Y'know, I completely agree: the two of them are really thick, really trying to get to each other, and realllllllly in love. Your fic captured this perfectly. Congrats! This is my second read-through.
Author's Response: Ah, thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.
Ooh, this was delish. I usually prefer my R/Hr to end with them pressed up against a wall and snogging madly, but this amounts to a pair of lovely missing moments, and I know how things end canonically... so all is good.
Your characterization is very good, particularly Hermione. I especially loved the paragraph about how she plans and the desired result should be something certain, but not in this case. And honestly, I haven't given a lot of thought to how painful it would be for to share a room with the other girls, particularly Lavender and Pavarti, who would have been squeeing for months over Ron while Hermione (still shunning the Muffliato spell) had to endure whatever she overheard. Talk about salt in the wounds... poor Hermione. Nice ending... this was a fun read for this die hard R/Hr shipper.
Author's Response: Oooh, Lori, thank you for stopping by! It was pretty fun to write Hermione's part, actually, as I've always thought myself to be like her... Anyway, I'm glad you liked it, despite the lack of snogging. ;)
Author's Response: Shortest. Review. You've. Ever. Given. =P Thanks, dear.
that was a good story!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
Im glad I read this it seemed good so I clicked on your banner on the forum. It caught the jealosy the two shared. If J K Rowling put a point of view of Ron (in 4th book) and Hermione (6th book) it would be like this. Thanks for writing
Author's Response: Thank you for reading, Alyssa! And I'm glad you liked my banner, I like it, too. Banners are awesome. =D
One of my favourite artists writes a smashing Romione as well! SQUEE!
I absolutely adored this! You wrote both characters very convincingly, letting them wallow in self-pity and despair in the most fitting voice possible. I equally liked Ron ad Hermione’s parts, though Ron’s made me laugh out more. Hermione’s was bittersweet.
My sole nitpick has to do with the inconsistency in Hermione’s part. You start off in the Simple Present Tense, and then:
Jealousy. What a bitter emotion. Hermione thought she had dealt with it before, watching Ron’s slack jawed gaze whenever they had been in the vicinity of Fleur Delacour. But this… this was the real thing.
From here to the next three paras, the tense has shifted to Simple Past. If you fix that, it would be even more fabulous.
I must say, I am excited to see what else you come up with. This was a great first story.
Author's Response: Natalie! Thank you for reading my first one-shot! (I'm afraid you are under a misaprehension. This is not my first story, merely my first story with only one chapter. =D)
Your review has made me feel quite amazing. I love hearing that people adore my work, whether drawing or writing. You have now complemented both. =D Thank you so much for pointing out the tense inconsistency, I shall be sure to fix it soon.
Thank you for stopping by! Feel free to come again! Haha.
nice! good job
Author's Response: Thank you.
nice! good job
Author's Response: Again, thank you.
I really enjoyed seeing inside the minds of Ron and Hermione during the most jealous times betweem them, although books apart. It's nice to see their side when we usually only see Harry's! I wish it would have continued to show a scene from Deathly Hallows, that would have been interesting. Great job, thanks for sharing : )
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. "I wish it would have continued to show a scene from Deathly Hallows." Actually, I have another R/H fic that is Hermione's pov during certain parts of Deathly Hallows. If you are that interested, perhaps you should read it!
Thank you for reading!
I absolutely loved this one-shot. Personally I think that your writing is very easy to read and you wrote the characters very well. What I really like about the one-shot - and what i'm personally looking for in a fanfiction - is the fact that it is the orignially HP story but more focused on Hermione/Ron. Wouldn't it be amazing if you wrote the Harry Potter story and put the Voldemort stuff on the background, still there ofcourse it's an amazing story, and focused on Hermione/Ron relationship like you did in this one-shot. Ofcourse with your own scenes and cute jealousy between Ron and Hermione.
Yeah I think that would be great. But nevertheless, great work! I really liked it!
Author's Response: Ooh, that's the first time anyone has ever commented on my actual style! That is great that you found it easy to read.
And, if it is Ron/Hermione centered stories you are looking for, let me recommend my fic 'Wading, Wrath, Rescue, Rush and Redemption,' which is basically five pieces of Deathly Hallows written from Hermione's perspective. I think you'd like it!
Thank you for reading and even more for reviewing, I appreciate it!
Wow !! I was surprisingly shocked when I read Hermione's "plans". You've got amazing foresight. And oh Ron.. Hes my most favorite character and I feel him inside myself. Really I try to act like Ron. And you better portray him good in next chapters. Good going. Keep it up :)
Author's Response: "You better portray him good in the next chapters," sorry, this is it. This is a one-shot, meant only to be a one-shot. I might expand it a little in the future, but I won't be adding chapters. Sorry to disappoint. If you want to read more chaptered Ron/Hermione by me, though, I have another story about them. Go check it out!
And thanks for reveiwing!
Grinning from ear to ear like a chesire from wonderland!!
Liked it very much. Ron's internal rant was very funny and quite Ron-like. In the sense that he seems the type to be in denial.
Hermione's inner scheemer was very amusing. I liked particularly how she compared love with spellcasting so matter of factly. I think you concoted a very interesting and amusing one-shot.
Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you liked Ron's ranting and Hermione's comparisons. It also makes me glad that you thought it amusing... It was to me, too, writing it. Thanks for reading my first one-shot!
OH, hello. Yes, I did like this. I think i preferred the Hermione part of the story to the Ron (although I liked Ron as well) because you nailed Hermione. I love that she had a plan, and then turned to another plan to make Ron hurt.
Ron was sweet. I did smile over the fact that he refused to believe he felt anything for Hermione and was annoyed because she was with his hero - ha ha.
Nice job ~Carole~
Author's Response: Wow, hi, Carole! Thank you for reading my one-shot!
"You nailed Hermione." I've been told I have a knack for writing her. That makes me very glad that you thought so to. Thank you for stopping by!
Hmmm. I thought it was good but it was over so quickly. It was written very well, as per usual. I liked the whole theme of jealousy throughout the story. I think that if you expand it a wee bit more it would've been better. It's like, you just jump from being at the Yule Ball to two years later, so it's a bit sudden, to say the least. It would be great if you could continue this.
Author's Response: Wow, you are just Johnny-on-the-spot, aren't you?
"As per usual," you flatter me! Haha. I agree completely, it is very short. Perhaps in the future I will expand it. It is basically the composite of two drabbles squashed together, so that is why it is so short, since a drabble must be under 500 words.
Thank you for your review! Your reviews are always helpful. =)