I love this fan fiction. It is one of my favourite reads at the moment. Your writing is true to the characters; in fact, your writing is great overall! Every time I read the chapters I believe that Seamus is talking, or Luna Lovegood, or Oliver Wood (my favourite chapter, by the way!)
My favourite thing about the way you write your character's thoughts. They seem to be taken directly from the characters themselves. For example, Seamus's comments about Luna may seem to come across as sheer ignorance to some readers (I can hear them now: "He'll never understand Luna as well as Harry or Neville!), but to the smart reader it'll come across as "blissful" ignorance (for lack of better phrasing). For example, you've seemed to have acknowledged that Seamus and Luna are in two different Houses, in two different years, and they very barely know each other, as Seamus went to only one DA meeting. That's hardly eenough time for a relationship to develop. Instead, he would have only gone on first impressions alone, and what he heard from other people. I may be reading too much into this, but it seems that you the author have captured this prefectly.
Please don't stop writing (you're one of the few writers who update on a regular basis!), don't be discouraged, because this is amazing work!
Thanks for the review.
This “novel” is something of an exercise in writing styles for me and sometimes the characters demand certain things (Ernie would not cooperate in the first person, he simply had to be written in the third person).
I originally intended to use the interview format (used for Oliver) for a Lee/Harry interview in a one shot.
You’re right that Seamus has had very little to do with Luna (one DA meeting plus the first term of his seventh year). That, strangely is the reason why there won’t be a Remus/Tonks chapter. Other than Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny, no one (other than my Original Characters) knows Tonks.
These stories are slowly creeping forwards and soon we’ll reach the “second battle” (that bit after the ceasefire). There will be 23 chapters and my current beta (OliveOilMed – who like my earlier beta’s deserves a lot of credit) now has chapter 21: Snakeslayer. I’m aiming for a chapter a week, and so should be done early next year. -N-
it's nice to see the mature side of lavender! Nice job and keep them coming!
Author's Response: Thank you. This is the middle (and probably the longest) chapter. The next is on it's way. -N-
You got Lavender perfect here! Poor Seamus, but way to go!!
Author's Response: Thanks again. (-; -N-
You got Lavender perfect here! Poor Seamus, but way to go!!
Author's Response: Thank you. If I could have used little heart-shapes to separate the sections, I would have! Lavender would like that. (-: -N-
this is a superb series of pov's. You have really managed to bring the Battle of Hogwarts alive from so many different perspectives. An electrifying read, and I'm thoroughly enjoying every chapter.
Well written and totally addictive,
Kara's Aunty ;)
I'm now working on the final (twenty third) chapter. These stories have been a bit of an experiment for me. Twenty thre narrators in first, third and even second person perspective and sometimes set long after the battle. I'm glad that it's working.-N-
I can't believe I've missed three chapters of this! Where have I been?! First of all, Voldemort Doesn't Play Quidditch was such a touching chapter. It brought tears to my eyes! Also, I generally enjoy Oliver Wood fics and your take on his post-battle character was great to read.
Ahh, it was so good to see more of Mark Moon. This chapter was intense to say the least. I loved it. And it was interesting to see another reaction to Voldemort's demise. While people around him are celebrating, Mark's life is still in turmoil. He can't find his sister and the celebration just fades into the background. It doesn't even seem relevant. I loved the way you showed that. And thank you so much for the dedication. It brought a smile to my face.
I see you have another chapter up now but I'll read and review later after I get some sleep!
Author's Response: Julia Thanks for the review(s). Oliver is such a Quidditch fanatic I really could not see any other way to drag him to the battle. I’ve been trying to write a “Lee Jordan Show” story for some time, too. This was not the story I’d intended to use, but it seemed appropriate. I give poor Mark a hard time in this chapter, and his future girlfriend an equally hard time in the next. I find that OC stories get very few reads (perhaps it’s just me). I rather like Mark and your championing of him persuaded me that this chapter was worth writing, and deserved some recognition. There will be more of Mark, eventually. Neil
You have done amazingly on these last few chapters! You bring the characters right out and alive!!!! Love your work!!!
Author's Response: Thank you. You' see more suffering students soon. -N-
Wow this chapter was heartbreaking but great! I love how you incorporated the fact that other countries would be involved in the fight against Voldemort. I love the fact that you update so fast - can't wait for the next one!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review and I'm glad that you're enjoying this story (or these stories - I'm never sure hiow to refer to this collection). The next chapter, Epiphany and Fall is the first to feature a Gryffindor DA member as the protagonist. -N-
The last line, "Suddenly, the Cruciatus Curse did not seem so bad" is what makes this chapter brilliant for me. I like what I've seen of Mark in your other stories, and I'm glad you've included him here.
The Scottish Office is interesting to see: presumably it can't have all the offices that the ministry in London does, purely as the magical community isn't really big enough for that (which I assume is why Fudge is minister for Ireland as well).
Thanks for the review. When I fuirst wrote Mark (in Moon, obviously) I decided that his sister (the moon on the class list, was one of the casualties of the Battle and that Mark, for some reason, had not managed to rescue her. This story needed to be written for me, if for no one else.
The UK government has a Scottish Office (and a Welsh Office) and Scottish Law is different to English Law, I expect that the wizarding world will be no different.-N-
I'm a fan of many of your other stories and this is no exception! My favorites have been oliver and luna and i can't wait to see what other characters you choose! are you going to include any stories from the slytherin/death eater side of the battle?
Oliver was an unexpected pleasure for me to write. He was so much easier than I expected.
Chapters 14, 15 and 22 will feature the Slytherins.-N-
This was a really strongt chapter. You did a great job and brought tears to my eyes. I love reading Tales of the battle.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. After the next chapter (which I had difficulty in placing within the story sequence) there will be several chapters dealing with the height of the battle. -N-
That was very moving Neil.
Your writing just gets better and better.
Author's Response: Thank you. These stories all experiment with perspectives and methods. While most are first-person some, like this one, push the perspective. I’m glad that you liked it. -N-
Thanks for not wiping out the entire team. I'd hace killed far too many trees (by kleenexing, of course)
Great chapter. I think it's the best so far. Really. But then again, every new chapter I read leaves me with the same idea.... Me hearts Oliver.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. This one arrived from another of the questions I had when reading DH. Oliver was there! Why? Four years out of school, never a member of the DA. How and why did he go to Hogwarts. I hope that this answers my questions using Oliver's own reasoning. -N-
Well, I am quite late to this party, but this is shaping up to be my favorite of all your writing, Neil. I've only read the first two, and now I have to leave, but I will be back. Lovely writing. I can't wait to see which characters you have included in this.
Thanks (-: I hope that you enjoy the rest of the stories. The final score will be: twelve DA members, four Original Characters, three Slytherins, three Other Canon characters, and one Critter!
Please continue! This is really great. You are getting me ready for an absolute bawl-fest during the 2nd part of Deathly Hallows. :)
Author's Response: Thanks again. The next chapter (Voldemort Doesn’t Play Quidditch) is now up, I hope you like it. -N-
Oh! That was just beautiful! Who knew Ernie Macmillan could bring tears to my eyes?
Author's Response: Thank you. Ernie will always do his best for his friends and his house. -N-
*sniff* I knew this was going to be sad. Poor, poor Justin and poor, poor Colin. It always pains me in DH when we find out Colin died (it pains me when anyone good dies, even Hedwig!) but it was sad to relive that in this chapter. However, I loved the story you came up with for Justin. For someone was going to be sent to Eton it certainly made sense!
Thanks for another great chapter. This fic is keeping me going through my exams, honestly. And again, congrats for your 2 QSQ awards! It's great seeing Mark Moon get the recognition he deserves :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review (and for the congratulations – I’m “reet chuffed” about the awards). I haven’t finished with Colin’s death yet. As I reread these stories (and I’m busy on chapter 20 now) I’ve realised that Colin’s (and Fred’s) deaths are the ones which form a thread through these stories. I’ve ignored (almost entirely) Lupin and Tonks. But then most of the DA didn’t know Tonks. Next: Voldemort Doesn’t Play Quidditch, then: Waning Moon (about guess who?)
Awh... Poor Ernie... Deep down don't we all wish the same?
He did have that way of being a good guy but still annoyingly obnoxious, didn't he?
Author's Response: Trying to keep Ernie annoying and rather pompous while also making him a worrier and a hero was interesting. I could not write this in the first person, because his self-image is so much better than the truth. -N-
*snorts* Your Susan is so cool! I like how she seems so cold, calmed, steeled against a world that's crumbling down all around her.
I particularly like your clever, VERY clever views on DADA. (the troll detail on Polly's chapter, the thing on indirect attacks)
Author's Response: Susan (or “The Ice Maiden” as she will be called in Chapter 12: Epiphany and Fall) always struck me as a bit of a loner. We rarely see her, and when we do it’s clear that she stands apart from “The Hufflepuff Trio” of Ernie, Hannah and Justin, who are usually together. The indirect attacks referenced here (and in Polly’s chapter) show that, aged eleven, Ron showed natural talent as an Auror. -N-
Pheeeew... I am ashamed to admit I glad I did not get emotional over this chapter...
I rather enjoyed the thougth of a father-of-two Neville. A loving Hannah. A daughter peeved by annoying pet-names, dating Hugo Weasley, no less. ^.^
Oh, and he DID deserve it. He was stunned. I know it makes me sound like an evil, unsensitive git. But he did deserve it!
Author's Response: After four first person stories I thought that I’d change the mix a little with this one. I put it here because (logically) Augusta’s story follows Polly’s. However, technically, this is the last story as it is set in the year 2028. I understand, does anyone else? Lestrange probably did deserve to die. But Augusta would regret her actions. -N-