Yay! First comment! Though you'll probably be wanting to hear from someone other than me, someone you don't know...But I'm here anyway!
It's a sad poem...and you can actually rhyme. I can't. You know I can't. I remember my last attempt with poetry. I know you were laughing at me. You're loads better, and this poem was well written.
'Too maimed for that was his soul...He had failed in his ultimate goal.'
And it seems correct. Volders can feel regret, and after all that happened, there definitely wouldn't be any other feeling left. Regret and anger at the fact that he hadn't been able to succeed, that he had lost everything he had ever worked for in one slip-up. Good job. *pats Saif's head*
Author's Response: Couldn't have asked for a better first reviewer! Thanks a lot! I'm thinking I should write a few more poems before attempting a proper fic.