MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
11/17/10 23:45 · For:
I enjoyed this fic - I thought you got into Andromeda's character really well. It was a great moment to place the story, and I liked your idea that she's more in shock and can't cry yet, but when Harry comes and takes responsibility away from her (by taking Teddy) that she can finally let go.
Unfortunately, I didn't quite like your Harry - I know he's only in the fic for a few lines, but some of his dialogue didn't quite sit right with me. I would have imagined him to have been more nervous when he arrived and not quite so good at saying what he meant. But maybe that's just my interpretation of him. I did like the last line thought, and how it connected to the beginning and brought Harry and Andromeda together nicely.
Another little nitpick - you've written "Therefore, she was considerably unsurprised to see Harry Potter..." - the considerably unsurprised seems a little awkward to me, perhaps something like 'not at all surprised' would have worked better?
Anyway, in general I did like this fic and how you showed Andromeda.
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I've never been very good with Harry for some reason-- that's why I don't write about him very often. Thank you for writing in!