Aw. I mean, aw! That was so cute! I liked the bit when Sirius asked Andromeda about if she's pregnant. That really made me LOL. And I really feel for people like her who have their loved ones - her dad, in this case - switching on her. That's really sad. Anyway, lovely story. Keep it up!
Author's Response: I think this is my favourite so far out of the series. The part with Sirius was may favourite too. I was writing it and then I read it out loud and was like, 'Oh man! It sounds like she's pregnant!' So I decied to add that in. Thanks!
Hey! Oh, I haven’t read a good ol’ Andromeda/Ted story in too long. I love your characterisation of Ted. I like that he’s quite sweet, and you show that he’s very genuine, but he’s also sure that he wants Andromeda and won’t let himself be distracted from his goal -- which is to propose. And he’s kind of the perfect boyfriend -- being there for her the whole time, supportive as her relationship with her family falls apart.
A lot happens in this story, and the plot moves quite quickly. That’s not a bad thing, but I think that impacts on making the transitions between scenes a little choppy in places, and it also makes it harder for me to relate to Andromeda. I think if the story was a bit longer, the flow would’ve been better, and you could‘ve built on some ideas more. On Andromeda -- in some parts I find I just don’t really understand her motivations. Marriage is a big deal, and she considers it seriously -- I like that the Quidditch match propels her to accept his proposal -- I thought that was a good plot device. Her consideration of marriage was where I could relate with her the most. The main part where I didn’t really connect with Andromeda was the first scene with Narcissa, though. It’s obvious that Narcissa is quite a sly character, and I don’t understand what makes Andromeda trust her. I know they’re sisters, but after being a member of the Black family for seventeen years, I would’ve thought she’d know better than to trust anybody in it to quite that degree. It just surprised me a bit that she would be so trusting of her sister with something so important.
I haven’t read your other fic, so maybe my question’s answered there -- but throughout I was quite confused as to whether Ted and Andromeda were in a public relationship. When anybody comments on their relationship she seems quite angry, almost, but to me they don’t seem to hide themselves -- for example Andromeda running to Ted’s bedside when he’s hurt.
While I‘m on that train of thought, I really liked the hospital wing scenes. They showed the closeness between the two well, partly because she wasn’t sure if Ted could hear but spoke anyway, keeping him company and letting him know she was there -- looking out for him. I think it made her acceptance of his proposal a little more meaningful, since he can’t respond to her, but at the same time, he can, and he squeezes her hand. I just thought that was really sweet, and romantic. That scene characterises the couple, in a way.
The part where she tells her parents about her engagement was played well. I like the quick exchange of dialogue, I like that I can “hear” how it all plays out in my head, without you using too many dialogue tags. There was one thing about it that I questioned a bit, though: but I had never heard Father speak to me in that tone. I was his little girl; we had always had a strong connection. If they had such a strong connection I would imagine her decision would hurt him, but enough that he would discard her so quickly and decisively? It just made me stop twice; maybe if we knew more detail about his character, their relationship, it would be clearer why he reacts as he does.
I loved the ending however. It has such a perfect balance between bittersweet and happy, that I’m not sure which one I think it is. Probably both. And I loved the inclusion of the wave she shares with the girl too, it makes me think of Dora -- almost like this whole situation with the little house and child is what Andromeda and Ted will be content with in a few years time.
Overall, I really enjoyed this. I’ll have to go back and look at the prequel to this when I have a moment :) xx
Author's Response: Wow, this made me smile. I'm so glad you liked it! Your thoughts are very helpful too! Thank you sooo much. :)
I'm glad you added a sequel to Boy oh Boy, I felt like it needed some more at the end of that. This was a sweet story and I really liked it, however there were a few small grammatical mistakes (eg "I was be disowned" instead of I would be disowned) and in some cases I thought you over-wrote Andromeda's thoughts, when to the reader they were obvious by her actions.
But otherwise it was sweet and nicely written. Great fic :).
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the comments.