Reviews For Bella Rosa
Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 07/05/14 1:12
Chapter: Chapter 21: Calcata and Beyond

Finally! I'm glad I decided to check and see if you updated this story. Sounds like Gabe and Bella are having a good time. The plot thickens...

Author's Response: I never expect to have reviews so I don't look at my chapters very often--pitiful. Anyway, many thanks for the review. This could be one of the last good times Gabe and Bella have. Things are getting more tense in the wizarding world. If Gabe knew I think he could handle it but Bella--I don't know. I need to get to writing. My real life keeps getting in the way. But, hang on, the exciting stuff is coming up next.

Reviewer: Vermouth
Date: 12/01/13 10:28
Chapter: Bella

Oh hai, Liana! *waves eagerly* I've been taking way, WAY too long to come up with a proper review for your chapter twenty on HPFF (stupid "you may only respond once per chapter" rules), so I thought that maybe I could just start reviewing Bella Rosa on this site as well, after all I've created an account here (luckily this name hadn't been taken yet) for some time already. Who knows, perhaps before I reach chapter nineteen here I'd finally review chapter twenty over there. :)

This has nothing to do with formality, you know. I really get a lot of new stuff from your chapters after second (third, fourth...) readings, and especially with all those newer chapters out I have so much new material to cross-reference and look back on for clues and Foreshadowing and whatnot. [Also . . . ahem . . . I have been spending literally weeks trying to read your reviews on this site (moving rather slowly since I discovered lots of good fics on the way), having gone through your one and a half thousand reviews on the other site. Oh if only more people who received reviews from you would review your fics as well.]


So now I can see more clearly that right from the get-go, Bellatrix's romantic/emotional interests were more than dangerously conflicted. She fascinates the possibility of being subservent to a Dark Lord of Slytherin, Purebloods and the rest of the whole darn world, yet her interest got intsantly peaked when she first heard that the muggle owner was reportedly a yummy kind of bloke. Col. Kurtz once symbolised the horrors he faced into a vivid dream about A Snail Crawling Across The Edge Of A Straight Razor . . . And Surviving. For a long time I have made up endings to your story in my head, wondering if one or more characters would end up muttering "The horror . . . the horror . . ." While reading your reviews (and I'm nowhere near finished yet), I came upon some of your discussions you've had with Ms. K even before this first chapter got posted on any website, about your visions, characterizations and even possible endings. Isn't Bella walking across the edge of a straight razor, as well?

It would be hard to tire of reading Bella's antics, whether it be her bullying the homeless people or adding some spice into the bar (and catching Gabriel's attantion for the first time) with that pseudo-lesbian smooch.

I never got around to saying this before, but the first time I read this chapter, I did not expect that Gabriel would have such a chip on his shoulder in the form of a dreadful personal tragedy. Without spoiling much for any first-time readers, I'd say that Her headstrong attitude had a lot to do with that outcome turning out as such. Not many ficcers would straightout make a story happen that way, with an abbrupt . . . something . . . crashing down and leaving the readers to thinking "Must it have gone that way?". I mean, why isn;t She even feeling terrible that She let { } happen and cause so much grief to Gabe? Although going back to my point at the beginning of the paragraph, I must say that your wording here gave little indication of any past miserabilities (is that even a word?). From the "Oh, yeah, and proving his mother wrong" I had only detected a son striving to prove his worth through realizing his dreams as an artist/gallery master against a disapproving mother (who wanted him to be a [insert vocation here] instead, which would have set off a contrast between him and Bella Black in a different, hopefully still workable, way.

One of the many perks of reading yours and Ms. K's stories is the amount of pop references (usually in the form of music and songs) you manage to incorporate into the chapters. You once introduced me to Muse in a reply, and I must say that "Resistance" is indeed a chillingly appropriate portraal of the way Bellatrix and Gabriel's clandestine relationship is going. Whether or not the story would be heading towards the way you'd hinted in your own reviews, I think I wouldn't be disappointed.

Speaking of which, how much do you know about a band called The Smashing Pumpkins? I first heard about it in an ad for Batman & Robin's OST, but that movie wasn't good at all so I'd given up on any related music; this year however I finally read the famous graphic novel WATCHMEN and watched the Zack Snyder film adaptation as well, but not before checking out the two trailers online. And the first one was one of the awesomest movie trailers I'd ever seen: there was nearly no dialogue (voiceover or otherwise) in it, and the whole clip was set to an abridged version of "The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning", and the audio and footage set each other off more than perfectly. The opening electronic percussions accompanied the studios' logos, small pauses in the tune is where something major takes place, etc... and the lyrics described perfectly the bleak overtune the story would present. (The rest of the songs in the film are just as awesome, but that's another story) I'm asking you to check out that film (or at least the trailer) if you haven't seen it before, and do you think the lyrics would be good for describing the moods in this story as well?

~ David

Author's Response: I cannot believe I waited this long to respond to your review. That was very rude of me. If you only knew how much each review means to me. I love reading your reviews but you always leave me thinking--so picture me just sitting there thinking about all that you said. So, let me respond to things that struck a particular cord for me. I love the Smashing Pumpkins. I have most of their cds with the exception of Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. I gave that to my youngest daughter a long time ago and never replaced it. I love the sound of their music--there's so much bass. There's going to come a time very soon when I will refer to Resistance by Muse. I'm about to get to the exciting part of the story:D Miss K has advised me to move it along. It's not so much that Gabe's mother is disapproving but she's like any Native mother with her children. He's her only (biological) son and she wants him close by not over in London. Why can't he make a name for himself back on the rez? That's all she wants--her child near to her. Bella is indeed walking on the edge of a straight razor (I've never heard that saying before but I like it) or as I like to say she's "dancing in quicksand." (Reference is to a song by Tool on their cd Undertow called Swamp Song.) She loves to live dangerously. What I was trying to portray in the story so far is that she was first attracted to Gabe because she thought of him as dangerous. He was everything her family would hate. Then she started to love him. Gabe's tragedy is a true story--well kind of--there was no accident but the girlfriend died when his daughter was around 11 or so. I know where I'm going with the ending and it will be tragic but I'm also toying with writing an alternative ending that would be much happier. I just don't know. I have a new chapter to put up. I've had it for a while but I just haven't had time to post it. I've been so busy with work writing and working on my other things at home that--oh, I'm making excuses. I'm trying to figure out whether I should write the alternate ending. What do you think? Of course, I have to write one ending before I can think of the alternate.:D

Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 11/17/13 0:43
Chapter: Chapter 20: Gabe and Bella Went Up the Hill

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Fynnsmom. Hope things are better now. I'm curious about what will happen next in the story, but now I have to wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: One thing I've discovered over time is that whenever you lose hope, something wonderful will always happen to bring that hope back. I really shouldn't complain about things because it all adds to my life experiences. Anyway, I have the next chapter written but it needs editing by me and then my beta friend. I hope to get that chapter up shortly after Thanksgiving. After that crazy, exciting things start to happen in the story. It's time to bring the story to its high point and then watch it crash. Finally, we will have a last flash of hope in the epilogue.

Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 11/17/13 0:27
Chapter: Chapter 17: Bella's Secrets

Gabe is too good for Bella. I wonder what will happen when she tires of toying with him. Maybe she'll be sorry. She may end up actually falling in love with him.

Author's Response: He is too good for her. And, he's an innocent victim and very vulnerable right now. Bella pursued him from the start, more or less as a challenge. She heard someone else talk about him and she decided to play the game and win. You have to wonder how deep her feelings go. Would a pureblood Black really fall for an American Muggle. All I can say is God bless both of them. It would be nice though if this story has a happy ending. Bella is such an intense person and she experiences all of her emotions more than others do.

Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 11/15/13 13:58
Chapter: Chapter 14: A Black Dinner with the Dark Lord

Tom sure sounds like a Nazi.

Author's Response: I guess I've always seen the Death Eaters as Nazis. I couldn't resist making the comparison. At this point Tom is a handsome young man and he's charismatic. He's trying to bring people into his cause and the purebloods are flocking to him, buying all of his propaganda. I think that's what Hitler did. He didn't start out well known and wealthy. He had to sell his ideas. Some people need someone or something to blame their problems on; for Hitler it was the Jews and for Tom it was non-purebloods.

Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 11/06/13 14:57
Chapter: Chapter 4: Friends

She seems pretty rebellious all right, and doesn't give a crap what anyone thinks of her, except maybe Gabe. Good.

Author's Response: Gabe started out to be her rebellion but you have to ask what's going on with that. She seems more concerned about protecting him and doesn't flaunt him in her family's face which you'd think she would do if she wants them to know she's rebelling. I mean, what fun is rebellion if no one knows about it.

Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 11/05/13 14:40
Chapter: Chapter 2: Gabe

Gabe is an interesting character.

Author's Response: I was so excited to see your reviews. It seems I get a lot of readers but not many reviews. Gabe is mdeled after my son--with some extraordinary talents added. I'm trying to write how I think he'd react to these many situations. I hope I'm not too far off the mark:D

Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 11/05/13 14:37
Chapter: Bella

You've taken on a challenge with a protagonist who is so despicable in the HP stories. She seems interesting, and I like the story so far.

Author's Response: Believe it or not, Bella is one of my favorite characters. I found the actress who portrayed the evil Bella to be so beautiful and when I think of Bellatrix that's who I see. It is hard to write her as a halfway decent person but I'm going under the premise that she started out as a regular person but a big tragedy befalls her and she turns dark. So she has her Slytherin qualities and the pureblood family background but something had to cause her turn for the worse. That's the point of my story--to explain what went so wrong in her life.

Reviewer: crbluvsravenclaw
Date: 08/02/12 6:10
Chapter: Bella

Beautiffuly done. I personally like Bella myself, so this made for an interesting read.


Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review. So few people do that it seems. I'm always happy when someone reads this story. Bellatrix Black Lestrange has always been one of my favorite characters. She is beautiful and has this mad insanity that makes everything she does crackle! I hope you read more as I introduce her Muggle artist lover:D See you next time.

Reviewer: welshdevondragon
Date: 09/17/11 2:12
Chapter: Chapter 14: A Black Dinner with the Dark Lord

Hello! It’s been a while since I reviewed so I thought I’d review too chapters at once. While reading them, I did feel that the last chapter was quite short and that Gabe’s ultimatum and chapter 14 could quite easily have made one full chapter, but that’s a minor quibble.

I love your characterisation of Bella throughout this story- but particularly in the details of how she dresses conservatively, over the clothes she wants to impress Gabe with. It’s just very Bella. I also loved the line “She already believed that she was better than other witches and wizards and more powerful.  The question was did she need Tom’s philosophies?  What was in it for her?  She’d have to wait and see.” It shows that Bella, despite in her loyalty to Voldemort being quite unslytherin did start her sympathy with him based in self-interest, rather than some ideology or skewed sort of love.

I really enjoyed Gabe’s thoughts in chapter 14, and the way he’s so protective of Bella- I think its very natural to be jealous and realistic that Gabe, having grown so much closer to Bella, would want to meet, no matter how uptight and English Bella characterises them as.

- Your characterisation of Rodolphus is also really interesting- he seems rather awkward, dominated by his parents (and Bella’s) but then the line “It could be fun taming a wench like that” shows him as being capable of being a Death Eater, even though the reader knows he will not succeed with Bella, but someone else might. It’s sad that your Bella is caught between what’s good for her (Gabe) and what she wants/ thinks is expected of her in the Dark Lord and Rodolphus.

A couple of nitpicks- I found the sentence at the beginning of chapter 13 “Bella fought with Gabe in a horrible way the night before.” slightly clumsy. I mean when you fight with your lover, its always horrible- and since you go on to talk about the fight the reader can see for themselves that it was horrible. Also when I first read “He asked again to be her escort” it sounded a bit odd, but maybe that’s just because in the UK when ‘escort’ is used as a noun it means someone beautiful hired for the night. I also found it slightly strange that this late in the seventies Voldemort would be okay with talking to the Minister For Magic, but that’s probably due to my personal canon of how bad things were at this point rather than yours.

I love how the conflicts in this story are now coming to a head, and really glad you haven’t abandoned it. I can’t wait for the rest- Alex (oh, and congratulations on the new puppy!)

Author's Response: I'm embarrassed that it took me so long to respond to your review. One thing that I've learned is that reviews are precious and should be responded to as soon as possible. it seemed I was so busy with work for a while. Maybe now things will lighten up a little bit. I hope so. I still have about half of Bella's story to write yet. I noticed you've been writing a lot and I can't wait to get in there and read some more:D Your nitpicks were valid. No matter how many times I read and edit, it's still possible to miss something, like the "horrible way." Escort means the same thing in the United States--but I never meant it that way. I guess I'd better watch the words I use. I can see Death Eaters as being a little awkward at times in social situations. They're pure-bloods but very conservative. They're not as experienced as they'd like to be at times. I think Bella wants to go down the good path with Gabe but she's such a risk taker. She's going to gamble and spiral down. Some bad things are going to happen. Well, I will get out of here for now and see you next time. Thanks for reviewing.

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 07/13/11 8:04
Chapter: Chapter 12: The Invitations

I'm back! You can't keep me away from this story. Accidents be damned! ^_~

By the way, you're a big tease! I know the professor rating doesn't let you get away with much, but still! I wanted to see some BellaxGabe loving.

“Merlin’s hairy balls. I almost hexed you. You’re the last person I want in my bed. Not my type at all.”

Lol! I love your Bella. And I love how she managed her mum, like it was nothing. Hehe. I am curious about how this dinner will go and what Bella will think of Voldie. Oh, and I liked Gabe's description of a wild rose; it fits Bella to a tee.

Until next time, m'dear...

Author's Response: Are you back from your trip yet? I'm embarrassed that I took so long to respond. If you received my e-mail about my new puppy maybe you'll understand. He's the baby and he's been keeping me very busy. I was stalling with this chapter because I didn't know how to write the sex scene. My beta pretty much said to get on with it so I managed to avoid the whole thing.:D Sorry. Maybe next time I'll get up the courage to write what you want to read. Remember how Bella learned some of these little "management" tricks from her mum. At first I had her Imperious Mrs. Black but it wasn't time to get that drastic yet. Bella hasn't turned dark at this point. She's just a little ornery and likes to have her own way. Wild roses are really like I described them. They're so beautiful and they can hurt you so much--very much like Bella. See you next time. You do have another chapter of this story to read.

Reviewer: welshdevondragon
Date: 07/08/11 2:49
Chapter: Chapter 12: The Invitations

This will be a very quick review- sorry- I love how well Gabe and Bella get on, and the nickname Wild Rose, is a beautiful one. I think Gabe is going to get very badly hurt, unless he flees to America. I hope he does. I loved the line "Gabe forgot about painting for the next hour while Bella demonstrated just how not prickly she could be." But chilled strawberries and good wine? That man sure knows how to impress. That's one thing- he's very cosmopolitan. It makes me kind of wonder- when he moved from the countryside to the city then did he have an awkward settling in time adjusting to the sort of life he now has, or was he always smooth?

Bella Confunding her mother was a bit of a shock but so Bella. And I liked the way Cissy was at first shocked but quickly decided it was an excellent idea. And Bella's going to meet the Dark Lord? Can't wait :)

Yes, I did manage to squeeze one more entry into the Mysterious May competition. I've been writing rather a lot at the moment. If Gabe was a Pureblood I'm sure Bella would be showing him off--it's a pity she can't, because if he knew about the wizarding world she'd probably stay on the right side of it, or more likely neutral. It's interesting what you said in your response about Rain and Gabe. I hope she manages to look after him. Alex

Author's Response: I am sorry that it took me so long to reply to your review. It seems like I'm insanely busy but I don't have anything to show for my efforts. This is the busiest summer I've had in a long time but I can't say I've done anything. Maybe I got over excited about DH2 coming out. I'm glad you liked the nickname 'Wild Rose.' I was afraid that readers might find it silly. At the same time I felt the analogy of Bella to a wild rose was perfect. They are so beautiful but so painful to have contact with. With regard to Gabe, you have to remember that Gabe moved to South Dakota from Los Angeles. He and his parents are well educated and he's moved in some very intellectual and cosmopolitan circles. When he moved to South Dakota his lifestyle was ingrained and moving to London wasn't that much of a cultural shock. I think you're right. If Gabe knew about the wizarding world and his relationship with Bella could go public, she would very likely stay on the right side. Gabe would do anything to keep her safe but he doesn't know and by the time he finds out it will be too late. I really wish Bella could tell her family but she can't. Unfortunately, she's not brave enough and it will be too late when her family finds out and she finally decides to show some bravery. Her hand will be forced and that's different from being brave in the first place. Gabe does have some powerful protection though. We'll see how that helps him. I still have to read your last mystery. It was delightfully long and I have to make some time:D As always, thanks for your review. I always enjoy reading your insights.

Reviewer: welshdevondragon
Date: 07/08/11 2:35
Chapter: Chapter 11: No, Not Owls!

This chapter was so lovely. I liked the way you characterised Bella as someone who thinks to some extent men can't help cheating. I strongly disagree, but that's so typical of the way you've characterised Bella in this story, and her whole attitude towards men and sex in general.

I loved the knife scene with Maggie. I was so worried Bella was going to stab her, and you could feel the tension and the fact that it was possible for Bella to stab her, but chose not because at that moment saving Maggie would make Bella seem better in Gabe's eyes. It's scary to think what she might do should impressing Gabe not be part of her plan at the moment.

And I've rather fallen in love with Gabe. That man sure knows how to be romantic- and yes, I don't think Bella would find someone screaming "It's a fascist regime!" that romantic. However- I do find that level of romance somewhat implausible (even on the rare occasion it happens in RL) and so the entry of the owl was just perfectly timed, as well as Bella's reaction to it. The ending, and them finally getting together, in spite of the foreboding of the knives and owls was rather lovely though. Alex

Author's Response: I think Bella's the sort of woman who has a lot of confidence in what she can do. She sees men as something she can use to her advantage or to play with. Even if she loves them, she sees them as weak and not to be trusted. At first I had Maggie tripping over something but I thought I'd try to be a little more creative:D And, Bella's all about looking good in Gabe's eyes. We know what she's capable of when Gabe's not around and she has no true love interest. Gabe is an intense romantic and he likes things beautifully simple. I just wish he'd be a little more wary around women like Bella. Thanks for the review. See you next time.

Reviewer: welshdevondragon
Date: 07/06/11 16:21
Chapter: Chapter 10: Two Dreams and . . . An Omen?

Hello! Sorry for taking ages to review- I'm about to fall asleep but if I don't review now I never will. So as usual I really liked this chapter. I particularly liked the interaction of Rain and Bella, within the dream world and Bella's ignorance of it. One thing though- thus far although you've hinted at Bella's interest in the Dark Lord she's never been explicitly involved. Which makes Rain's comment about it seem a bit premature. Also in the phrase "you are like a puny insect in comparison" I think the 'like' is unnecessary and breaks the flow somewhat. Likewise when you have a typo earlier- at one point you misspell Muggles.

I love the idea of Rain protecting Gabe and her acknowledgement that whilst who he chooses to be with is no longer her decision, she still defends him. Bella was pretty harsh to Cissy though- I'm intrigued as to how Bella will react when Cissy marries- and I loved calling Lestrange a salesman. Ha. I also enjoyed Gabe and Bella's conversation re-her parents- it's interesting that in a way she can be completely honest with him, even though he's a Muggle, whereas she can't be with anyone else.

Sorry for the wait- I'll review again come morning :) Alex

Author's Response: Thank you for finding the time to review. I realize how busy you've been lately. Did I see a third entry to the Mysterious May Challenge from you? And they're not short little pieces either. I hope to get to that soon. Before I forget, I corrected the spelling of Muggles and I took 'like' out. Thanks for pointing that out. I really hate typos and try hard to not have any. The thing with Rain is that since she's a ghost she's become a psychic. Somehow she can see the consequences of people's actions. She knows what's going to happen but she also knows she can't interfere. Bella's going to get drawn into the Dark Lord's circle and get more and more conflicted. Rain and Gabe are soul mates. She'll wait for him to join her and Autumn some day. She knows that's how it will be and that what's happening now is just the passing of time in the mortal world. I think Bella will be very jealous when Cissy marries, don't you? Bella can't show off her boyfriend yet Cissy can flaunt hers in front of the wizarding world. It is interesting how Bella can be honest with Gabe while not telling the truth. I think that pretty soon, this walking in two worlds is going to wear on her and she's going to get more and more conflicted. It will take its mental and emotional toll. Thanks for the review. See you next time.

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 06/07/11 20:19
Chapter: Chapter 11: No, Not Owls!

Yay, new chapter! :D Bella is a delightful bitch, like always. Hehe. I love her little trick with the knife and how possessive of Gabe she is. And, as always, I can see the insanity hidden deep down with in her - or at least hints at the woman she will become. Here, though, she's rather wonderful, if still not extremely dangerous. I look forward to the next chapter and wonder if there will be a steamy scene coming up soon? Hmm? I can't be the ONLY naughty one here. :D

Author's Response: I'm so glad you found the new chapter. I even have the next one finished but it may have to wait a few days since I'm going to enter the Mystery Challenge. That story will also be about Gabe and Bella. You don't know how excited I am to hear that you can still sense Bella's insanity, lurking below the surface. Writing her is a challenge, since I want her to be nice enough to lure Gabe in, but still portray her history that eventually turns her into such an evil and cruel person. She has to be realistic too. It's a fine line to walk. Every once in a while I wobble off of it but my beta patiently pulls me back on track. Never forget that Bella is extremely dangerous and manipulative. One of her favorite tricks is to lure someone in and make them comfortable. Then she attacks, when they're securely in her web. There will be a steamy scene coming up soon. For now, between this chapter and the next, the reader will be left to imagine. Thanks so much for the review. See you next time.

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 05/02/11 20:25
Chapter: Chapter 10: Two Dreams and . . . An Omen?

Sorry I took so long to get around to this. Work has been crazy. I need a vacation. But enough about me - onto the review!

First off, I must say - again - that I love your Bella. She's so in character: a snarky, bitchy, selfish woman, but with an irresistible sense of charm and sensuality. Of course, she really only shows the latter two to Gabe. ^_~

The dreams were very descriptive and leave me quite curious. Gabe's was somewhat sad and sweet, whereas Bella's was downright hostile. I know I'm supposed to like Rain, but, to be quite honest, she reminds me a lot of Bella. Obviously, she's not as crazy and selfish, but Rain does seem to have a high and mighty attitude (and I'm not talking about just here but Gabe's earlier memories of her). It makes me think that Gabe sees a bit of Rain in Bella. Whatever the case is, I want to know why Rain is even involved, and how is Gabe protected?

You have piqued my curiosity, woman. I know things wont bode well - in the end - for Gabe, but I want to read more, even though I know you'll crush my hopes. :(

I look forward to the next chapter, m'dear.

Author's Response: And, I must also apologize for not responding to your review. I was traveling last week and didn't get any writing done. I like my Bella too. She's very close to my heart:D I think that Rain and Bella are alike in many ways. Gabe has a lot of admiration for independent women. He's comfortable with himself and he believes people should be all they can be. He doesn't need to control anyone. Keep in mind that Rain is a strong Native woman. She is Gabe's soul mate and their love has survived death. Rain is not so selfish that she needs Gabe with her. She'll watch over him and wait until it's his time to join her and Autumn Rose. Rain is actually behaving a lot nicer than other women I know would act, if her man is being seduced by someone Rain knows to be evil. The dreams were similar; they held an omen since Rain has a vision of what will happen in the future. Gabe is protected by both Rain and the Creator. He's a good person who might be able to stop Bella's insanity--but none of us knows if he can do that yet--the important thing is that he tries. In the end, Gabe will lead a long and productive life. Getting there is going to be hell though. I can't wait to write more. I just need to stay home and stop taking these short trips. I'll see you next time, in your world or mine.

Reviewer: L A Moody
Date: 04/23/11 16:21
Chapter: Chapter 10: Two Dreams and . . . An Omen?

Really love the dreams and how the descriptions of the scenery crystallize the differences between Gabe and Bella. The wording Bella used for Rain and Autumn Rose, i.e. that woman and her brat, are so perfectly in tune with her derisive view of the world. And her comments about introducing Gabe to her family only if she wanted to scare him away are priceless. You’ve really captured her insolent brand of humor. So happy you were able to conquer your writer’s block; sometimes just writing anything, even if it’s on a tangent helps.

Author's Response: It was so nice to look at reviews and to find yours. I'm honored. You really got what I was trying to show in the two dreams. Gabe and Bella met Rain in about the same place--along the Missouri River. And, Rain was basically using the dreams to show the future. How Gabe and Bella reacted in the same situation showed a bit of their personalities. Gabe has respect for land and life. Bella doesn't want anyone or anything to stand in her way. Another reviewer on another website thought that Rain was too rude and haughty to Bella. I think she had to be. She doesn't like Bella and she knows what Bella is and what she becomes. This whole meeting the family business is going to cause a problem. Bella certainly can't let Gabe meet her family and Gabe's going to find that very unusual as time goes on. That was one of my favorite lines--when Bella tells Gabe she doesn't want to set him up for an evening of torture (literally). I think one of the things I learned this time about writer's block (or at least I hope I learned it), is not to over-discuss chapter ideas with people. I originally wanted to use dreams but someone didn't see the sense of it. So, I lost a major idea I wanted to use and fooled around and then decided to use it after all. Many times writing has to be a solitary affair. Once again, thanks for the review. I'll see you in one of your chapters soon.

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 03/14/11 17:36
Chapter: Chapter 9: Rain and Autumn Rose

I've been sick and haven't been reading, reviewing, or writing lately. Bad Lia! ^_~

I loved the return of Bella. While I love your OC, Gabe, Bella is my favourite and I love how you write her: “I’m never angry with myself". Lol.

Have I mentioned how much I dislike Jason? I'm surprised Bella kept her temper in check.

The story of Rain and Autumn Rose was quite sad. I like that you didn't go into too much detail, as that might have been too distracting. The ending of this chapter was rather sweet, too. I cannot wait for the next chapter. Great work, as usual. ^_^

Author's Response: I was wondering how you were. I thought you were busy as always. :D I was away from home all last week for a workshop--in Missouri. It was a lot warmer there but I think we are starting spring here. :D The bottom line is, I didn't have time for much writing last week at all so I'll try to make up for it this week. I have a start on Chapter 10 but probably need a couple of evenings to finish. When I write Bellatrix I really try to channel my inner witch. For some reason, Bella's a lot like me. :P I don't think we'll see Jason again until the very end. Jason got a little too close to the truth about Bella. He sensed there was something odd about her. I believe that Bella kept her temper in control because she knew Jason was leaving. This would be the first time she's angry with herself if she delayed his departure. I had more detail in the original Chapter 9 but my friend and beta suggested cutting it down. I must admit she was right, as she usually is. Readers seem to like this shorter version where they can be left to imagine some of the details. I hope to do some work on 10 tonight. I'll probably see you before too long in one of your own chapters. So, see you later. Thanks for the positive review.

Reviewer: welshdevondragon
Date: 03/04/11 16:29
Chapter: Chapter 9: Rain and Autumn Rose

You're right, less is sometimes more. This chapter, despite containing a pretty important revelation, felt gentle and realistic rather than melodramatic. I loved "Bella struggled not to break the delicate wine glass she was squeezing in her fist. " as a description to her reaction to hearing about Rain. Nothing more is necessary (particularly as I do that as well, and once failed). Likewise, whilst we don't really get into Bella's head much I love the way you show she cares for Gabe more than she really should, even though she's kidding herself that it's purely possessiveness. And he's so sweet, deciding to walk her to the station like a 'man' (I hate it when people walk me to the tube thinking I can't look after myself- in fact for lots of this chapter I seem to be seeing bits of myself in Bella which is slightly unnerving but showing you are doing an amazing job of humanising her and making her feel sympathetic) but falls asleep in her arms like a baby. Things however, with Gabe letting go of his past, seem to be looking a little too good. Bella's future must be about to catch her- if that makes any sort of sense. Anyway I await the next chapter as much as I awaited this one! Alex x

Author's Response: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I'm traveling right now for work and haven't had a lot of time. I'm also practicing using my iPad. Thank you for such a thoughtful review. A lot of Bella, believe it or not, is based on what I would do if I was Bella. I'm happy that you think I'm humanizing her. That's what I wanted to do. I think that when she was young, she was a relatively normal young woman. Then something so traumatic happened that she turned into the evil, insane person she became. Gabe has a very strong spiritual background that will serve him well. And let's face it, he's a nice guy who thinks the best of Bella. He has no reason not to think that. It might be a couple of weeks before I get another chapter up. I'm not confident enough on this iPad to write anything important on it. I do hope to see you next time.

Reviewer: welshdevondragon
Date: 02/21/11 4:25
Chapter: Bella

This chapter was so beautiful. I loved the mixture of Native American culture with Druid culture at Stonehenge, and then going to the pub afterwards. It just seemed so perfect.

And I really, really like the sound of Rain. I like the way in some of the stories she seems almost Bella-esque in getting what she wants, whether that means a sit-in or a dance in a strip club (I laughed aloud at that). But then there was the story about the snake which seemed very... symbolic. Given that your story is not AU I don't think this can end well for Gabe- he doesn't deserve any more hardship. And it was sad that Rain never saw him successful.

I'm really enjoying this story- looking forward to the next chapter!
Alex x

Author's Response: Thanks for the wonderful review. It makes me feel like I've achieved my purpose. I think that when I have a funeral, I want people to sit around after and tell stories about me. I know I'd look down and smile. When one of my brothers passed away, we spent the afternoon telling stories about him. That's where I got the idea for this chapter. Yes, Rain was loving--she was so much in love with Gabe and they'd been together for quite a while--and she was independent. She seemed to be able to pull off enough pranks even without magic:D I didn't realize that she was so much like Bella, but I guess you're right. That just shows the sort of woman Gabe is interested in. Somehow, Rain just seems a little more honest:D Keep in mind that Gabe is a very strong person and has a strong spiritual belief. His life's been hard but he's dealt with it. You know, I'm just afraid that he'll try to "save" Bella. Not everyone can be saved and sometimes they are but at the savior's expense. I just finished the next chapter and it's being lovingly massaged by its beta:P Hopefully it will be up in a week or so. I'll see you next time.

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
Molly Weasley's Apple Dumplings by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Molly has studied history and knows the old stories, but she also knows what...
Early, Early Spring: Professor Sinistra Reflects by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
I didn't know much about Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy Professor, until...
It Takes Two to Tango by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
They cannot keep doing this; it is only a matter of whose resolve will break...
In The Heat Of The Morning by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Summary: In the heat of the morning, Katie and Leanne lie in the grounds...
Can't Fight the Moonlight by Acacia Carter 6th-7th Years
A life-changing disaster at work drives Neville Longbottom to seek aid from...
The History Teacher by iLuna17 6th-7th Years
Maybe he didn’t just love history, maybe he loved being a history teacher.
white on white by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Three vignettes about scars, love, and sex.