And, she reviews yet again! I think I rather like these tritinas. They're very interesting and can make an impact on the reader, and the pattern is very subtle. This one was very good, (maybe I should stop saying that, as it's a given that all your writing is good!) and, in my opinion, it has just the right amount of a sad atmosphere. I hope I didn't sound too dramatic....
Author's Response: Thank you. I wanted this to be a sad poem because I cried when Sirius died :( . Glad you enjoyed it. ~Carole~
I think this is a neat poem that definitely qualifies as 'mysterious.' The language really sets the tone well. It's quite sad at times. Did you pick the three words yourself or were they assigned to you for the challenge? Working all three into the final line must have been challenging! Lovely job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thanks Gina, I picked all three words myself, and on advice from Natalie picked words that were normal - that way it's easier to make the tritina flow. ~Carole~
Oh I'm so glad you've put this up on the archives. I really loved this. You have great flow and the repetition of the words is not too noticeable which is the trick of course! I adore the third stanza in particular, especially this:
A good man swallowed by the veil
The way you describe the veil as swallowing someone really heightens the mystery - as if it is its own being, its own entity. I love that.
Well done, Carole!
Author's Response: Thank you Julia. the idea of the Veil being an entity is intriguing. I love the while mystery surrounding it, and the fact that Harry hears things but Ron and Hermione plainly don't sparks more of a mystery in my eyes. Hmm, if he hadn't fallen into it, would Sirius have survived? Glad you liked the poem and thanks again ~Carole~
Ah, such a lovely poem with awesome flow. I like how you have crafted the Veil to be a living, breathing entity that almost feeds on its victims.
Very well done, EQ. I tried to submit mine, but I was like 17 words short. I may have to fluff the word count a little by 'explaining' the tritina. :D
Author's Response: Thank you 2B *giggles*. Yes, I had to explain my tritina and pay tribute to Natalie and Julia in the content because I was 35 words short *sigh* ~Carole~