MuggleNet Fan Fiction
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Name: the opaleye (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 23:15 · For: Justin Time
*sniff* I knew this was going to be sad. Poor, poor Justin and poor, poor Colin. It always pains me in DH when we find out Colin died (it pains me when anyone good dies, even Hedwig!) but it was sad to relive that in this chapter. However, I loved the story you came up with for Justin. For someone was going to be sent to Eton it certainly made sense!

Thanks for another great chapter. This fic is keeping me going through my exams, honestly. And again, congrats for your 2 QSQ awards! It's great seeing Mark Moon get the recognition he deserves :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review (and for the congratulations Ė Iím ďreet chuffedĒ about the awards). I havenít finished with Colinís death yet. As I reread these stories (and Iím busy on chapter 20 now) Iíve realised that Colinís (and Fredís) deaths are the ones which form a thread through these stories. Iíve ignored (almost entirely) Lupin and Tonks. But then most of the DA didnít know Tonks. Next: Voldemort Doesnít Play Quidditch, then: Waning Moon (about guess who?)

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 19:14 · For: Ernest Endeavours
Awh... Poor Ernie... Deep down don't we all wish the same?

He did have that way of being a good guy but still annoyingly obnoxious, didn't he?

Author's Response: Trying to keep Ernie annoying and rather pompous while also making him a worrier and a hero was interesting. I could not write this in the first person, because his self-image is so much better than the truth. -N-

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 18:50 · For: Good Bones
*snorts* Your Susan is so cool! I like how she seems so cold, calmed, steeled against a world that's crumbling down all around her.
I particularly like your clever, VERY clever views on DADA. (the troll detail on Polly's chapter, the thing on indirect attacks)
Nice chapter.

Author's Response: Susan (or ďThe Ice MaidenĒ as she will be called in Chapter 12: Epiphany and Fall) always struck me as a bit of a loner. We rarely see her, and when we do itís clear that she stands apart from ďThe Hufflepuff TrioĒ of Ernie, Hannah and Justin, who are usually together. The indirect attacks referenced here (and in Pollyís chapter) show that, aged eleven, Ron showed natural talent as an Auror. -N-

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 18:35 · For: The Confession of Augusta Longbottom
Pheeeew... I am ashamed to admit I glad I did not get emotional over this chapter...

I rather enjoyed the thougth of a father-of-two Neville. A loving Hannah. A daughter peeved by annoying pet-names, dating Hugo Weasley, no less. ^.^

Oh, and he DID deserve it. He was stunned. I know it makes me sound like an evil, unsensitive git. But he did deserve it!

Author's Response: After four first person stories I thought that Iíd change the mix a little with this one. I put it here because (logically) Augustaís story follows Pollyís. However, technically, this is the last story as it is set in the year 2028. I understand, does anyone else? Lestrange probably did deserve to die. But Augusta would regret her actions. -N-

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 18:19 · For: Protheroe's Perspective
Alright, if you've read my previous review. I'm moving you from bad writer to evil writer...

I get it, war is bad, war is sad, war means people die. I like this Goth Polly character of yours. Quite a spunky lassie, isn't she? ^.^

Author's Response: Polly Protheroe, Muggle-born Goth Auror arrived in my brain almost exactly the way she is in this story and demanded to have her tale told. I didn't dare say no! -N-

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 17:38 · For: Great to be Back
Gotta love your Loopy Loony Luna... Snif. It must be my hormones or something... But I have to admit you got my eyes all... moisty.

People cry when they're sad. Making people sad is a bad thing. If you made me cry, does that make you a bad writer? *wink* I loved the way you got into Loony's mind and made it oh, so logical and understanable and... right. Oh, and go Terry go!!
Now, I'm going to go on reading. I hope I don't get all emotional... again.

Author's Response: This attempt to get into Lunaís brain was one of the most difficult things to write. I chose not to have her ask Terry the question: ďWhatís it like, to be able to loom?Ē Perhaps I should have, itís the sort of odd remark that makes Luna loony. -N-

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 17:27 · For: Galleon
Hehehe... Luuuuvly. ;) Now, you nearly made me like Cho at the begining. Quite an impressive feat, since I don't hold her in a very high steem.

But the first thing that came to my mind when she jumped to Marietta's defence (yet again) was: "Cho, darling. You're a Ravenclaw. Smart, remember? The loyal ones are the Puffs!" Thankfully, she came to her senses later. After Marietta behaved like a total beatch... Better later than never, I guess.

Good, good. Quite good.Again quite like it! ^.^

Author's Response: You only nearly liked Cho? Iíve failed )-; Cho seems to get a lot of grief for no reason other than sheís emotional. She turned up to fight, she was one of the first to do so. Iím rather fond of her. -N-

Name: Kaiserin (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 17:12 · For: The Calm Before
Liked it. Seems very akin to the Pomfrey I have in mind. Specially fond of the Carrow, loathing parts. Prince's touch was interesting too. I could very much picture the both of them gossiping the night away, in happier circumstances.
Liked it. Yup. Liked it quite much. Gone keep reading.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Poppy Pomfreyís job is to patch up injured children, the Carrows seemed to delight in hurting children. They were never going to be friends. N

Name: witch1561 (Signed) · Date: 11/03/10 15:17 · For: Justin Time
I think you've done well with this one, although I think it's harder to do as Justin doesn't appear all that much in the books. Just a small point - domicile for tax is about where your father comes from: for Mr Finch-Fletchley to be domiciled out of the UK (I don't think it specifies a country) his father or paternal grandfather would have to be from Monaco, and with a name like his I find that unlikely. However given what we know about him chances are he has money there he hasn't told the UK government about! And probably Monaco is happy to have him.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Justin was (almost) a blank page. He could have gone to Eton and heís got a double barrelled surname. I admit that I did (a little) research on tax. I know almost nothing about tax law in relation to the very wealthy (or even the wealthy). Another check shows that you are right. It appears that it is legally impossible to be domiciled in the UK, too. You have to be English, or Scottish etc. not British. I will rewrite that section. -N-

Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 10/30/10 18:31 · For: Abbott Ails
I'm crying! You brought out a part of the story that I dont think JK did justice to. George's grief over Fred had to have been horrid and I also wanted to know how he found out! I like your spin of him not being alone and Hannah being there to comfort him! Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Two deaths (Fred's and Colin's) will continue to affect the protagonists in these stories. I wanted George to have someone who understood with him and to me Hannah was the obvious choice. -N-

Name: fanficwriter (Signed) · Date: 10/29/10 8:23 · For: The Calm Before
What a touching story! I absolutely love the way you present it!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. -N-

Name: the opaleye (Signed) · Date: 10/29/10 3:30 · For: Ernest Endeavours
Yay I was looking forward to this one because I remembered Ernie casting a Patronus during the battle in DH. You really caught his character, Neil! He was pompous and full of his own self importance but his loyalty and desire for good trumped the flaws. And I loved the way you built up the story until you reached the end when he and the others save the Trio. Another great chapter as always :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I wasn't sure how my version of Ernie would be received. I tried to make him self-important and rather frightened. Itried to make him a bit of a Captain Mainwaring (not certain whether many people will get that reference). But despite this he 's a good friend and a staunch ally. This particular chapter was intersting, because Ernie seemed to take on a life of his own. -N-

Name: Bastet (Signed) · Date: 10/26/10 11:53 · For: Ernest Endeavours
Nice. I believe you got his traits perfectly.
Congrats and keep it up.

Author's Response: Thanks. the next chapter, Abbot Ails, has been submitted. -N-

Name: SmokeyLovegood (Signed) · Date: 10/20/10 13:55 · For: Ernest Endeavours
Great work. I have enjoyed reading your take on the secondary and tertiary characters. It adds a nice perspective.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, two more Hufflepuffs to come before I move elsewhere. -N-

Name: sas__x (Signed) · Date: 10/20/10 11:37 · For: The Calm Before
Hello! This review is for the first chapter, the calm before. Can I just say, you nearly had me in tears when you wrote about Madame Pomfrey thinking about the students as her children. I had never actually thought about it in that way before, but it is true. She would of. I love the idea of her and Madame Pince being friends, as they probably would have been. I have one little nit-pick and that is that at the end your sentence’s don’t really flow as well as they could. It feels kind of broken. Apart from that, I can’t think of anything. I really enjoyed and liked reading this and I can’t wait to read the rest! –Sarah

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The word Matron has many meanings: a woman who is head of the nursing staff in a hospital, a woman in charge of the medical arrangements in a boarding school (like Hogwarts) and a woman who is thought of as being mature, sensible, and of good social standing. Madam Pomfrey is all of these. The final sentences were deliberately short as the action began. Perhaps, stylistically, it does not work. I will take another look at it. N

Name: minervassister (Signed) · Date: 10/20/10 4:58 · For: The Calm Before
Really enjoying this series showing the battle from lots of points of view.
The characterisation is excellent and in canon as we have come to expect from you.
Thank you for taking the time to write such good stories.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. As the Battle continues you will see: more Original Character stories (there will be four), plus three from the point of Slytherin students. These stories are a lot shorter than most of my stuff, but they provide useful background for these characters in my future history. -N-

Name: witch1561 (Signed) · Date: 10/13/10 12:13 · For: The Calm Before
I want to add another to the list of glowing reviews for this story - or perhaps collection of stories is a better word. Polly's chapter in particular I think is very good, as is Susan's and Luna's ... well really all of them. You have created a lot of very convincing different voices to tell the story, and I like that. Will all the stories be the survivors? Or will you tell the stories of some of the dead as well?

Author's Response:
Thank you for the review.

Iím not certain myself whether this is a short story collection or a multi-viewpoint novel. It is the same battle, obviously, and some scenes will be viewed from several perspectives. I will not be writing from the point of view of anyone who dies. I have not touched (at all) on Lupin and Tonks part in the battle, probably because Iíve read several such stories and I worry that I might accidentally plagiarise. But you will discover the how and why of Colinís death and youíll see both his and Fredís death from several perspectives.

Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 10/13/10 10:20 · For: Good Bones
I like it! You brought out a side of Susan that you just don't get from canon!

Author's Response: Thank you. Susan the lean and good (or ďthe Ice MaidenĒ as Lavender calls her) will continue to appear in my other stories. -N-

Name: the opaleye (Signed) · Date: 10/13/10 3:58 · For: Good Bones
Yay another update! I love the way you are able to take characters we only know a little about in canon and turn them into such real, tangible people. It really brings the battle to life for me again. Susan's focus, composure and loyalty really came through. I love the way you have her mentioning her aunt throughout the fic- it is clear that Amelia is someone Susan looks up to and it adds another dimension of her loyalty to family and to what she believes is right.

This was such a nice read after a long day of study and I'm really looking forward to seeing your take on the other DA members during the battle. Great job as usual, Neil!

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review.

I tried to make my Susan (and she is mine Ė I donít think that Iíve ever read a story in which she appears) focussed and somewhat in awe of her aunt. Iím really pleased that that this came across. I see her as being very ďprim and properĒ and rather obsessed with words and names, too.

Not all of these stories will be about the DA members. Augusta, Polly Protheroe, Oliver Wood, Mark Moon, Draco, Goyle, Lavender's parents, Buckbeak, Millicent Bullstrode and a motley collection of Aurors will also get a chance to shine (or, in some cases, tarnish).Next: Ernest Endeavours

Name: Aussiegirl_USA (Signed) · Date: 10/07/10 12:37 · For: The Confession of Augusta Longbottom
Such a hood story!! I hope you write more tales.., you captured much of what happened outside of Harry's world. Good job!

Author's Response:
There are (or will be 23 "Tales of the Battle" from 23 different perspectives. The stories are linked (in that it's the same battle. Augusta saw the person responsible for killing Auror Cleverley (in Chapter 4) but you'll have to wait for a long time to find out who dug Polly Protheroe out from under the rubble.

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