I really enjoyed the first three chapters, are you planning to continue? If not, you should! I think it will be really interesting to see how Tom turns out, he is also one of my favourite HP characters. I think you have created the perfect character voice for Ginny, PLEASE update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I am definitely planning to continue... I'm sorry I have not done so earlier. I lose track of where I have updated this story and where I have not. I hope you'll keep reading and I'll do Tom and Ginny justice!
Your description of the first paragraph was a rather commendable effort.
However, I have noticed that the word ‘’ roared ‘’ was repeated twice in a row (next few lines). It might just be a personal reference but I feel that the sentence will flow more smoothly if you make use a wide range of vocabulary. . You can probably use others word of the same meaning or intensity to replace the second repeated verb.
Characterisation wise, I really like your portrayal of Ginny and Luna Lovegood (one of my favourite characters)-particularly their exchange which was humorous in a way.
That’s all! Keep writing!
~ Jane (princessbipolar)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! You're absolutely right; 'roared' twice in one sentence does sound silly. Funny story: I opened my main story document to find the problem and was like "what the heck is she talking about?" and it turns out I uploaded this chapter based on an older file of the story! The first 'roared' should be 'shrieked'! Oh man... I need to figure out how to re-upload. Thanks for catching that. I'm glad you liked Luna. I have to say she is seriously one of the hardest characters to write. I'm having trouble with her as the story gets more serious and sometimes I just don't know how to handle her. Wish me luck!
I'm so very glad I found this story. As morbid as it is, I have to admit that Tom Riddle is one of my favourite characters. I am simply intrigued by him, and this happens to be one of the first fanfics I've read with him in it.
The way you write makes me want to read on, and I'm sure this will be a very enjoyable read when you submit further chapters.
Author's Response: Tom is one of my favorite characters to write about! He doesn't feature prominently until a few chapters in, but before long you'll be seeing a lot of him. :] I just have to get all I've started writing beta'ed before I keep posting. Thanks so much for reviewing! I hope you'll come back!