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Reviews For Forever Entwined

Name: socks2 (Signed) · Date: 03/12/13 7:45 · For: Forever Entwined
really well done--a beautiful love story in vignettes; love the style and the characterization!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Your review made my day :) xx Ariana

Name: SFIE (Signed) · Date: 10/29/12 13:34 · For: Forever Entwined
This was a very cute story I liked it alot

Author's Response: Thank you! xx Ariana

Name: PrincessSarah (Signed) · Date: 06/27/11 0:04 · For: Forever Entwined
I loved it!

Author's Response: Thanks! That makes me so happy. xx Ariana

Name: fred_ron_weasley (Signed) · Date: 02/28/11 9:59 · For: Forever Entwined
That was so sweet!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) xx Ariana

Name: The_Real_Hermione (Signed) · Date: 01/03/11 16:52 · For: Forever Entwined
I really liked how you developed Rose's character... I think that's the best thing about this fic. Showing all the small scenes over her years at Hogwarts was perfect, it really showed her growing up and changing, but still staying the same. I thought Scorpius would have been more angry or hurt or something at the end, though. Rather than just kissing her, perhaps they would have argued or something first? Otherwise I thought you did a really good job of him.

So yeah, great story, I enjoyed it a lot :).

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked Rose's character…I'll probably write more of her later simply because I feel like I got to know her so well after writing her through the years. With Scorpius's reaction…he sees that Rose is truly remorseful, and that she's really worried that she's too late, and doesn't want to hurt her or push her away when she's finally opening up to him. Afterward they'll probably have a more serious discussion. Thanks again, so much! xx Ariana

Name: Immunity (Signed) · Date: 12/30/10 20:31 · For: Forever Entwined
Oh my, that was such a sweet story.

Personally, I like the way you split the parts of the story into individual years. It also makes the story much more smoother. Furthermore, I can see the changes of Rose's character and attitude towards Scorpius much more easily.

The awkward relationship and date between Robert and Rose was also described perfectly.

Keep on writing!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much for taking the time to review! I'm glad you liked the format of the story…I was worried it would be too choppy for some people :). Haha, and I'm glad you liked the part about Robert, that was really fun to write. Thanks again for reviewing! xx Ariana

Name: Immunity (Signed) · Date: 12/30/10 20:29 · For: Forever Entwined
Oh my, that was such a sweet story.

Personally, I like the way you split the parts of the story into individual years. It also makes the story much more smoother. Furthermore, I can see the changes of Rose's character and attitude towards Scorpius much more easily.

The awkward relationship and date between Robert and Rose was also described perfectly.

Keep on writing!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much for taking the time to review! I'm glad you liked the format of the story, I was worried it would be too choppy for some people :). Haha, and I'm glad you liked the part about Robert, that was really fun to write. Thanks again for reviewing! xx Ariana

Name: DobbyDeath (Signed) · Date: 12/29/10 9:04 · For: Forever Entwined
awww i love this story! so cute! oh i wish you had a seen where you made Rose bring him to meet her parents. that wouldve been funny. but aw, that was romantic. very sweet.
the only things are the parent thing i said and i wish Hugo fit sonewhere in the story at least once. but oh well. great fic and i love your writing.

Author's Response: Hi, there! Thanks for your review :). Perhaps I'll write a sequel-type one-shot with Rose bringing Scorpius to meet her parents…there's a definite possibility of that. And I'll include Hugo in that, if I ever do. Thank you so much for that lovely review! xx Ariana

Name: erinbee_23 (Signed) · Date: 12/09/10 8:37 · For: Forever Entwined
very fluffy but i liked it a lot :) what will ron say???

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :) I'm so glad you liked it even though it was pretty fluffy. I expect Ron will grumble a lot at first, as he's always held onto his opinions quite tightly, but eventually he will see that Scorpius is not his father, and Rose is happy. Thanks again for reviewing! xx Ariana

Name: h_vic (Signed) · Date: 11/14/10 2:33 · For: Forever Entwined
I think what I enjoyed most about this story, Ariana, was the way in which you managed to write Rose across the entirety of her teens and show her growing and maturing but yet remaining the same character at the core – the girl who went back to Scorpius at the end was recognisably the same girl who first walked away from him on the train, but just older and wiser. That's quite a difficult progression to handle, particularly when you are doing it in such a short span of words and with such brief scenes, rather than having the luxury of following that growth more extensively (like in canon for example), but I think you really succeeded in it.

I also think you managed really well at capturing each age and maintaining the distinction between the different ages. I particularly liked that peculiarly childish mix of uncertainty about going to Hogwarts and yet certainty that her dad must be right, and only seeing the world in terms of black and white that Rose has at eleven. I think my favourite scene though was Year 3. It made me cringe, because it made me vividly recall the awkward, self-consciousness of being thirteen that you captured perfectly, where of course falling over in public would have been the end of the world. I loved the little details too like Rose knowing the age difference to her crush to the day – they seemed so very much like the silly obsessiveness that exists at that age and show the care that you clearly put in to making the characters sound appropriate to their age.

The only place that the age-appropriate feel to the characterisation broke down a little for me was in Rose's relationship with her mother, because it struck me as being more like that of a younger teen and her mother than a grown up mother-daughter relationship. I find it totally plausible that Hermione could have been tidying/throwing out Rose's things (because mothers never seem to lose that instinct to tidy up after you no matter how old you get), but the way Hermione was so brazen about demanding Rose explain the letter as if she had a right to know (which she doesn't given that Rose is an adult who happens to be living at home rather than a child still under her parents' care) and the way Rose was so accepting of that just didn't entirely sit right for me.

I know that Hermione was intervening out of concern that Rose had made a choice for all the wrong reasons rather than any autocratic purpose, but whilst I could see Ron blundering in bullishly, I do wonder if perhaps Hermione might show a little more respect for her daughter's privacy and the fact that Rose is a grown woman, so her choices are her own concern no matter how wrong they might be, and approach the issue a little more circumspectly, given how she generally seems to react with a certain amount of patience in canon to Harry and Ron being stupid about things even when she clearly just wants to bang their heads together.

I did really enjoy though how you have clearly thought carefully about Rose's characterisation, because so often the fanon-accepted characterisation of her seems to be as Hermione version 2, which can get quite tiresome and repetitive, so I love when authors are willing to take a risk and break out of that mould. I see a lot more of Ron in your Rose than Hermione, and that makes her so much fresher and more original to read. You've created a great balance between her being a very sympathetic character, who I can empathise with, and a character who at times I want to strangle for being so blinkered, especially with the really effective way that you highlight her immaturity when she ends her relationship with Scorpius by drawing the direct parallel with her walking away on the train.

I do hope you choose to write her again at some stage, because she seems so richly developed and at the end of the story I found myself wanting more (not because the story felt in any way incomplete but because I enjoyed reading about your Rose so much).

I think though, I'd have liked to get to know Scorpius a little better. Inevitably, with the love interest character, the reader is always going to get the main character's idealised view of them, which limits the depth that it's easy to develop and is something I know I always struggle with when I'm writing pairing-based stories, but whilst I liked him and I could see what attracted Rose to him and how they worked as a couple (which was great because that's something so many stories seem to lack), I didn't feel like I entirely got what made him tick (although, seeing him as a Healer at the end was great because it did give me a little more insight and was a nice touch).

I love to see clichés twisted and played with and made new and original, and so I really enjoyed what you did with the Romeo and Juliet motif that gets so overused with these two. It was very effective how in reality the problem was all in Rose's head and how in fact it wasn't their families keeping them apart at all but Rose herself and her own false expectations and insecurities. It was a much subtler way of creating conflict and much more enjoyable for that.

You say about a fluffiness warning, but I really wouldn't say this is a particularly fluffy story – as Paige reminded me in a review recently, fluff implies a lack of substance, which is definitely not a charge that could be levelled at this story. Yes, it has a happy ending, but it's a well deserved happy ending won through a struggle and a great deal of personal growth, which makes the ending feel both fitting and satisfying.

All-in-all, I thoroughly enjoyed this story, Ariana.


Author's Response: Wow. This is one of the best reviews I have ever received in my whole life :). Thank you so, SO much for that, SPEW buddy! And I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to respond -- RL is literally killing me. Anyways, I'm so glad you liked seeing Rose through the years! I was a little hesitant to write it like that, because I didn't want it to seem choppy or broken up, but I liked being able to write Rose at so many different points of her life. I am so happy you thought she was, for the most part, age-appropriate. With the Rose-and-her-Mother scene ... rereading that part makes me see what you mean. I'm not very good at writing Hermione in general, and I think I over-exaggerated her compassion (if that's the right word?) and insistence that her daughter not live and grow up in a hate-filled world as Hermione herself did. But I think I focused too much on Hermione and not realizing that Rose wasn't a little girl anymore, even at nineteen. I'm so glad you liked the characterization of Rose -- it was sort of nerve-wracking to write her because she's Next-Gen, and therefore almost completely unknown. I think her Ron-ness was a little inadvertent ... probably came from me trying so hard not to make her miniHermione :)). Hmm, Scorpius ... I do think I could have written about him more. It was difficult writing him in this story because while I like Rose, I have a work-in-progress with Scorpius/...NotRose. So it was a little more difficult for me to write him and I think that's why he doesn't appear as much as he should, which really just goes to show that I'm sort of a cowardly writer :). And I'm glad you didn't think the Forbidden Love was clichéd. In some S/R stories I've read, it definitely is a rewrite of Romeo and Juliet, as you said, and I was trying to create something that wouldn't necessarily be a forbidden love, but it wouldn't be an easy love, either. I'm doubly happy that you don't think it's fluffy, by the way! I loved Rose too much to give her a sad ending, and I thought the result was a bit sappy. All in all, I am so excited that you enjoyed reading this! Thank you for this amazingly wonderful review, Hannah! I was blown away by how observant you are. You definitely deserved that SPreviEW award :) . Thanks again! xx Ariana

Name: September December (Signed) · Date: 11/10/10 10:17 · For: Forever Entwined
Really cute! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!

Name: EmmyT (Signed) · Date: 11/09/10 9:41 · For: Forever Entwined
Brilliant! I don't really read Scorpius/Rose, but I really enjoyed this. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :).

Name: chattyswimmer (Signed) · Date: 11/08/10 14:10 · For: Forever Entwined
Awww...I've been reading more and more Rose/Scorpius, and reading this has solidified the fact that they are becoming one of my favorite ships!! Very fluffy, but then again, fluffy for me is a necessity. Most of the time :). Well done, I enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Yes, Rose/Scorpius is a pairing I'm just getting into as well. I'm very glad the fluffiness didn't overwhelm you and burn your eyes out ^.^ Thank you so much for reading, and especially for taking the time to review!

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/08/10 14:04 · For: Forever Entwined
Awwwwwhhh... that was soooo cute, anf fluffy and rainbows and butterflies. Too cute. It was like reading warm chocolate for the soul. ^.^ Nice one!!
Particularly liked the fact that stuborn little Rose did not read the letter. And then Hermione rushed in to the rescue. Love this paring!!

Author's Response: Ahh, yes, as I reread this the amount of fluff is beginning to jump out at me :P. I'm glad you liked it anyway! Thank you so much for your review.

Name: xxbabewithbrainsxx (Signed) · Date: 11/08/10 9:19 · For: Forever Entwined
Aw, that was so sweet! I laughed out loud on the bit about braces. Scorose is definitely one of my favourites, and you portrayed their story of love very well. Nice one!


Author's Response: Haha--yes, that bit was very fun to write! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story :).

Name: leftrightmiddle (Signed) · Date: 11/07/10 17:18 · For: Forever Entwined
Very fluffly.. but still niice! Nice job

Author's Response: Thank you so much, for reading and reviewing!

Name: Evora (Signed) · Date: 11/07/10 17:15 · For: Forever Entwined
Dearest Ariana,

Do you how much I literally 'squee-ed' when I saw this? Here I was, innocently doing my essay homework that was assigned a month ago and due tomorrow, then I suddenly saw this - imagine my utter surprise (and ultimate delight, of course). Oh, friend, this was heart-achingly lovely. Bittersweet 'twas defined/ how beautiful like when the stars aligned! (I just said a poem, cor!) Anyway, I'm sorry I can't leave a very coherent review, and a SPEW-worthy one, but you see, if I would, my membership qualification would be questioned.

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. I like how Rose isn't sappy (it makes me feel like I'm her), and I LOOOOVE how Scorpius is shy and timid at first but kind. Then he all went opposite of it, but still kept that side of him. Then he went and became a Healer - which I think is sexy. Oh bleeding, sodding hell, I love this.

Thank you so much! I wish it wasn't so bittersweet, but then if it weren't, I probably wouldn't have loved it as much. A million and one thanks, Ariana (and a box of your favourite doughnuts, too).

One more thing: I LOVE THIS.

Author's Response: Dinny! Thank you for reviewing! :) Your review means so much to me. I am so, so glad that you ended up liking it--I had no idea how it was going to turn out, considering I've never written Scorpius/Rose before. I was afraid of making it too fluffy (though it sort of already is :D) if there was completely sweet and romantic and lacked the bitterness. I'm so happy you liked it anyway! And don't worry about ever leaving me a SPEW review--this one works just fine! xx Ariana

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