That was a great ending short. She was in the first and last chapter that was an amazing group of shorts. Can't wait to here what else is going on in your other stories.
Author's Response: Thanks, now this is finally finished I’ll get back onto my other stuff. -N-
As always you top your previous work! Excellent! Love it!!
Author's Response: Thanks for this (and all your other reviews). -N-
I just want to thank you for entertaining me with all your beautifully written stories. The reason i read fanfiction is because I miss the world of Harry Potter and I want to read more about it. That is why I love your stories; because your characterization is excellent and your stories are all canon. Congratulations on finishing another story that I throughly enjoyed and I can't wait to read more of your writing.
Thanks for the review.
I will now get back to working on completing Aurors and Schoolgirls, and its two sequels, Hunters and Prey, and The Slytherin Four (I’m still not sure about that title). I’ve got several “Lavender” shorts planned, and one (M.I.T.) is done. A short one-shot called Players Rites needs to be beta read, and then there is Epithalamium (one chapter done) and Strangers at Drakeshaugh, and…-N-
Yes I know, this is my second review on this story today... but I just adore your characterisation of Lavender, so I had to drop you another review. But I'll go back to Chapter 8, as that's what I got upto last time.
"Abbot Ails" - I really liked how you showed a grown-up Hannah - after all, the last time we see her in canon is basically HBP when she's devastated about her mother, and you really showed a more mature and stronger woman. I thought it was really interesting that when talking about the twins, she differentiated between them. It was a nice touch, as people don't seem to do that very often.
"Justin Time" - firstly, great pun in the title. I really enjoyed Justin in this, particularly how you explored his guilt about Colin with the comparison to how Colin had stopped Dennis.
"Voldemort doesn't play Quidditch" - this one made me laugh, but it was also very effective as a battle story. I like how you switch text types sometimes (eg the letters from Augusta and this). It gives a nice variety in the story. I think it was fantastic what you did her, showing that Voldemort really affected everyone and everything through the example of Quidditch. A great way to connect Oliver as well.
"Waning Moon" - the end of this one was just completely heart-breaking, and even in such a short space, you really made me like Mark (although this could also be because I've read "Moon"). So once again I find myself praising your characterisation....
And finally, "Epiphany and Fall". Well, as previously stated, I really adore this story. You develop Lavender so much beyond the flirty girl we see in HBP and you've just given her a fantastic story. I loved the idea that she enjoys her time with Susan because Susan is honest and real, where everyone else doesn't treat her normally. I love the idea that Lavender wants to "fight her own battles" so to speak and not have others fawning over her, it shows real Gryffindor spirit. I hope you write more fics which include Lavender, I think she's one of your best characters (though they're all really good!)
Katrina, thanks for these too.
This Hannah is the Hannah who worked in the Cauldron in “Fred and George’s Busy Day” and she’s very familiar with the twins, and the resistance. Justin isn’t the only one with a punning title; the Greene King brewery (in Bury St Edmunds) brew Abbot Ale. Justin’s chapter once again dealt with Colin’s death. As I think about it, I realise that many of these stories revolve around Colin’s death.
I had the idea for a “Lee Jordan interviews” story way back when I wrote Grave Days. This particular story would have been much more grim had I written it as it happened, the interview allowed me to give an overview.
Mark will reappear in other stories (rather like other of my original characters) and this story was easy for me to write, as I knew the story (though I hadn’t written it) when I wrote Moon.
Lavender proves (I hope) that it’s possible to be brave and honourable, and obsessed with boys and clothes. Lavender and Susan will appear in “M.I.T.: Muggle Interface Team and I have four other Lavender stories in the planning stages. “Moons” will be set in 2010 (Lavender is 30), “Down” will be set more than a year before “Bare”, “Exsanguination” is set before “Moon” and “Dinner” is set immediately after “Moon”. I like the idea of giving my Lavender stories one word titles, but it will be some time before they arrive.
I've finally got around to reading this - I've been planning to for quite a while. Firstly, I think it's a great concept and that you've really thought it out well - all the different plots link up with each other (and all your other stories) really well and you don't make any mistakes there.
I really loved "The Calm Before" - what an interesting idea to give Madam Pomfrey a perspective. You portrayed her so well, and you wrote that sense of a fear of the future and not knowing what's going to happen so well that I almost felt nervous.
"Galleon" - I liked the idea of getting inside Cho's head and I think you did it very well, though somehow it wasn't quite as compelling as the first story... but still very good. Near the end, when she thought something about how Harry was intense and difficult to like, in my head I was wondering 'now I wonder what Ginny would say about that?'
"Great to be Back" - wonderfully Luna. Seeming to be a little eccentric and flighty, and yet having all the right values underneath. I think she's a very difficult character not to caricature and I think you did a great job (also loved Ginny's description of Terry - very Ginny).
"Protheroe's Perspective" - now this was something completely different! I loved her characterisation and how you made her unique and different. The ending was bittersweet, as in a sense I felt happy that she was alive, but it brought back the loss of Tonks and Colin. I think it was very realistic that Polly often had thoughts about the children and how she didn't think they'd be capable (particularly about Colin).
"The Confession of Augusta Longbottom" - you just nailed her character so well. Just the whole idea of the letters and her confession, and that she couldn't face up to telling Neville in person was just so her. I also liked the sense that life had moved on from the battle, as (at least sofar) the rest of the stories are in the thick of the pain and death.
"Good Bones" - I liked Susan, particularly the way she admired her aunt and liked to figure out where words came from (just on that note - as far as I know, "vol" in French is a noun, so it means "flight", not "flees". It also means "theft", which I think is rather interesting, as it's almost like Voldemort is stealing himself from death... and I'm rambling here, back to the review.) I think Susan had a sort of understated bravery; she didn't openly defy the Carrows as the likes of Neville did, but there was something about her, determined to fight for good.
"Ernest Endeavours". I'm sorry to say I didn't enjoy this as much as the others. I know Ernie is pompous, I just never saw him, well, quite like this. I felt sad at the ending, as I was hoping that in this story, Ernie would see his own prejudice... anyway, having said that, you still wrote him well and created empathy for him, particularly when Hannah and Justin come in and he suddenly feels inferior. Personally that's why I've always thought he was pompous - because he wanted to prove something. Anyway, even though I didn't like Ernie so much, this was still well written.
So basically the main thing I really love about this is your spot on characterisations and the variety of perspectives and different ways of looking at the same event. Great work.
Thanks for the comprehensive review of the first seven chapters. I’ll try to respond to all of your comments.
The original versions of these stories were not written in the order they now appear, but flitted back and forth across the battle. I think that Protheroe’s Perspective was the first one I wrote. My original plan was for a “hospital” chapter midway through the battle. But Madam Pomfrey wanted to make sure that she was ready for anything, and I wanted to try to make readers worry about what might happen.
Cho was one of the first DA members to arrive. I simply had to know why, and “Galleon” was the result.
Luna is extremely difficult for me to get right, so I use her sparingly. Here are, I hope, several places in this story (notably her unasked question to Terry) where she would appear barmy to outsiders, but it all makes sense inside her head. I enjoyed this so much that there’s a Terry/Luna story later (Worn Out Boot, of course) and I toyed with the idea of making them a couple.
Polly Protheroe, Muggle-born Goth Auror was a rather eccentric creation, but she allowed me to present an outsiders view of the DA, and to provide a bit more background on “my” Colin. She appears (briefly) in “It Takes Two”.
I’ve been fascinated by epistolary fiction ever since I read Dracula. Most fanfic sites ban it, so “The Confession of Augusta Longbottom” was my way of sneaking a letter-based story in. The fact that I named (and calculated birthdays) for Neville and Hannah’s kids just for this story says a lot about me.
The Susan I now write about grew from this story. Sensible, serious and rather severe, possibly even a bit repressed, her character is becoming more fixed in my mind. I think that she’s a thinker and a planner. She won’t rush into things.
Ernie is interesting, I didn’t want to make everyone perfect, but I gave poor Ernie more flaws than most. He means well, he really does, and he works hard too. I’m quite happy for you sympathise with him, but not to like him much. He is (vaguely) based on someone I worked with (who was NOT racist).
WHAT GOYLE KILLED COLIN IM GOING TO MURDER GOYLE GOSH IM IN A VERY BAD TEMPER AND TO THINK I SORTA LIKED HIM GOSH I WILL SO TOTALL KILL HIM GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Author's Response: Oh dear, I hope that you’re not expecting a rapid resolution to this revelation. -N-
im still crying dude im like pissed with jk rowling why did they have to die espically tonks?
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Why all the deaths? I gave my opinion in the thoughts of Polly Protheroe. -N-
omg im like crying cause colin is my fave charecter and he's like so tiny and poor denise i mean njot ahving a brother anymore *crys silently*
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. If Colin is your favourite character, have you read Summer of ’97? -N-
Pretty cool character you have there, I hope he reconciles with his daughter!
Author's Response: Thank you. I've yet to decide whether Al Wabb will reappear in any of my other stories. -N-
Awww it looks like he got is daughter back. Can't wait for the last chapter to be posted.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Next (and last): Index -N-
wow i like it i forgot this was fan fiction for a while. It fills in all the parts the amazing jkr kept vague its 4 am im goin 2 sleep now biiiiiii
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. There are a lot of unknowns about the Battle and these stories are my attempt to fill some of the gaps. -N-
I think you did a beautiful job of capturing Luna and what must go on in her head here :) I enjoyed it immensely!
Author's Response: Thank you. Luna’s head is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. ;-) -N-
Awwww! So sad and wonderful!!!
Author's Response: Thanks, my end of the battle stories all seem to be rather grim, but hopeful. -N-
I was so hoping you would do Neville! He's my favorite! I loved it!
Author's Response: Thanks, Neville is great. -N-
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! that was awesome!
Author's Response: Draco is such a funny bloke isn’t he? -N-
You have done a brilliant job with this chapter as usual!
Forgive me if I am taking liberties, but are you a dad? You seem to know alot about parenting and the feelings associated with such an occupation.
Keep up the good work, thank you for updating regularly, and responding promptly.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I think that the answer is obvious, especially if you read First Sight and Sleepless Night. -N-
I love these one shots and how all your stories can be embedded in the story such as the Grave Days reference in Paperwork. You are a very gifted writer and very talented when it comes to creating such convincing original characters or making stories for the semicharacters (Susan bones, Terry boot, etc). I love all your stories please never stop posting!
Thanks for the review.
There are cross-references in many of my stories, though I try to ensure that you don’t have to get them to know what is going on. No one has (yet) spotted the biggest reference in Paperwork.
I still have Aurors and Schoolgirls, and Strangers at Drakeshaugh to complete. I have two more novel length stories (Hunters and Prey, and The Slytherin Four (though I don’t like that title), several one shots (The Drakeshaugh Dragon, Players Rites, etc.), and a six-chapter short called Moons, in the works.
It will be some time before I run out of stories. -N-
yay!! i really like this story . . . I was really excited to see the next chapter under "most recent" :D
Author's Response: Thank you. The next chapter (Index) will be the last! -N-
Intriguing to see how the Malfoys planned to get out of this mess...
Author's Response: I’ve decided that Narcissa is my favourite Malfoy. -N-
Wow, nasty manipulating Dark Lord supporters. Hope they get captured some how!
Author's Response: They will, but not for several years (in a story which is still in the planning stages).