I think that is miserably sad. We never really got to know Michael Corner in the books, but you've built that one tiny reference into a piece that makes me want to cry.
I love the character development with Filch. It's always good to see a character we despise doing something good. It's good writing.
Author's Response: Thank you. Even if it was miserably sad and made you want to cry, I'm glad you thought it was good.
Michael Corner's never really someone I've thought about admiring (after all, he's not Harry or Neville or Ginny as you said) but I can't help but really admire him here. Despite quite high risks, he goes out and saves a complete stranger. That takes a lot of courage - and compassion. And I like that you gave a sense of him doing this in the past - not for such high stakes, but helping out someone he doesn't necessarily know or like despite what he might want.
You also really brought forth the fear of Hogwarts under the Carrows, and just how much of the old Hogwarts they've lost; it feels like a battle zone. And I like that you showed how avoiding the wrath of the Carrows/fighting back against them kind of unites people regardless of house.
You surprised me with characterization in a few places. The first one wasn't really a surprise so much as a whoa, character detail for Amycus. I kind of like that you fleshed him out a bit by adding a small detail like him smoking a smelly pipe. It definitely fits. And then Filch - whoa, actually not condoning torture and helping Michael and Mercy get away? I kind of like it, though I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it. I mean, this is the man who was all excited that Umbridge was going to give him permission to flog students or something. But then he never did get what he wanted and maybe once he did he lost his taste for it - and anyway the Carrows probably went a lot farther than even Filch wanted to. I shudder to think what that girl went through. It's kind of yet another way that you show how much Hogwarts has changed, that Filch is almost one of the good guys.
A last point - I want to know what happened next! Even though I know Michael got tortured, a part of me really hopes the girl got away. Probably stupidly hopeful of me. You really had me on the edge of my seat hoping for them to get away and wondering what would happen to them right up to the very last paragraph - and past, given that I'm still thinking about it.
All in all, this was a pretty heartbreaking look at what Hogwarts was like in not-so-happy days. Thanks for a great read and an interesting look at a minor character.
Author's Response: Minna! That was such a beautiful, kind review! Thank you so much! I agree about Michael -- he wasn't someone I thought of admiring either, at least until I thought about what Neville had said, and decided to write this fic. As for what happens next... We'll see if a sequel comes along. It may or may not, though. Just keep that in mind.
Once again, thank yoooou! Mwah! *squishes*
So sad. But it was so well written, I loved Filch's kindness! It's what I most loved about the whole thing. It was so well written, I kept hoping they would escape, even though I knew they wouldn't.
Author's Response: Thanks! Filch has got to have a heart hidden somewhere, right?
This is a really good story - I like the way you have chosen just a passing comment and turned it into a proper story. Your characterization is really thought-provoking, and shows how it's not just Gryffindors who showed great bravery during the reign of the Carrows at Hogwarts. I always like a good story about the trials of the students who remained at Hogwarts, as JK doesn't go into great detail about it in the book. All round a good use of language and a great read!!!
Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! I'm glad you liked it.
:'( that was really good. love the name choice
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I love the irony of the name Mercy as well.
This was a very good D/A, especially if it's your first one. It was nice being able to see Michael in a different light, and not just as Ginny's ex-boyfriend.
But in regards to the layout, I think the start dragged on a bit too much, and the 'action' scenes were a bit too short.
As for Filch, I think he was a little OOC when he showed mercy. But then again, we don't know what he thought of the Carrows, so it really isn't my place to tell you he was OOC!
The portrayal of Amycus was great. Really creepy, just as he is in canon.
Just one tiny nitpick: In the fifth paragraph from the bottom you've written Room of Requirement. But then you've written it again, in the second paragraph from the bottom, as room of requirement. I suggest you choose one or the other. My copy of DH has it capitalised.
Your desciption is excellent. "A spider crawled past on the floor by his feet, just a shade darker than the darkness that surrounded him" -- that sentence, and others, were really evocative.
I also really liked the ending. This final sentance -- "A lone tear slid down his face" -- tied it all together perfectly.
All in all, a great D/A. You really pushed tesion and anxiety into this fic. I hope you continue to write D/As, because you're awfully good at them!
Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading. Yeah, the beginning does drag a bit, but originally that bit was a drabble by itself; it wasn't supposed to have any real action stuff. The rest was added on to make it a one-shot.
As for Filch... let's agree to disagree. I think Filch is much more complex than what we see in the books.
I will take care of the Room/room thing momentarily, thanks for pointing that out!
I'm glad you liked it overall. Thank you so much for your helpful review!
This was great. I love the insight into such an unknown character, but my favorite part had to be Filch - you capture his peculiar shade of grey perfectly.
The ambiguity of what exactly the punishments are for students really heightened the suspense. You left me wanting to know more! Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking that Filch wasn't all bad, merely a peculiar shade of grey, as you said. I doubt Dumbledore would have kept him if he was all that bad. Thank you for your lovely review, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Author's Response: Thanks. =)
This was a really nice depiction of Michael Corner and filled him out a bit more than the books do, your characterisation was lovely. I wasn't too sure about Filch... I thought it was great, showing another side to him, but the Filch from the books was in a way quite one-dimensional so I just wonder whether or not it's believable. But then again, you made it work and it worked really effectively for the suspense of your story. And it makes you think, too, about how often the bad people get cold feet...
Anyway, back to your story, it was very well-written. I have to say, I found the beginning bit dragged on just a little too long... perhaps you could have interspersed some of that with the action?
Also I loved the irony of Mercy's name, very well picked for her character and as a title.
Just one other small thing - I'm not sure if you really need the last sentence... somehow I think it's more effective without it, but that's just my humble opinion.
Anyway, sorry I'm rambling on here... it was a very moving/haunting story and you managed to deal with some quite heavy themes without melodrama and I really loved it :).
Author's Response: Thank you! I agree with everything you said: I wasn't sure Filch would do that either, but I decided he needed something to redeem him; the beginning does drag a bit, since it is all internal pondering, but that part, the internal pondering, is the drabble that the rest of the one shot was built off of; I enjoyed the irony of Mercy's name as well; and it could do without the last sentence, but somehow, I rather like that line, so... I don't know that I shall part with it.
I love rambles! Don't worry about it. I'm glad you thought it moving/haunting. That's what I was going for.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
i would like to have a "like" button to push a hundred times. this is very well written, and you did a good job in making filch humane =)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it so much. I am flattered that you think it well written. And Filch... Filch needed to show that he wasn't a soul-less vegetable sometime. No one ever seems to consider what Filch's reaction to the Carrow's regime at Hogwarts was.
Thanks for reading! And for reviewing!!
Are you going to do any more? I thought for sure he was caught with Filch. I liked the surpise of him not turning him in but then being caught anyway in the end.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and no, I don't think I'll be doing any more of this story. It was meant to be a one-shot. I decided that Filch couldn't be entirely heartless, but Michael was doomed to be caught from the start...
That was really good, especially for your first Dark/Angsty. I really liked Michael's inner monologue, about him helping people. It sheds a better light on him than I can think of - you know, the fact that he was Ginny's ex - and I think you portrayed his character very well. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! I figured that Michael must be a better person than what Harry's thoughts show us in the series, if he risked torture for a first year. I'm glad you enjoyed my first D/A.