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Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: kritchen (Signed) · Date: 07/09/11 21:29 · For: Mother's Girl, Father's Girl
I'll start with this: my OTP is Andromeda/Ted, My stories mainly revolve around them. I'm currently reading stories by others of these two. :)

I absolutely love the set up of this story. It's unique and flows so well. It also shows a very different perspective into Andromeda than any I've seen yet. The progression of her character from just a little girl to her sorting and then her family confrontation... It's stunning really. I also love the way you portrayed her. My portrayal of the two has a lot of similiarities, such as the sorting hat wavering between Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Another similiarity is Ted's occupation after Hogwarts. It's only briefly mentioned in my one-shot but I love that you see him the same. Simply put, your work is refreshing and fantastic. I enjoyed it a lot. :)

Author's Response: Hello kritchen! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. I love Ted/Andromeda as well and I am glad to hear that you think I did justice to the pairing. Andromeda is such an interesting character in my mind, because she can be written so many different ways and still fit with the canon given. And, to be honest, there is something about the Black girls that I just find fascinating. Anyways, I hadn't checked out your work before but I, too love to read a good T/A so I will definitely be heading over to your page soon. Again, thank you so much! Your review made my day :) -Claire

Name: lucca4 (Signed) · Date: 04/30/11 11:21 · For: Mother's Girl, Father's Girl

Wow, I’m glad I clicked on this story. I thought the little snippets from different times in Andromeda’s life were done so well. I loved reading the story as her character evolved, though she was still recognizably a Black and the Andromeda from before. It was a really, really nice read and wonderful writing all around.

Your flawless characterization of Andromeda really stood out to me. I liked how she felt apart from the rest of the family, as middle children often do, and how she was neither ‘mother’s girl’ nor ‘father’s girl.’ I thought it was clever how you used her feeling of isolation to shape the person she was to become — one who could form her own opinions on things without being influenced by her mother or her father. I liked the parallel between how she wanted so desperately to be a Slytherin and fit in at the beginning, to the end where she wants nothing to do with her family anymore. I loved how you showed her growth, from an insecure girl at age eleven, to a confident woman in the end. Each age you showed her at was portrayed so accurately that as a reader I could really watch her grow. I thought this was perhaps one of the strongest points in the story. Your main character was characterized so fully, so three-dimensionally that it made her a joy to read about.

I thought your calling Narcissa ‘Mother’s girl’ and Bellatrix ‘Father’s girl’ really gave great insight to their characters. I thought they were wonderfully written, as well. You can tell Bellatrix’s fanaticism from the beginning, when she wants her sister to be absolutely perfect and be Sorted into Slytherin immediately. She’s intimidating, and has a power over people that is visible even at age fourteen. Narcissa is prim and perfect, perhaps not as fanatical as Bellatrix but upholding of her family’s beliefs all the same. I also thought it was interesting that, as the story progressed, you could tell that the girls were getting older and turning into the people they were to become by how their hair appeared. It was a really intriguing part of the story to add, and worked very well to show the coming-of-age of all the characters and what that entailed.

Just a minor nitpick: after Andromeda gets Sorted, she says “I think she just rude” , it probably should be “she’s just rude” or “she is just rude”. Just to let you know, but it didn’t take away from the rest of the story at all.

One part that I really, really loved was how when Andromeda met Ted for the first time in a long time, she could only think of him as a Mudblood, a dirty thing. I thought that was so realistic, because in so many stories we read Andromeda is simply born with the ideas that Muggleborns should be equal with half- and pure-blood witches and wizards. Your way is so much more intriguing, because it shows how her meeting Ted proved to her that her family’s ideals weren’t all correct. It was a good turning point in that it let Andromeda think for herself for once instead of being influenced by her family.

Your writing is lyrical and beautiful to read. I was hooked by the first sentence and how even though it was from the point of view of Andromeda at an early age, the simple writing was so gorgeous. You pulled off the present-tense usage wonderfully…I only realized it was actually present-tense about halfway through the story, and it amazed me because in many of the stories I’ve read it becomes awkward after a while. Yours definitely didn’t, in fact it added to the lovely natural rhythm that your words seem to have.

Really great job with this story! I don’t read much about Andromeda and the Black sisters, but I thought your story was so unique and wonderfully done.

Xx Ariana

Author's Response: What a sweet surprise to log on after so long and see such a nice review! I'm so glad that you clicked on the story, too! The most fun part about writing this, for me, was trying to explore Andromeda's voice at every point from a very little girl up to an (essentially) fully grown woman. I like Andromeda a lot because, unlike many of the other Potter characters, she seems (to me) to be an essentially ordinary person who has had to build up a lot of strength because of the life she was born into. She tries and fails and tries again and eventually realizes that maybe she has to kind of "forge her own path" - not because of any intrinsic rebellious feeling, but because it's really the only way. As you said, a lot of it is because of how she didn't really, as her sisters did, fit into either of the two pre-described roles that her family offered. It is so nice to hear that you thought the first person worked - I feel like I find it easier to do, even though I don't know that it always ends up making a better piece of writing. Anyways, thanks so much for reading and leaving such a kind review! It was a great motivator to get back to the writing which I've been meaning to do! -Claire

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 01/09/11 13:55 · For: Mother's Girl, Father's Girl
Good work! A good little piece on independence and morals. Keep writing.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. -Claire

Name: The_Real_Hermione (Signed) · Date: 12/20/10 18:03 · For: Mother's Girl, Father's Girl
I liked how you explored Andromeda's character in a slightly different way to what I've read before, with the whole "father's daughter" and "mother's daughter" idea. It was really effective. I have to say, the first few bits were my favourites, because it shows that Andromeda is like any other girl and just wants to please her parents. I also liked how you explored Bella's descent into madness/insanity.

Just one small thing - you've written Bella never has a probably spitting at Muggle-borns... - I presume you mean 'problem' not 'probably'?

Anyway, this was a sweet story and I really enjoyed it. Oh and I don't think I've said yet... the idea of doing snapshots across her life was a really good idea, it really showed how she changed gradually, not all at once. Great job, especially for your first fic!!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it :) I really like Andromeda because to me, she really does seem like a normal girl who was somewhat 'stuck in the middle.' She didn't really know where she belonged and felt I guess...alienated in a sense. I think that's something we all go through, but for her the stakes were much higher. Gradually, as you said, she had to adjust in a way that fit her, not her Mum or Dad or whomever else. Thanks for the feedback and for spotting that mis-type. I'll need to go in and fix those. But anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing!!

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