where I think you have to give up and I really don't think Snape was worth all the effort - certainly not the way he defended Mulciber and the others. And although he may not have become a DE, how would she have gained? If she'd showed any interest in another man (like James) then Snape would just emotionally blackmail her into chucking anyone decent. Sorry, I just don;t think that either 'love conquers all' or that it was her responsibility to save him. (This is turning into a rant - please excuse me - hee hee) The other thing is that she did pay with her life, but that was partly his fault. He did relay the Prophecu to Voldemort after all, and in my mind I have no doubt he'd have done bog all if Voldy had decided Neville was the threat. (ends rant)
Now, I didn't mean that he got his Dark Mark that night, simply that by the time of the Christmas of year six he'd definitely thrown in his lot with the DE's.
My favourite line is the scarf line - ha ha - scarves are so innocuously awful as a present - if you're a bloke. I think Lily was partially aware of his feelings, but didn't want to encourage them. JKR said that 'she might have grown to think of him romantically, if he hadn't loved the Dark Arts so much' - that's his tragedy. But on the whole, James was hotter (yes, I am that shallow)
Get back to the Snape!fluff - I liked it a lot. ~Carole~
Aww, that's so sad! Poor Snape! (I never thought I'd say that sentence, either)
That was wonderful. If I thought your stories were amazing, your poetry is even better! Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you - although the credit for the p[oetry flow has to go to Greg Lake for the original. It's easier to re-write than create after all. Glad you liked it. ~Carole~
Carole! Aw, I love this song. And I never thought I'd ever see something vaguely Severus/Lily from you :)
Anyway, I rather do like this. I can feel the song interwoven in it, and you capture Severus' love for Lily perfectly. You've got the whole kinda bittersweet tone down, and I can really relate to Severus.
I really enjoyed this. Sorry I don't have time to give you a better review, but I had to comment :) Thank you xx
Author's Response: Thnaks spire. I'm glad you know the song as otherwise I don't think it works. Hmm, I do write one sided Snape/Lily, just not Au where they end up running off together - ha ha. Thank you for the review. ~Carole~