MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: hitrost0 (Signed) · Date: 03/22/12 20:24 · For: Chapter 1
Oh, this is SO nice and sweet! Thank you very much.
They deserve a little bit of happiness.

Name: I hate Tuney (Signed) · Date: 03/09/11 15:19 · For: Chapter 1
I liked the scene with the kiss in the drawning room in the dark with no one around..I found it sexy.. ;))

Name: Elliot Scamander (Signed) · Date: 02/28/11 13:53 · For: Chapter 1
Awwe adorable! I love it!

Name: hogwartsbookworm (Signed) · Date: 01/25/11 17:39 · For: Chapter 1
I adored this story! I have written a Remus/Tonks myself, but I must say, I like yours better. Such a creative idea!

Above everything else about your story, I loved your explanations, so I’ll start with that.

I loved your reason for Tonks becoming Tonks rather than Nymphadora. I always just assumed that she got teased about it when she was a child, but I loved the way you used her love of an adventurous character not only as a reason to go by her last name and give herself an unconventional appearance, but as the beginning of a character trait that would make Remus irresistible to her.

I loved your reason for Remus being, well, the person he is. I love that he wanted adventure. That makes his inability to say no to his adventurous friends so much easier to understand. I always thought that he couldn’t say no because he didn’t want to lose the only friends he had ever had – since being bitten, anyway. But in your story you quite convinced me that not only did he want to be accepted, he craved the adventure that those friends brought with them.

However, no story is perfect, however much this one strives to be so.

While I understand your reasons for having Remus kiss Tonks in the drawing room during OotP -- that you wanted him to have his moment of assertiveness in a life full of enforced passiveness -- I’m afraid that, on the whole, I still think it was OOC, of Remus at least. As the other review that brought this up said, Remus sincerely thought that he was too old for Tonks, too dangerous. That isn’t something that really changes whether you are in the midst of a war or not.

Also, in the second paragraph of Remus’ POV (if you count the one sentence paragraph that begins it), there is a spot where you say ‘a child so emerged in another world.’ I believe you meant ‘so immersed in another world.’

I think some of your lines are quite lovely. Rather than just using words to tell your story, you paint the story with you words. This sentence, in particular, I just loved: “She wanted to know how he could smile with his eyes whilst his mouth remained neutral, and why sometimes, when he did smile with his mouth, his eyes were so, so sad.”

Thanks for sharing this lovely, semi-bittersweet story. It was a very nice read. Not even the OOC kiss can prevent me from favorite-ing it.


Name: DogLover4Life (Signed) · Date: 11/11/10 23:49 · For: Chapter 1
Wow. This was really something special.

I enjoyed the way Remus and Tonks found what they were longing for in each other. It fit together very, very well. Remus would thirst for adventure because he had to live life so contained, and structured. Tonks, on the other hand, would long for mystery because her bloodlines gave her a history and a guideline for her life, almost.

Though I thought the kiss was somewhat unconventional, I still think it worked. Your characterization was really interesting. Remus and Tonks were being adventurous and mysterious. It makes so much sense, even though my immediate response was to think it OOC.

I want to wish there were more to this, but it's so complete already.

Name: decdraft (Signed) · Date: 09/01/10 10:17 · For: Chapter 1
Well done - well written! Excellent characterization. I think you captured Remus and Tonks, really liked pulling in motivations from their childhood which shaped them as adults.


Author's Response: Thankyou very much! :)

Name: Lilinoni (Signed) · Date: 09/01/10 6:45 · For: Chapter 1
I was pleasantly surprised when I read your one-shot about Tonks/Remus. It really was very different from the fics I read about them before. What really drew me in at first was of course the title ;D. I love The Fray!! xD Especially this song!
I also really love your explanation for her looks and behaviour (and of course her name xD). Describing how she struggles with the fact that he is a werewolf and how he wins her interest by just looking at her is really well done!

One thing though, I thought did not really fit with his character was that he kissed her in the drawing room. I don't really think that Remus would do that, because he really thinks that he is too old and to dangerous for her. And I don't believe that he would've let his guard slip this way. Especially after Sirius told him to stay away. I'm not sure he would've risked his friendship with Sirius. But then again Harry did risk his friendship with Ron for Ginny, though the dynamic of his friendship with Ron is different then Sirius' and Remus'. But that's just my opinion ;). Maybe he risks it, because Tonks is something special? But how does he know that at that time?(Him being a more practical and responsible person).

I really like how you describe both POVs, because it gives you a good insight into their thinking and explains why they behave this way or that.(especially why Remus has trouble saying "no" xD) Also how you connect certain elements. For example Remus' love for adventure. The connection between Tonks, adventure and love was really well done. Furthermore the part were he doesn't see himself as a hero (of the adventure), but Tonks then calls him:"Remus, my hero!”, was very clever. xD Thus in the end Remus is Tonks' hero regarding love ("the biggest adventure yet").
I enjoyed how you suddenly changed to present tense in the end. It is like Remus comes back from his thoughts about the past and it ends the story in some kind of a conclusion (kind of like: this is how their relationship is today). Perhaps, you should write some kind of connecting sentence or sth, because I was kinda taken aback that the tense changed so suddenly and I had to go back and read that passage again.

Anyways I definitely really enjoyed your story! Well done! I'm going to read more of your fiction from now on. xD I hope my review is of some help to you.

Lily Mae

Author's Response: In regards to Remus kissing Tonks, I wanted to give him a more assertive character... Where he had gone through life not being allowed to do so many things, and suddenly, he had the chance to grab what he wanted, and so he did. In my head, at least, Remus only starts avoiding Tonks after Sirius' death... They seem pretty close, and Tonks seems pretty happy in OotP, whereas she's more depressed in HBP - I think after Sirius died, Remus realised how dangerous the war really was, and how people really were going to get hurt. I'm glad you liked the characterisation rtegarding the umbrella-scene, it's my favourite part xD Anyways, thankyou for you super-review, it was awesome! It's really helpful to get feedback like this, and I'm glad you'll be reading some of my fics in the future ^.^

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