Reviews For Two Snakes Burning
Reviewer: Arenick
Date: 09/08/10 17:20
Chapter: Chapter 1

Very descriptive and you described the duel superbly. Short and precise but very good.

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 09/07/10 12:50
Chapter: Chapter 1

Very good! You brought him to hell and back again!

Reviewer: hestiajones
Date: 09/04/10 16:08
Chapter: Chapter 1

EEP! Sorry about this second review, but I meant "the idea of a Slytherin being an Auror" in my previous review.

~Natalie.

Reviewer: hestiajones
Date: 09/04/10 16:07
Chapter: Chapter 1

Well, hello there!

That was an excellent first story. You handled the theme of revenge really well. In fact, I'd say that you were going for more subtexts than the story lets on in the first read - the idea of a Slytherin being a Death Eater, and the argument over using a Killing Curse (the worst Unforgiveable, according to canon). Liam was certainly made more interesting by the fact that he was a Slytherin, and he is resourceful, cunning and ambitious. The ending was also superb: it leaves the question hanging, and though for Liam, the answer is already apparent by his final decision, it addresses the readers' conscience and sense of judgement.

Another thing I liked was your narrative style. You went through the history of Liam's reason for seeking vengeance, and the night when he goes out to do it in just two thousand words by craftily interspersing the memories into the narrative. That is indeed a huge achievement!

I would have preferred a bit more on why Liam's mother was attacked by a Death Eater, plus the timeline of the fic. Since the villain here is a Death Eater and not a random sex-offender and murderer (for I gather there was sexual abuse involved in Mrs Larkan's murder), it would have been interesting to figure Liam's own history - was he involved in either war?

My other nitpick is that spells should always be italicized.

That said, this is a fantastic debut on MNFF archives. ;)

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for that! Yeah, I typically dislike the whole 'Slytherins are evil' stereotype. That's why I prefer to paint the character in gray. The thought of revenge could easily consume any character, and this is simply how I felt one person may act upon it. I understand the need to italicize spells, too, but as you can see, I used italics in this story to connote the character's flashbacks, and didn't want any confusion. That noted, thanks again for reading and the review. ^^

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
A Story for Charlie by Darkness Enshrouds 3rd-5th Years
A boy. A girl. A budding romance. If only things never got complicated... (Violence...
Scorpius Malfoy and the Salem Witch Trials by Hotrav 3rd-5th Years
The third story in the Scorpius Malfoy and the Sins of the Fathers series. Lucius...
No One Can Ever Know by Nagini Riddle 3rd-5th Years
"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?"~Dumbledore to...
FEATURED
My Troubled Tyrant by Belledeg Professors
Keedie Dante has experienced many amazing things during her time at Hogwarts...
His and Hers by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
In a perfect world, Neville and Hannah's wedding would go off without a hitch...
All This Waiting For The Sky To Fall by Dawnie 1st-2nd Years
They found her body - broken, bleeding, face filled with signs of pain and fear...
Sanguini, the Vampire by teh tarik 6th-7th Years
Vampirism is the persistence and the perpetuity of the body, a madness of the...
Lost and Found by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
When Tracey Davis's financial security was a casualty of war, her family is...
CATEGORIES