Reviews For Shrouds
Reviewer: Kaiserin
Date: 10/03/10 17:40
Chapter: Chapter 3 - Chicken Soup

Poor, poor Hermione...

And, sorry, but either my math fails or it took Ron about two weeks to get a replacement for Hermione AND introduce her as a date to his family!?!?!?

Not to mention waltz his new catch under Hermione's nose without so much as a heads up!! I can't help but say... Ron's a bit prick-ish for my taste. He never was the brightest tool in the shed, but I liked him a bit better to expect something so low from him.

As for Draco... I'm pretty sure helping with that splinching will do some good to whatever is growing between them.

Me likes very much this story and how you're setting it up. And making our heroine and nemesis slooooowly creep towards each other.

I particularly like the fact that Hermione seems to be trying to fix Draco... Trying to save him. I think that's a female trait, we've got a week spot for bad guys and lost cases... It's like nursing a puppy. We can't say no to that! I like tha fact that this story keeps holding on that. On any other case, I suspect Hermione would turn her back on Malfoy, but he really needs her so badly, and she's the only one that can help right now.

And on the other hand, he seems to be living up to her expectations and playing good guy. Let's hope he keeps it up!

I'm puzzled about that detail you added about Daphne and Blaise there... Is that cannon or something particular to this story??

Oh, one more detail... Verity... you should be ashamed of yourself! I know I'm provably taking Hermione's side too much, here. But c'mon! Accepting a formal presentation to family, in plain sight of a former girl, 2 weeks post break-up is not a nice move. And Verity must have known Hermione would be there!! She can't be nice!

Author's Response: Okay, I don't want to say too much, but keep reading because ... aghh, I can't say, but basically this is written from Hermione and Draco's POV so it's their perceptions rather than ... (I'll leave it there). JK Rowling said that some Slytherins came back to fight, which was partly why Imade the comment about Daphne and Blaise coming back (I didn't mean to imply they were married by the way, which I realise may come across). I have also written another fic about Blaise which talks about the battle and two of his girlfriends.

Reviewer: snaperocks
Date: 10/03/10 6:06
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

i read the first chapter and i instantly fell in love with it
amazing!!!!
superb writing, and a great plot, the angst, romance, comfort in each other....this is exaclty the kind of story i love reading and the kind of story i was looking for today and found! what a wonderful surprise...the writing is actually causing emotions within me!
awesome job!
so excited to read the next two chapters and beyond! ur amazing!

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as much as the first chapter. It was a lot of fun writing it (although some bits were very hard) Thanks again ~Carole~

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 10/02/10 20:57
Chapter: Chapter 3 - Chicken Soup

Awesome cliffhanger!
I was right about Ron! It just seemed like something was going on with him to be that mature about the breakup. It also lends a nice degree of depth to the story. Verity was an interesting choice for his new girlfriend, since I've read more fics with her paired up with Fred or George. Much better than introducing a random OC, though, and much better than putting him back together with Lavender!

I still love your angsty Draco. I feel like there is still some mystery to him, something we don't know that is really, really torturing him. I like how you are building it piece by piece. His throwaway comment about Greyback makes me wonder if he is a werewofl? I was a bit surprised that he was waiting for Hermione and so readily asked for her help, but on the other hand, you've set it up well enough that *she* is somehow at the root of his mental torture, so it makes sense that he would seek her out for absolution. And I do believe that he is capable of change. And then I really sort of liked the way Hermione kissed him to stop him talking: An angsty, depressed kiss is sometimes just as good as a passionate, fiery, in-the-middle-of-a-row kiss. ;)

Deperately awkward scene at the party. Ron, Ron, Ron. Too soon. But that would be in character, wouldn't it? Even Ginny acknowledges it. Ginny and Hermione's conversation was well-done, it was good to touch on Ginny's bad feelings about the Malfoys from CoS.

You can tell you've done your research when it comes to DH and tons of other small details. That makes it seem very, very close to canon. :) Can't wait to see where it goes, and how Hermione recovers from being Splinched!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Oh, thank you Gina. Hmm, you've touched on a few things here that are still a bit WIP - ha ha - I think I need to get Nat back on the case. I nearly cut that kiss, actually, so I'm glad you liked it. Yes, there is a bit more to Draco's angst and also his seeking out Hermione, Thanks for reading and reviewing. ~Carole~

Reviewer: decdraft
Date: 10/02/10 20:50
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

I almost didn't read this when I saw it was Dramione - until I saw you wrote it. Love your other stories, so I gave it a shot. Glad I did - great story! Loved Draco as a tortured soul. And Ron is such a prat! Good job, can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you gave it a chance. I'm not a huge Dramione fan myself but wanted to see if I could write it. Once I had the idea, it wouldn't let go. ~Carole~

Reviewer: littlewolf
Date: 10/02/10 13:15
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

i really like your description of draco and the chicken soup. it was very malfoy to push away anything muggle-made... yet he just hesitated a moment and continued eating, repeating the phrase "it's good". somehow i feel like it hints at so much more (or maybe i just think too much) - like his acceptance for muggleborn and hermione and his willingness to change.

and i hope hermione will be okay soon! i can't believe ron moved on so quickly. sighs.

Author's Response: Oh, hmmm, keep reading ... that's all I'll say about a certain Weasley - ha ha. Thank you for reading and also picking up on the Chicken Soup ref and the fact that he hesitated. he's not there yet - is he? I think Hermione enjoyed that moment. Thanks again ~Carole~

Reviewer: muggle girl marauder
Date: 10/02/10 9:04
Chapter: Chapter 3 - Chicken Soup

Poor Hermione, I want to bat bogey hex Ron so badly, or maybe make him vomit slugs again.

I love the way you're pacing this, it's very believable. I can't wait for the next chapter!
~Lea

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I wanted this to be plausible so your words mean a lot. Mmm, maybe she should attack him with those birds again. ~Carole~

Reviewer: dracoalways
Date: 09/27/10 7:34
Chapter: Chapter 2 - Fight or Flight

I am really enjoying your story. Your writing has a very mature voice which I am particularly impressed with. I love that you had Hermonine confront Draco about his lack of help in the 7th book, I think that issue desperately needs to be addressed in so many fics and isn't. I am curious why Hermoine reacted so passively when Draco kissed her, with all the anger is she is harboring and the downright rude manner in which Draco carried it out -- not to mention that she is with Ron. Looking forward to an update!

Author's Response: I think she was taken by surprise by the kiss, and was also astounded by the fact that she nearly responded. She was also recovering from the fact that she'd thought for a while that Draco had killed himself, and had had two glasses of wine. At the time he kissed her, she wasn't feeling angry. That spilled out later when she got to Malfoy Manor. ... Perhaps, she just fancies him rotten ;-) . No it's not that simple; there are a lot of things going on for Hermione, and this is only the beginning. Glad you like the story and I hope you keep reading ~Carole~

Reviewer: CoolCatElly
Date: 09/26/10 11:17
Chapter: Chapter 2 - Fight or Flight

Hi there!

Thanks for a wonderful chapter - it was so long as well! Loved reading it as always. Something I really noticed here was that your dialogue was really good. It was something I noticed sometimes in your older fics - that the dialogue wasn't that age appropriate or whatever - but I think you've nailed it here. The chapter had a lot of conversation in it but it always remained very natural and a pleasure to read. I love the way you're setting up the plot as well - Ron's reasons for leaving Hermione were really well thought out and realistic. There was a moment here and there which I which confused me a little though, for example Hermione's reaction to being kissed by Draco (though I suppose the alcohol is to blame) and also the easy, comfortable way Draco behaved with Hermione at the Pub - I would have thought now that he was out of the hospital that he would be more his old self or else there would be some tell-tale sign of his mental state before and at the hospital. Hm, not sure I'm explaining this well. Still great characterisation all-round, and though they were only there for a little while Ginny and Harry were stand-outs for me. That scene with them was my favourite in the chapter. Also - Ron is annoying. I'm starting to question canon more and more these days ... :-P.

Thanks for a great read!

xxx
Elene

Author's Response: Aww, poor old Ron. Thanks, Elene, for the review, and I'm pleased you think this dialogue is age appropriate. I did change a lot of my Lavender blue after you commented - ha ha. Regarding Draco, he's not back to his snarky self because ... hmm, you'll see later but it has to do with him knowing what he needs and wants. There's also a level of subconscious (sp) going on here because he hasn't realised something ... yet (wait for um ... chapter 4 - or 5 - I think.) OOH,Hermione's reaction to the kiss ... ah, you may need to wait for Chapter 6 for that. Sorry, I'm a tease, but it does get explained. Thank you for the crit and I hope the later chapters explain things properly. ~Carole~

Reviewer: hermy008
Date: 09/25/10 14:24
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

this story is intruiging. you really got into what draco is feeling, the tortured man that he is. usually, im not a advocate for draco/hermione fics, (im not going to lie) but your story makes that pairing much more realistic. i also thought you did a excellet job of capturing what hermione felt when she encountered malfoy manor again. i really enjoyed reading this, and i hope you add more on to it. :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I'll let you in on a secret, I'm not really an advocate of non canon pairings either, but I did want to see if I could make one feasible. The fact that you find this plausible means a lot to me. I will be adding to this because I've actually finished the story. There are 6 chapters in total. Thanks again ~Carole~

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 09/25/10 12:18
Chapter: Chapter 2 - Fight or Flight

Now that's an angle! Really nice job with the psychological stuff on both Draco and Hermione's part. I like Draco angsty and guilt-ridden, and Hermione's post-traumatic stress disorder (that's what it seems like, really) feels very real. I haven't read much Dramione either, but it seems like a unique and believable way to bring them together.
And Ron - Ron, Ron, Ron. First of all, just when it seemed like he might open up, stupid Harry and Ginny trip in. Isn't there some way of knocking before you Floo in on someone? I have often wondered that. That was so awkward, the way Ginny ruined Hermione's story. I don't blame Rom for being upset.
I know Hermione thought Ron was going after Draco, but at the end I couldn't help but wonder if he ran off to another woman. He was surprisingly mature about the breakup at the end and I could see that happening, especially if he was seeing someone else. It will be interesting to see whether or not that's the case or if I'm just justifying both of their behaviors with it. ;)
I LOVED the kiss, because those kind of slam-together-out-of-the-blue-what-the-hell-are-you-doing kisses are just kind of a thrill to read. I grinned big time. And I feel very badly for Draco. I don't see him manipulating Hermione (which, if that happens, you will hear a deafening "Nooooooo!" from across the pond) but rather reaching out for forgiveness. Knowing you've written much more, it will be fun to see if and when she gives it to him and how she gets there. It's a tough call for both of them.
A very good chapter, with lots left hanging to look forward to ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you, Gina. I was worried that the opening chapters were a bit ponderous, but I needed to set up Draco's (and Hermione's) state of mind. Ron is .... um ... well let's see. Oh, I am glad you liked the kiss. I just needed something arrogant and not at all tender at that moment because they're not a couple at all, but Draco I always think is unpredictable. I shall update soon once I've tweaked chapter 3. Thanks again. And can I say, it means a lot that you're reading and reviewing because you're a canon girl - like me. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Snidget151
Date: 09/20/10 10:40
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

I like your character portrayals and writing style. Can't wait to read more. Please don't keep us waiting too long!

Author's Response: It's actually all written, so I'll post chapters regularly (there are six although I'm humming and hawwing about an epilogue) Glad you liked it. ~Carole~

Reviewer: tilli
Date: 09/20/10 9:06
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

naah, i actually like Rowling's Ron. but i believe she never did justice to Draco's misguided victimised character, may be its the 'sympathy-for-the-devil syndrome' talking . but then all the Dramione fanfics make up for it.

Author's Response: Ah, well I wouldn't know about that. I don't read much Dramione, to be honest; this has been written very much as a personal challenge. I didn't mean Rowling's Ron particularly, but Ron here is being a bit of an arse. Glad you're enjoying it, though. ~Carole~

Reviewer: tilli
Date: 09/20/10 4:23
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

i love the story already... got me all angsty and ready to punch somebody...

Author's Response: OOOH, who did you want to punch? Was it Ron? Or someone real - heh heh. Thank you ~Carole~

Reviewer: the opaleye
Date: 09/19/10 5:57
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

*breathes*

Carole, that was an awes- oops, sorry, amazing start XD Draco's characterisation was just phwoaaaar! I love an angsty Draco but he can sometimes come across as just too melodramatic but you tread that line very well. I'm interested to see what you do with Ron. He is very angsty, too. Something I wasn't expecting and I'm definitely intrigued. Eek! This review is so disjointed. Just as a warning, my reviews for this fic are going to be of the incoherent fangirly variety! Can't wait to see more :)

Author's Response: OOOh, a sexy Draco, eh? well, possibly. I didn't want him all melodramatic because then we don't get his snarkiness and I do love writing snark. Glad you like it so far. Ron will be explained, I promise. Thanks ~Carole~

Reviewer: FawkesToTheRescue
Date: 09/18/10 21:56
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

Ah, Dramione fics . . . they're such beauties aren't they?

It's always really hard to get one right. So many times for me I give them a chance and they just bring me down. So many of them seem so unrealistic to me. Of course, Dramione isn't canon, now is it, but my opinion of what Dramione should be like seems so different from everyone else's. Oh well.

Anyway, I liked your fic. You seem to have it right, and it satisfies me. I like your little twist on this, and it seems realistic. It seems like it could have happen, and you've taken Dramione a whole lot further than a whole lot of other people.

I'm working on a Dramione fic right now. It'll be different from everyone else's. The nice thing about this kind is that everyone has a different perspective of the way that Dramione works. And I rather like yours.

Your characterization of Draco and Hermione was super. (God, I feel like I've said this to you before. ;D) I agree with the way both of them acted.

I can't really find anything to criticize. Sorry. ;D

Best wishes to you!

*Norberta*

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I don't read Dramione as a rule - I'm really a canon kind of girl, but I wanted to see if I could write a plausible one. I'm so pleased you think that - so far- this is possible. I look forward to reading your Dramione when it's up. Thanks again ~Carole~

Reviewer: Quill And Ink
Date: 09/18/10 19:32
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

Wow! this is very good! Your characterization is amazing! I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you. next chapter should be up soon (ish). This is all written, it just needs the odd tweak here and there. Glad you enjoyed it. ~Carole~

Reviewer: littlewolf
Date: 09/18/10 19:24
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

you write wonderful stories. i am looking forward to reading more . i think that draco's characterization is awesome; although he seems a little OOC, you justified it nicely by making him being surprised at his own OOC-ness. Trauma does change people, and I look forward to more description on how Draco changed in the next chapters =)

And Ron is very in-character. His reaction to Hermione's exaggerated article is simply Ron. I was brought back to GoF, where his envy made me turn his back to Harry; and now he allowed his jealousy (?) to let him turn away from Hermione.

Again, I look forward to more =)

P/S - i love most of your stories. am waiting for an update to "High" too! =D

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Yes, I agree about the OOC'ness of Draco. My excuse is that it's a year after the battle and he's at utter breaking point. This becomes clearer in the next chapter. He is aware of acting OOC as well - hee hee. Glad you thought Ron was good. I adore him but can't believe he could ever get over that jealous streak he has. You may have to wait a while for Hugh, but it'll get finished. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 09/18/10 19:05
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

Good start! What I like about this is that it's not *just* Hermione and Draco suddenly falling for each other - the others are there as well, and it will be interesting to see their reactions as things progress. Hermione and Draco do not pair up in a vacuum; there would be ruffled feathers all around, I imagine. Loved the Harry/Ginny dynamic in particular.

You've also set up a really interesting mystery with Ron. I've always thought that non-canon romances were most believable when they addressed the canon couple breaking up. So obviously whatever is going on with Ron - and you've set up his psyche nicely - is affecting his relationship with Hermione. Right now I sort of feel bad for Ron, but not knowing what exactly you've got planned, I'm not sure if you intend him to be sympathetic or not.

The dreams both are having are very vivid, and I like the idea of Draco suffering these guilty nightmares and then punishing himself with then. He seemed to open up to Hermione a bit quickly at times, but I also sensed some desperation mingled with his surprise at doing so. It's like he needs her forgiveness.

Good use of the title so far. :D

Overall, it's a nice start as I believe in what's happened so far and really want to see what happens next!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Mmm, I can't understand why anyone would just suddenly fall in love (myself and Davis Tennant being the exceptions of course). I couldn't write a Dramione without the others. They're an important part of Hermione, so to ignore them sets up an AU ... which this isn't. Thank you so much for the review. I hope the rest of the fic is as plausible. ~Carole~

Reviewer: CoolCatElly
Date: 09/18/10 14:31
Chapter: Chapter 1 - Blood and Glass

Hello :-D

What a great start to the story! I think you've set it up very realistically, and I'm glad that you've found a way for us to dislike Ron and kind of get him out of the picture. I can't wait to read on and see how it all plays out!
xxxx

Author's Response: Who says he's out of the picture ... Thank you for the review, Elene. ~Carole~

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